Courtesy & good manners: lost arts?
07-16-2011, 06:45 AM
#51
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,116
A friend of mine, who lives in our largest city, came to visit me and commented on how friendly the people in my city were. He was amazed that they actually said 'good morning ' to him. He has lived in the UK as well and we discussed this but still have no answer.People are busy here too but we do generally greet people as we walk by.
07-16-2011, 06:48 AM
#52
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 471
[quote=SharBear]I think that parents need to be PARENTS - they are so busy trying to be best friends with their children that they fail to teach them right from wrong or good manners.
That is my soapbox opinion also. I think some parents don't want to commit the time needed to rear children to be responsible polite adults. Too much work. I know that there are many who ARE doing the job, but alas, there are way too many who are NOT.
That is my soapbox opinion also. I think some parents don't want to commit the time needed to rear children to be responsible polite adults. Too much work. I know that there are many who ARE doing the job, but alas, there are way too many who are NOT.
07-16-2011, 07:25 AM
#53
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central Ca
Posts: 2,598
Interesting topic, have enjoyed the opinions.
We were taught manners at home, reinforced at school.
Reminds me of a conversation had with someone a while back, this persons language was rough lots of F's B's etc. ask why used those words constantly, the reason was that's what I heard growing up, my responce was but your an adult you know better..... Didn't have much to say to that, that person did cut back on the rough language after that.
Lucky that most of the children, in my world are taught better even at school from the small classes up, it teaches and practices the Pilars, really helps!! This is a highly, diverse area this helped create a Great School and Sucessful students with solid GPA's
We were taught manners at home, reinforced at school.
Reminds me of a conversation had with someone a while back, this persons language was rough lots of F's B's etc. ask why used those words constantly, the reason was that's what I heard growing up, my responce was but your an adult you know better..... Didn't have much to say to that, that person did cut back on the rough language after that.
Lucky that most of the children, in my world are taught better even at school from the small classes up, it teaches and practices the Pilars, really helps!! This is a highly, diverse area this helped create a Great School and Sucessful students with solid GPA's
07-16-2011, 07:36 AM
#54
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Natchez, Ms
Posts: 1,482
AMEN!!! I raised my 2 the way I was raised and tried to do the same with grandchildren. It pays off!! 2 kids who have made me very proud and 1 GD in military, 1 loving GD age 6 and GS, 9, who is all A honor roll, Soar for gifted children, opens doors for ladies, yes/no madam or sir, please/thank you, helps older persons pack grocery and load them, refuses money for his help, turned in [2] purses found at Walmart and 1 credit card.
YES, the old way is the best and it pays off in the future. It breaks my heart to see some of the younger generation so lost and ill mannered!!!!
YES, the old way is the best and it pays off in the future. It breaks my heart to see some of the younger generation so lost and ill mannered!!!!
07-16-2011, 07:53 AM
#55
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 706
Sorry to say- teachers in many cases have lost their manners as well. We are constantly stopped and our kids praised by strangers for their manners- please, thankyou, may I and so on. They open doors for stangers, help pick up dropped items for someone, look a waitress in the eye and thank her, volunteer when there is something to be done ( other then at home) and so on- this needs to be something we teach even as strangers- it may be the only time they learn it
07-16-2011, 08:26 AM
#56
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Mena, Arkansas
Posts: 164
I totally agree that people have thrown manners and courtesy out the door. I have a good example of this--2 years ago I made a western style shirt for a young man that my husband works with and he never even acknowledged my efforts. I realize that he has a physical disability, but the others at my husband's job that have disabilities do express their gratefulness as to any home-made gifts. Jeanniebelle
07-16-2011, 08:46 AM
#57
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by Hen3rietta
I was recently reading another post relating yet another instance of a quilter making something with love and affection and yes, gorgeous!, as a gift and having it treated as though it were just another "thing" and this got me to thinking about courtesy and good manners. I think it is the unintentional or thoughtless dismissal of someone's work, gift or time that is the worst offense of all.
When I was growing up, please and thank you were drilled into me. It didn't matter if I was handed a plate of abhorrent food at a friend's house. You said thank you, ate all of it and complimented the cook on the meal, if necessary with ambivalent words. What you didn't do, ever, was make anyone feel that whatever they had done for you was without interest or merit. If someone gave you a gift, you found something nice to say about it even if it would reside in the deepest recesses of the attic and only be brought out for visits from the donor.
There were times when I'm sure my friend's mother would recognize that I had trouble eating the dish set before me, or a friend realized that the gift was really inappropriate after all, but good manners and courtesy, were the grease that allowed us to get past that and save face all around without hurting each other's feelings and recognizing a spirit of generosity in each of us.
It seems that while society has become PC, all inclusive and non-discriminatory, it has lost the art of just getting along. It would be nice if parents and schools would start teaching manners along with everything else.
When I was growing up, please and thank you were drilled into me. It didn't matter if I was handed a plate of abhorrent food at a friend's house. You said thank you, ate all of it and complimented the cook on the meal, if necessary with ambivalent words. What you didn't do, ever, was make anyone feel that whatever they had done for you was without interest or merit. If someone gave you a gift, you found something nice to say about it even if it would reside in the deepest recesses of the attic and only be brought out for visits from the donor.
There were times when I'm sure my friend's mother would recognize that I had trouble eating the dish set before me, or a friend realized that the gift was really inappropriate after all, but good manners and courtesy, were the grease that allowed us to get past that and save face all around without hurting each other's feelings and recognizing a spirit of generosity in each of us.
It seems that while society has become PC, all inclusive and non-discriminatory, it has lost the art of just getting along. It would be nice if parents and schools would start teaching manners along with everything else.
07-16-2011, 08:55 AM
#58
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 626
At the doctor's office last week, all of the chairs were full of patient's waiting for their appointments. An elderly man came in and I wondered if anyone would give him their seat. A young man arose quickly and gave his seat to the old gentleman. I said to the young man, "That is a good thing you just did. That kind of respect is rare these days." The smile across his face was quite nice.
07-16-2011, 09:01 AM
#59
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,625
I just think people are in to much of a hurry to rememeber to use them if they were taught them. I find this to be true with young folk as well as even older folk. I had an older gentelman let a door slam in my face and he was looking right at me. Unless he was blind, he saw me because he smiled. Rude. I especially find this in stores. It is like people think a shopping cart gives them a license to barge through without looking or even saying excuse me. I tried to teach my boys to be respectful of elders and women. Open a door for them or allow them to go first, that couple extra seconds isn't going to kill them. I know they still do when I'm around, can't vouch for them when i'm not, but I like to think they do.
07-16-2011, 09:12 AM
#60
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Long Island, N.Y.
Posts: 1,832
When my son had his first experience eating lunch in a school lunch room he was so excited and told me all about it. I asked if he remembered to say "Thank you" to the ladies who helped him. He answered "No, Mom, you don't say
'thank you' in school." And that was 37 years ago. Now he's a school teacher and manners and courtesy are very important in his classroom.
'thank you' in school." And that was 37 years ago. Now he's a school teacher and manners and courtesy are very important in his classroom.
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