irishrose

Rita's mom, I need to find the resolve to get this weight off, too. When you closer to the end, it's easy to let it slide. I'm not a fan of the word willpower - what is the state we're in now? Won'tpower??

Things haven't been as good as they could be around here. Any time you are dealing with a large number of related people, feelings get ruffled. A large number - I have five children, four in law children (one deceased, sadly), twelve grandchildren, six, soon to be seven, in law grandchildren and seven great grandchildren, plus an ex-husband who doesn't understand why he isn't included when he's the one who chose gambling over us. Trying to keep 24 people happy all at once can be interesting.

Thank you for the compliments. Stacey was a beautiful bride - I am not and have never been beautiful, but it's okay. The dress was a last minute replacement when the weather turned very warm. It's amazing what's in the back of my closet. The real beauty is the 16 year old who is of Irish/Scottish and Hispanic descent. The nice thing is that she's as good as she is pretty.

I wish it were 24 hours from now. Tomorrow is the first time I will have seen my friend since he became my ex-friend. Lord, it sounds like I'm a 16 year old. Ah, well, we are both adults. It may be uncomfortable for a few minutes, but I will survive.

Xylie55

Well,that's just it,I don't have the energy,and I'm really not a go-getter.That's why I'm Pooped out and drained.I mean,when things like this happens,we can't just sit in 110 degree heat.It has to be fixed,no getting around it.It's a sad thing to live in a neighborhood of people,some guys,but they don't know squat,they just pick up the phone and call a repair man at $100. just to drive out here,then the rest on top of that.Their nice people,but are city folks and most came from San Diego.They don't know how to do these things,I do because I grew up that way.We always fixed our own things.And that's why Nita,my neighbor called me,she knew I would be her best bet.Most are like those 2 guys standing there when I got there.You should of seen there eyes tho when I got her going.It was priceless!

pinsninks

You have just described me to a "T"...I have to figure out for myself why I don't feel like I am worthy of good and positive things in Life. I do alot of 'self-sabatoging'-in my thinking and in my doing. I can do pretty good with the weight loss and then, before I know what happened, I've just undone my hard work and am back to square one. This wk I feel I am finally back on track again and have been 'good'.

nancia

i went thru that whole feminism movement in the 60's and 70's, and i was bound and determined i would be able to do anything that didn't use a penis as a tool. so i fixed electric, plumbing. checkbook, plants, construction and later learned welding. but i also retained the power of a smile. i figured being liberated didn't mean i 'had' to do everything myself, it just meant i 'could' do it all. one of my guy friends told me i was the most conveniently liberated woman he knew. i could/ would do anything i chose to do and smiled at others and asked them to do the things i didn't want to do. well, what's the liberation in being locked into doing more things? there is a big difference in being able to do something and choosing not to, and being told you can't do it because you lack anatomy. never saw a guy pull out his whatsis to fix a car, have you?
xylie, you do these things because you know how and you need to. want to doesn't come into it, i bet. too bad those young guys aren't interested in learning survival skills. the power goes out, you have to rely on yourself, not your smart phone! so many skills are being taught to fewer and fewer people. they won't be totally lost because every generation has a group like us that take pride in being able to create, and be self-reliant. i feel bad for those who only feel the need to recharge their phones. it feels satisfying to say ' i did that'. and when we lose all of our extra weight we will be able to look back in pride and say 'i did that!' a few indiscretions may slow us but they can't stop us! i am losing. i am in control. i CAN do this! because i choose to!

Xylie55

Well,I know your pretty.Irishrose is a pretty name,the fact you picked it says you know what pretty is.And you like pretty things,so know your pretty already.You have a pretty spirit and soul.I bet when you see your friend,you'll have a good time and forget all about the butterflies.

pinsninks

Missy, your purses and journals are 'stinkin' cute', that means very, very cute. Your fabrics are so pretty-great combos. I think they would be a good seller. Thank you for showing us your crafty side.

