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I think I have a problem

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Old 11-06-2010, 11:47 AM
  #181  
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it's not the race, it's the journey.........quit beating up on urself ( there will always some one else around to do that lol) soooo what, really, does life end because u did not get a project done?!? Womem put to much pressure on themselves ( me included ) to be super-woman....guess what, it also will make us unhappy women when we either fail or just get to worn out to cope. take a deep breath, take a good break, and tell that husband to go get pizza for supper, that ur tired and done for the day... and tell him to stay away from ur stuff!
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Old 11-06-2010, 12:07 PM
  #182  
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Originally Posted by noveltyjunkie
Some thoughts for you:

Originally Posted by fabrichore
The other day I was talking to my other half about my sewing room, blahblahblah,
I am guessing there is a quite a bit behind that blahblahblah.... and maybe you were just having a bad day and you were wanting your other half to give you a hug and instead (being a man)

Originally Posted by fabrichore
anyway he said "I don't think you are a quilter, I think you just like to collect fabric",
Now that was just him trying to think of something useful to say. He failed, because that it really not a useful thing to say at all. Bless him, he can't help his male brain. You know that he forgot he had said this as soon as it was out of his mouth, while you are stewing over it- we've all been there!

Originally Posted by fabrichore
and I had to stop and think about it, recently I have been having a hard time getting into the sewing room ( a new sewing room mind you) and sitting there and completeing anything,
I am sorry you have been having a hard time getting into your room, but can I just stop you on the "completing anything" bit? Have a look at your contract and see if it says you have to complete things. Woops- no contract? There you go then. You don't have to complete anything. Personally, I am a great starter, and I enjoy that. I have several things on the go, and for me it is all about doing what I feel like doing when I can grab a few minutes to sew. Completing things is not necessarily what it is about for me. I complete plenty at work. If you are not like that with your hobby, that is OK. (If you really value completing things, I advise you to pick something super easy- a Christmas bauble perhaps?)

Originally Posted by fabrichore
I have many ideas and thoughts
Congratulations- you are a creative person. There are millions of people in the world who have very few ideas. So you are ahead of the pack on that one.

Originally Posted by fabrichore
but nothing ever materilizes...
Your ideas materialise! One of my great pleasures is to close my eyes at night and visualise things. They don't materialise either, but I still enjoy it!

Originally Posted by fabrichore
I make a mistake and I have to pull it all out and do again and I find myself losing interest really quickly,
OK, this is an interesting one. Can you define losing interest? Is it that you just don't want the thing anymore, or that you don't want to work to get it, or that you lose confidence that the person you are making it for will like it, or you have chosen a project the needs speciliased skills, or what?

Originally Posted by fabrichore
I do like to sew and make pretty things, I am new to quilting and have made two quilts and some pillows but I do not know what my problem is
Sorry, let me check here, these would be completed projects? So you have actually completed two whole quilts, plus pillows? So in what way do your projects not materialise?

Originally Posted by fabrichore
, I have been struggling with my son lately
That is draining. It doesn't leave much energy for other stuff at the moment.

Originally Posted by fabrichore
but I am not going to blame him for my Inadequacies,
Oh look- a Capital Letter! I is for..... Inadequacies. Lets look at that one. Take out your contract again, the one about being a perfect wife, mother, homemaker, employee, daughter, neighbour- yeah, that one- the one you wrote yourself. Have a look under Inadequacies and see what you put in there. Look evberyone- there is a whole section on being Martha Stewart! (without the prison record). Sheesh- would you let anyone else talk to you like you are talking to yourself? If anyone else had come up with that list would you take it? So, why are you taking it from yourself? Take out the whiteout/tippex/correction fluid and remove some of those Martha clauses from your contract. While you are at it, write in some extra clauses about rewards and recognition for all the great stuff you achieve, (including having all those great ideas, and not being in jail)

Originally Posted by fabrichore
I work all day and it takes an hour to get home, so by the time I get home I do not want to do anything
And this would be unusual how?

Originally Posted by fabrichore
,,,my mom would call it lazy
Hi Mom! Come in and pull up a chair! Now Mom, we all know how hard it was in your day and you didn't have all those machines, microwaves, disposable diapers, mobile phones, etc, but you know what? You also did not have to commute two hours a day and hold down a full time job as well as being the perfect wife and homemaker and dealing with all those new messages we get from the media now. So, butt out. You have no idea what you are talking about so just stop. You may be bitter that your daughter appears to have it easier than you did, but she doesn't- she has worries you don't even understand. And even if she did have it easy, that would be something to celebrate, so stop being so miserable and keep your opinions to yourself. (Now you can leave, we are busy talking here.)

Originally Posted by fabrichore
I am trying very hard not to convince myself I am not capable of doing this whole sewing thing,
Keep trying, sister!

