poultney

A memory quilt next year for Christmas would be good a time and a prayer quilt/comfort quilt would be what she needs now. Such a hard time for all of the family, you all need our prayers.

Marguerite

These ladies have good insite. I think they are right. Your heart is in the right place but she may not be ready for it. I made one for my daughters boyfriend and I was a little nervous about it. It was at her request and I wasn't sure it would be the right thing because I really didn't know him at that time and he was only 23 years old.

Boni53

I agree with many that a Cuddle quilt is the way to go now.
Don't give up your Memory quilt. She needs support and love now. All of which you will give her. Safe travels and prayers for SIL and family.

Qwiltylady

The comfort quilts I make are appx 45X60 and have a flannel backing so they can be cuddled. My neighbor took her own life leaving 4 beautiful girls without a mother. I made them comfort quilts. A memory quilt would have been a very bad choice.

Barbm

I lost my brother 5 years ago to suicide. I have a box of his clothes to make a quilt. Even after 5 years I cannot bring myself to make a quilt. If by accident I happen to open the box and catch a glimpse of a shirt- OMG- my heart plummets to the floor and I tear up instantly. I don't know if I will ever be healed enough to make a quilt.

A comfort quilt would be perfect right now.

(my heart goes out to the family, as a survivor, the pain is raw and deep and the questions and emotions are just swirling around. A comfort quilt might just the answer when you need to surround yourself in it and make the reality a little softer.)

Quiltmaniac2010

I agree that a comfort quilt would be best right now. Your avatar quilt is absolutely gorgeous and would be an extremely thoughtful gift. Grief is such a personal thing. My mum has been gone for 6 years and I still wouldn't be ready for a memory quilt. She is lucky to have such a caring SIL.

Monica

I would hate to see all your good intentions and hard work put away in a closet not to be looked at or enjoyed. Anything that is a constant reminder of a death is really hard to deal with for quite a long time, if ever.

Dreaming

I think if you really don't know the situation, it would be best not too. Maybe her mom and her had problems in the relationship, I mean, anything, you don't know. It might bring her more pain then comfort. Just make here a cozy quilt for now and when a some time has passed, ask her if she would like you to make her one. That way if she says yes or no, she will know that you care either way.

LastGrandma

My SIL died several years ago after a 10 yr bout with cancer. She and her husband had been married for over 40 years, but we knew she would never make it to 50 years. So I made a memory quilt for their 45th Anniversary and they enjoyed it for a few years. But it has been in a box for several years now, somewhere..... I do not know if it will ever be enjoyed again, but not in her husband's lifetime I'm sure.

I'm telling you this so that you might understand that everyone handles grief in their own way, and some never even recover. I agree that a memory quilt now may not be the best idea (and it may never happen), but a small quilt for your SIL would be nice and it will help you too! Sorry for the family's loss.

lnikkers52

Wow lots of different sides to this . My opinion is it's till her mother and no mater what they did or didn't go thru. I think a memory quilt by the time you get it done would be welcome . AND IF she's not ready yet she can put it away and bring it out when her heart tells her too. and you can tell her when you give it to her you may not be ready now but some day you will. and if in time she still can't bring herself to have it maybe a grand child or someone else in family would love to hve it. just my opinion. God be with you in your decsion