Wunder-Mar

From my daughter: He should NOT have received the $5 back. If he's going to work to pay for the item, take him to the store, show him the price of it and make a deal with grandparents as to how that will be worked off IN ADDITION to doing his regular chores. Restitution needs to be made to BOTH his brother and his grandparents - the punishment only addresses restitution to his grandparents who bought the item. Restitution to his brother by ACTS, not just a verbal apology, still needs to be addressed.

Wunder-Mar

Question from me regarding those family members who gave you flack for what you were trying to teach: How do THEIR children handle anger, restitution and money?

Shari1967

This isn't just a money/toy issue - this is an anger issue in an 8 year old. That needs to be addressed, if not already and he needs to be taught how to handle his anger. We all have anger, even as adults but children who never learn how to handle it are the adults who grow up to do much worse things than break a toy. I would try to get to the root of what made him angry to begin with to want to break a toy of his brothers.
I wouldn't give him the money back either. Doesn't work like that in real life and honestly at 8 years old I think they understand a lot more than what adults want to think they understand.

quilt crazee

My kids said I had TOO MANY rules so @ about 12, told them we'd have only 1 rule--"YOU ARE RESPONIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS"-didn't take them long to realize, - that pretty much covers it!

Nancy O.

I agree, you are doing the right punishment for his actions. I have 4 grandkids, 9,11,12,15. You do have to teach them right from wrong. Sometimes parents are both working and don't have the time or energy to correct their actions. I definitely think you are handling it in the right way. They must learn how to deal with their anger.

Maride

I think you did the right thing, but I would have taken it a step further by making him understand how much money you were talking about. I have an eight year old son and I make sure he understands these things. We are very tight with money now a days but even when we were both working and well off, he knew that he doesn't get everything he wants. He appreciates a trip to McDonalds because he knows how much money it is. He is the only kid in his class that didn't get a video game fir Christmas, but this is not due to the money problems, but rather to the fact that I chose to raise my kids without them. My daughter is 23 and never had one. My 17 year old had one and became isolated and would use that thing everywhere. When it "broke" (I decided when it broke) he became a new person. My little one has never had one and will never unless he gets it himself. My older ones now have phones and stuff but they are so careful about it that they don't even let me see them texting.

It is up to us to teach our kids acceptable behavior and you are doing a great job as a Grandma by teaching him rather than just give him things and reward bad behavior. Kudos to you.

By the way, my little one doesn't feel isolated or singled out by not having a video game. He watches TV and he has a computer just to watch movies I choose for him. He has watched classics none of his friends know exist and he can communicate verbally very well with a great vocabulary. I also give him many visual experiences by going places and see things first hand. If he tries to talk to me about something he saw on TV it has to be real, not fantasy.

Kathy46

I always found that if we give children a choice for a misdeed, they will learn responsibility and compassion. I wholeheartedly approve and agree with what you did. It is so nice to see a grandparent sticking up for herself and giving a life lesson to a grandchild. Good for you. {hug}

OhSewJoyful

I agree with everyone! That's part of what is wrong with children/adults today... not enough discipline.

neeng

I think it was appropriate -- if it was an accident, that's one thing. But to do it deliberately deserves a consequence and this was fair.

fivepaws

You were right on!!!