Originally Posted by fabrichore
I love fabric, I love color,
Two really good reasons to collect fabric! You could have told your OH this when he made his comment about you being a fabric collector- there is nothing wrong with being a fabric collector, if it makes your heart sing.(And if you can afford it, but hey, you go to work, so you can afford some fabric)

Originally Posted by fabrichore
and I really do like to sew and create,
We do too! Group Huuuuuuug!

Originally Posted by fabrichore
so what in the world is wrong with me.... :cry:
Nothing fundamental. I would say you are stressed out and tired and putting pressure on yourself. Somehow your hobby, which is supposed to be fun, has become just another chore. Take some time to do something that is pure fun, try to recharge your batteries a little, and see if you feel better.
Oh my gosh! Noveltyjunkie I love how you set up your reply! I feel better! Thank you! I have a sketch book I keep ideas in. I think I just might put more ideas in it until I feel my old self again.
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Old 11-06-2010, 01:50 PM
  #183  
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i make a lot of quilts but am also interested in new or old blocks so i often just make a block or more that i find interesting and put them aside for use later then i know i at least created something that day. however, i am retired and not under a lot of stress. i have been where you are and sympathize with you but all i can advize is RELAX!!! you are not punching a time clock for quilting.
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Old 11-06-2010, 02:19 PM
  #184  
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Sometimes, probably more frequently than not, I just like to use my space to dream about what I'll make one day. I enjoy just sitting in the room with my fabrics and finger thru them. It's like rediscovering lost treasures because I've forgotten how truly beautiful some in particular are. No guilt, no shame.

I hope you enjoy it for all it's worth the sketches you'll be adding. And I hope too you'll be feeling better and more relaxed. :thumbup:
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Old 11-06-2010, 03:24 PM
  #185  
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Your active life demands a lot from you, set your priorities --your physical mental and spiritual health..should come 1st so you can do those necessary and wonderful things for your family; husband and son. I recently read a little book "Too Many Irons in the Fire..." I f you have a chance to find it, I think you'll enjoy the humor and see ways to get the balance you may be looking for. All of us have been in your shoes and you too will survive. God bless
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Old 11-06-2010, 03:24 PM
  #186  
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Your active life demands a lot from you, set your priorities --your physical mental and spiritual health..should come 1st so you can do those necessary and wonderful things for your family; husband and son. I recently read a little book "Too Many Irons in the Fire..." I f you have a chance to find it, I think you'll enjoy the humor and see ways to get the balance you may be looking for. All of us have been in your shoes and you too will survive. God bless
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Old 11-06-2010, 03:29 PM
  #187  
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My mother only quilted in the winter months she was to busy in the summer. I like you have a busy life all though I don't have the long drive i live 5 minutes away. But My mom is gone dad basically takes care of his self and still drives but I try to spend as much time with him as possible my kids are grown but one still lives with me I do all the work here at the house inside and most of the outside. I am drawn to fabric as well Have one quilt top done, I have the back but haven't put it together I have the batting, but no time to do anything with it one day I will get there.
I crochet as well and spend some time on that I don't plan my project I pick my colors and design as I crochet and I believe thats where my problem is. I don't think anyone has a right to say your not a quilter you finished two and I am still on my first been a year in the making and the top has been done a while, so don't worry you'll get there its for relaxation and fun not stress and worry. we learn from our mistakes.
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Old 11-06-2010, 04:47 PM
  #188  
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Originally Posted by quiltsRfun
I try to set small goals. Then when I go to bed at night instead of beating myself up for what I didn't do that day, I congratulate myself on what I've accomplished. Even if the list is small it makes me feel better about myself.
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Old 11-06-2010, 04:58 PM
  #189  
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You sound a bit more than "tired" to me; run down and perhaps a wee bit depressed, and defintely overwhelmed. Let's see, you work full time, you are dealing with an adolescent(?) boy, a critical husband who says you are not a quilter after having made TWO quilts, and a mother who calls you LAZY???? Enjoy your sewing room, enjoy your fabric, even if you never sew another stich, and don't waste another second of your life feeling guilty or bad about it, you have just as much right as anyone else to a little luxury and a little idleness. Heck, I live alone, I only need to work part time, and I have someone who come in a couple of times a week to help with the housework -- and I fancy myself a quilter, I have a bunch of old shirts and pants of my son's when he was a child, all nicely cut up, ready to make a quilt, a ridiculously expensive machine at the ready, and I get a great deal of fun looking at the wonderful ideas on this board every day -- but I have never ever sewed one single quilt, not one -- so for it is worth, this abjectly lazy woman thinks you are incredible!
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Old 11-06-2010, 05:21 PM
  #190  
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I work full time as well and some days just visit my fabric when I iron my clothes for work in the am. My belief is Family First and then all else works out. Prayers go out your way.
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