False Praise
04-26-2011, 08:43 AM
#124
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ilion, NY
Posts: 1,293
Originally Posted by np3
If they haven't asked for help on improving their skills, then don't offer it. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all. It may not look right to you, but it looks right to them and that is all that counts. It may not be your color choices, but it was theirs.
I like what I like and I don't particularly care about the rules on color choices or contrast. If I am making a gift for someone, then I care about what they like, even if it isn't my style.
I like what I like and I don't particularly care about the rules on color choices or contrast. If I am making a gift for someone, then I care about what they like, even if it isn't my style.
I agree 100%! If you dont have something nice to say.... dont say anything! If they ask for honest opinions ... then give them.... but do it in a PM rather than embarrasing them on the board! If they ask for help in a project; that is when we should give them our suggestions/opinions. As it has been said over and over; "our quilt; our style, no rules!" Skill comes from practice and if they are embarrased they may give up!
I was on another board a couple of years ago and they were a bunch of quilting snobs and nasty quilt police! They thought nothing of totally dissing someones work on the message board and it was awful! (I never posted pics because I didnt want to chance the embarrasment the others had!)
Just an example of how bad they were..... I joined in a round robin before I realized how nasty they were and when I received the top I was to work on; there was a note in it from the previous round quilter that said;
I hope you are able to continue on this; I had to totally remove and redo ________'s row before I could do anything with it!!!!
That turned me right off! The point of a round robin is to end up with a quilt that is a combination of the whole group's efforts. Not what one person thinks it should be!!
What I LOVE about this board is the friendliness and compassion for everyone on it. And how everyone is encouraged to join in no matter what their level of skill is.
OK...enuf said.
I LOVE THIS BOARD!!!!!!
04-26-2011, 08:49 AM
#125
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Mesa & Forest Lakes, AZ
Posts: 1,481
Originally Posted by dakotamaid
I think it is the same as any praise, I try to find something good to say about the color, the pattern, the size,etc. Sometimes it is difficult but I try.:):)
04-26-2011, 08:57 AM
#126
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Oceanside, CA
Posts: 847
That's my philosphy, unless someone comes out and says be truthful. Then I find one thing I can comment on that I believe will help and not hurt. I'm not an expert and I am sure that I have color combinations or designs that would cause someone would say "what on earth was she thinking about!" We can all go to classes and get the instructor's opinion.. just my comments.
04-26-2011, 09:08 AM
#127
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Yakima, WA
Posts: 383
Originally Posted by JanieW
I read the quilt police thread and some of the comments made me think about the issue of giving false praise.
When someone has made a quilt that is poorly put together or there isn't enough contrast with colour choices, or it just plain doesn't look right, are we being fair by complimenting them?
I don't believe in embarrassing a person by pointing out mistakes or telling them that they have to do it the "right" way. I don't believe in telling someone their work is lovely when it isn't. Being positive and encouraging is essential, but damning with faint praise is harmful.
Where is the line between trying to help someone improve their skills and being the dreaded hated quilt police?
When someone has made a quilt that is poorly put together or there isn't enough contrast with colour choices, or it just plain doesn't look right, are we being fair by complimenting them?
I don't believe in embarrassing a person by pointing out mistakes or telling them that they have to do it the "right" way. I don't believe in telling someone their work is lovely when it isn't. Being positive and encouraging is essential, but damning with faint praise is harmful.
Where is the line between trying to help someone improve their skills and being the dreaded hated quilt police?
04-26-2011, 09:12 AM
#128
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: North Ogden, Utah
Posts: 545
I won't give FALSE praise- I won't say that it's a wonderful choice of colors if it isn't, or things that are outright lies. If I think the project is awful, I won't comment on it. But most of the time, I can say something truthful about it- like "that is a pattern I want to try."
BUT, there is a time a place for correction, and believe me, it's only with a "friend" that is really close. I have a friend like that- we can each banter back and forth about the mistakes, color choices, etc, but I would be totally heartbroken if a total stranger tried to do it to me!!!
So, remember that, Quilt Police- if you are not that person's friend first, you have NO PLACE to be the one to offer that correction, unless the person placed the question that they know they are doing something wrong and are specifically asking the community for help.
BUT, there is a time a place for correction, and believe me, it's only with a "friend" that is really close. I have a friend like that- we can each banter back and forth about the mistakes, color choices, etc, but I would be totally heartbroken if a total stranger tried to do it to me!!!
So, remember that, Quilt Police- if you are not that person's friend first, you have NO PLACE to be the one to offer that correction, unless the person placed the question that they know they are doing something wrong and are specifically asking the community for help.
04-26-2011, 09:14 AM
#129
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 188
I sometimes like one block or quilt in a series much better than the others. When that happens I pm the person. Otherwise the other posters will have hurt feelings. If I really hate a quilt or block I don't post.
When I was showing off the first quilt top I designed and pieced all by myself (and I was very proud of it), I mentioned that two of my blocks weren't exactly straight across from each other on either side of the sashing. One of the people that had looked at it when I displayed it said, "I noticed that." Here I was hoping this 1/2 inch difference was lost in the overall wonderfulness of the design. (Each block was 15" square separated by 5" of sashing all around.) I wish she had kept quiet. Now I am wishing I had corrected it, even though it would have meant repositioning every block in that lengthwise strip. Now it seems like this is a glaring error and I am not as proud of the quilt as I was.
I will never point out any errors in any other quilt I make in the future.
When I was showing off the first quilt top I designed and pieced all by myself (and I was very proud of it), I mentioned that two of my blocks weren't exactly straight across from each other on either side of the sashing. One of the people that had looked at it when I displayed it said, "I noticed that." Here I was hoping this 1/2 inch difference was lost in the overall wonderfulness of the design. (Each block was 15" square separated by 5" of sashing all around.) I wish she had kept quiet. Now I am wishing I had corrected it, even though it would have meant repositioning every block in that lengthwise strip. Now it seems like this is a glaring error and I am not as proud of the quilt as I was.
I will never point out any errors in any other quilt I make in the future.
04-26-2011, 09:18 AM
#130
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 1,124
Originally Posted by cctx.
Originally Posted by np3
Originally Posted by Maia B
Well, in person, things can be said gently, gauging the reaction of the quilt maker, to encourage and guide; or one may be able to see that even honest, gentle, constructive criticism will squash the budding artist, and thus only offer honest praise for what IS right. But online, even totally correct and kindly-phrased criticism can hurt and discourage. Tone, circumstances, so much cannot be conveyed online, so unless someone is asking for an opinion or frank assessment, I either praise what I honestly like, or move on without comment. I LOVE that this board is warm, kind, friendly, and non-judgmental 99.9% of the time. Other boards are not always so, and it's a shame. Let's protect what we are so fortunate to have here.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
TexasGurl
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
21
09-20-2013 06:30 PM
FERSID
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
11
03-25-2011 04:16 AM
