elizabeth

would you object to an all day boy/girl party with supervision? If not, let her go. I think it freaks people out when they hear boy, girl, all night, party in one sentence. BUT, I never had a daughter.

lab fairy

I had a son and a daughter both are now out of their teens. My answer would be the same. I have to know who the parents that are supervising the party, who will be attending the party, and what are the proposed activities.

Believe it or not, gender has nothing to do with many responses except that the female usually pays for mistakes for the next 18+ years the hard way. Male children are no less vulnerable because they might make those same mistakes and need to take responsibility for their actions as well. I do not need to cite statistics on birth control to tell you there are only two methods that are 100% effective and they are abstinance and sterilization.

Parents should not have to be a child's friend or be blackmailed by society into thinking that they should. I think that is where many of us make the big mistakes. Your childs friends are peers, parents are teachers of values, etc.

moonwolf23

Yeah the likelihood that abstinence and sterility is going to be practiced is very very low.

lab fairy

Actually not as low as you think. I've had thousands of students in my classrooms. I discussed this every year. Cynicism is where you are burying your head in the sand and frankly worry about the future. You cannot believe how many kids believe really stupid things (adults too). I've been part of research project with the CDC, the Human Genome Project, National Science Foundation, etc. Ignorance starts at home just like basic values, self-esteem, etc.

I'm not going to argue with you. You are entitled to your opinion. I just hope if you have children that you know the facts (not Oprah junk science but REAL information). A great visual of all the untreatable STD's, financial spreadsheet of the cost of raising a child to the age of 18 and frank discussions are really useful. I've had a few throw up with the visuals. A picture is worth a 1000 words. Nothing is worse than explaining to a young lady HOW she ended up pregnant because no one told her at home. Her parents expected the school to do their parenting. Pass the buck, pass the child, sad world.

IrishNY

You raise a good point. I already responded and said that I wouldn't let my two daughters attend an overnight co-ed sleepover at 17. I should have mentioned, and will now, I wouldn't let my two sons attend either at 17. I am an equal opportunity parent oppressor. :D

lab fairy

Me, too.

Quiltforme

Tonight is homecoming and she looked beautiful. All dressed up in highheels and hair done. I took her to get Mani/Pedis and had the best day with her. We drove her to her friends house where they sleepover is being held and low and behold I was not the only mother who would not let their daughter/son stay over. So I felt good about say she could stay for the Smor's cookout but needs to come home. I am so proud of her that she came to me and told me that there would be boys there and that she agreed with me that it was not ok. We had a blast today and tonight she is having fun!! I took lots of pictures and love how beautiful she looked. Thank you all for your advice it really helped to have so many moms/dads tell me what you would do. If not for experience where would i be!!! Jade

doxieloverred

I also said I wouldn't allow a sleepover at 17. Call it any kind of party you want, hold it any time of the day or night, I still think many are too immature to handle it at 17. Yes, it depends on the child how mature they may be but these days, some of the PARENTS don't even act maturely. Research has shown that children need, and want, guidelines and boundaries. Some may ask, not because they really want to go, but to test the waters or because their best friend is standing next to them. Peer pressure is very powerful and secretly they may be hoping for a "no" answer.
Even if I err on the side of caution and not allow her to go, missing one party is not going to kill her. But going to that party just may.....

bluekrissyspikes

right on, good for you!

quilterfly

My daughter is 43 & a very successful business woman and I'm very, very proud of her accomplishments. She grew up during the 70's/80's when drugs were the "thing to do". I remember some really awful fights with her because she thought she could "handle" things on her own. I didn't give an inch & I've never been sorry. It comes down to the fact that you love her & want her to be safe & you should follow your instincts on this.