I haven't read the entire thread but I think you are missing the point. The funeral/memorial is for the remaining family and friends. While donations and such to charities, etc are an excellent idea, there still needs to be some flowers/plant life to remind the mourners that life continues, and a life was well lived.
As for covering a casket with a quilt - it is a very good and comforting idea.
I hope you all have discussed your hopes for your own memorial and made your wishes known.