Any hints to help with a little bit of empty nest sadness?
#41
If they aren't normal feelings there are a few of us who are "abnormal" too. When my baby left for college in 2007 I thought my chest was going to burst with pain I was such a mess. Not only were the boys gone but now, for the first time in 20 years I was going to be ALONE with my husband! But, I have to tell you, it was a really wonderful 2 years! Then the oldest moved home for a year while applying to Med school and that was not easy. Now it was a "roommate" because he's not a kid anymore. In July, the oldest is moving into an apartment and starting school and I have to tell you, those feelings are coming back again. I'm teary eyed again, having trouble swallowing, the whole thing. But, believe me, when they are all home in the summer you'll be so happy.........for about 2 weeks!!
#42
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Dothan, Alabama
Posts: 914
Originally Posted by bearisgray
My mom (she was a very wise woman) said:
If one's child no longer "needs" his/her parent, that parent did a very good job raising this child.
If one's child no longer "needs" his/her parent, that parent did a very good job raising this child.
#43
well so far mine are at home for the most part. Oldest is 21 and does not plan on moving out till she gets married in about 2 years they say. DD #2 though is gone for the summer working at a camp 12 hours away. We took her up there and oh it was SO hard leaving her. Then she called last week in tears. As much as part of me wanted to say I"m on my way I knew I had to tell her buck up and survive it. I sometimes go in her room though and just look. I miss her! She and I are very close and its rough her being gone. She was my starbucks buddy the few times I can afford it! But they are not here to stay with me forever. I have the kind of mother that would still tell me what to cook for supper every night if allowed and I am determined to raise my kids to do their own thing and not interfere......well not too much :-)
#44
My dd also just graduated and will be heading out this fall. My son chose to go 800 miles away to college. My daughter has chosen one 1600 miles away!!! So I will not see her until Christmas! But I know she has chosen a great college for her and she will be just fine! Yes, I will miss her. But I tell myself that it will give me lots of time to quilt and read. And I will have one more place to travel occasionally (I love to travel when I have the money). Although with 2 kids in college I may not have much extra traveling funds! Be strong and we will all be here for you!
#45
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Bar Harbor, ME.
Posts: 2,911
The first is the hardest I think. I too cried all the way home from Amherst, MA when he left for college. This Dec. my youngest graduated from college and, after 44 years, I FINALLY have an empty nest. I was beginning to think it would never happen.
#46
I feel your pain. When my oldest moved away to college, she got terribly homesick and for the first two weeks she called us every few hours, crying, begging to come home. She was mainly exhausted, not being able to sleep in a noisy dorm. After she got used to it, there was no problem. But of course it was SO hard to tell her she had to stay. We knew she would love it once she felt more comfortable there. The other daughter went three years later, but to the same school, so they lived together, which made me feel a little better, but it was still tough to let them go.
Right now I'm sobbing inside for a friend whose triplets (2 girls, 1 boy) just graduated and will all go away to school in the fall. Her house will be so empty and quiet! She's been a stay-at-home mom since they were born, so will really miss them terribly.
Right now I'm sobbing inside for a friend whose triplets (2 girls, 1 boy) just graduated and will all go away to school in the fall. Her house will be so empty and quiet! She's been a stay-at-home mom since they were born, so will really miss them terribly.
#47
After 16 years of homeschooling, I have closed my school -- I am out of students! One is 6.5 hours away at school and the other will be only an hour away (and dorming).
I thought I would nip ENS in the bud by taking classes to get my teacher certification and getting a teaching job in Fall. I finished my classes, passed my teacher certification exams, and haven't had a job offer, yet.
16 years and 2 honor students don't seem to mean much to public school administrators. So...I've gone through my quilting stash, have organized my UFOs, and I am going to quilt (instead of just dabble in quilting and read about other quilters' projects). I'm also going to sign up to substitute teach (and use my money to go to the Houston Quilt Show and then I'm going to buy a KAYAK so I can go kayaking with my DH!)
My antidote for ENS, don't let the nest stay empty. Fill the nest with things that are important to you!
I thought I would nip ENS in the bud by taking classes to get my teacher certification and getting a teaching job in Fall. I finished my classes, passed my teacher certification exams, and haven't had a job offer, yet.
16 years and 2 honor students don't seem to mean much to public school administrators. So...I've gone through my quilting stash, have organized my UFOs, and I am going to quilt (instead of just dabble in quilting and read about other quilters' projects). I'm also going to sign up to substitute teach (and use my money to go to the Houston Quilt Show and then I'm going to buy a KAYAK so I can go kayaking with my DH!)
My antidote for ENS, don't let the nest stay empty. Fill the nest with things that are important to you!
#48
JKMom,
That is so true, don't let the nest stay empty. Take classes, volunteer. I volunteered for an animal rescue, learned how to quilt, paint, garden etc. These are things I didn't have time for when my kids were home. Your time is your own now.
That is so true, don't let the nest stay empty. Take classes, volunteer. I volunteered for an animal rescue, learned how to quilt, paint, garden etc. These are things I didn't have time for when my kids were home. Your time is your own now.
#49
You're very normal. When our first left home to go in the Army, my husband created a shrine of pictures of him on the TV. You'd of thought the son was gone forever. My daughter and I would laugh about it all the time. When our daughter went to college it was okay at the time because she was only 2 hours away. Now when they come home to visit, we love to see them, but it's nice when we have the house to ourselves again! Let's say, you get used to the new living arrangements!
#50
I know how you feel. When our "only" moved to go to college the house seemed so empty. I didn't want hubby see me cry, that first evening after he went to sleep, I went into the bathroom and had a good cry. Next day, hubby said, lets make you a sewing room. Don't worry what you're feeling is normal and it will get easier.
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