Xylie55

Well,you were right,that's just what we needed.It did bring a smile to my face.They are such a nice looking bunch.The bride is georgeous,and that groom is handsome.They do make a great couple.May they have a blessed and happy long life together.

Xylie55

UMM,I don't know who told you you were worthless,but they were wrong.God don't make mistakes.Nor does he make anything worthless.So obviously,who ever told you that,or where ever you got that from,didn't know a bean from a rock.And because they didn't,they had no business telling you any such a thing.They were wrong.You are valuble,and worth the life of Jesus.He has evey hair on your head numbered.He formed you in the womb.He died for you.He made us all unique,and no 2 dna's are alike.There is not another Karen like you out there any where.You are the only one.And NO one has any right telling you ANY different.It's a lie to make you feel like you do.And you don't ever have to go around feeling like your a no body,or no body cares.That's a lie,your children love you.Your husband loves you,your brother loves you.I love you.We ALL here on this board love you for who you are,not what others think of you.It doesn't MATTER what others think.It matters what you believe,and what kind of an example you are setting for your kids.Do you want them to grow up thinking they are nothing?I wouldn't,nor would I even give them the slightest hint I was worthless and a no-body.You are a somebody.Your a mom,your a wife,your a friend,neighbor,co-worker.You are somebody to be very proud of.You are somebody,raise your head up high and strut down the road of life being proud of who you are,and what you have accomplished,skipping and singing.It will set you free.You live your life happy.I am somebody.I am valuable and worth saving.Start telling yourself that.Pretty soon,you will believe it and see a change,and this heavy baggage you been packing around will fall off and set you free for once in your life.Do it for yourself,like I am.Love yourself.Get to know yourself and who you really are.You been so busy working,being a mom,wife,daughter,sister,that you lost yourself somewhere along the way.You forgot about yourself,and let other outside negative influences take over and run roughshod over your life.Don't do that,push back and take control of your own life and say I'm not going to take this any more,I am somebody,and I am worth a life.Someone died just for me,so I am very valuable to someone I know.And you are.Very very valuable.Don't ever let any one ever tell you that again.And at 250,I wasn't left out,or stared at,or any thing.There is bigger people than I was everywhere all around me in town.So,no body really cared.And in today's society,lets face it,there is bigger than you too in a lot of places and in town,at the malls,etc.So,I don't really think any body was making bad thoughts towards you.I think you are just so beat down you automatically think the worst,and it may not even a been that.Or it could of,but in todays society,with all the obese people around,I kinda doubt it.Or at least no body said a word to me,that I was aware of.Of course I wasn't "looking" to see if they was or not,cause quite frankly,I don't give a squat what other people think.Or say.or do.As long as their nice to me,I bend over backwards for them.Most people are good people and are nice.Some are jerks,but hey,got to have some to keep things spiced up I guess.And on our toes.And even if they did say something about my fat,I'd tell them,"Ya,but I can lose weight,you can't do anything about being ugly"......Now,lets get er done and get back on these diets,and get back on track.We still got a long ways to go yet.And we're all in it together,going toward the same goal.We all need each other to lean on if we're going to make it any distance.I plan on getting at least my 8 pounds off this month still.So,good luck Karen,I know you can do it.Your brave,and strong,you can do this.You done it before.So,hang in there!We can do it!!!!!!

Xylie55

Well we are all not having a good month.I'm beginning to think it's because it's hotter than heck,plus we did start the month off with a celebration.Those 2 facts combined,makes a pop sound good,ice cream sound good,potato salad sound good,hot dogs,chips,etc.Lets face it,it all sounds good when we're hotter than heck.And I also think we all been working so hard and losing so much weight,for quite a while now,that some times we just need a break.And we do.I always get back on and keep going tho afterwards.That's been my biggest weapon against losing weight,is if I slip,not a huge biggy,as long as I catch it,acknowlege it,and continue on and keep going.If I'd a gave up on the 1st slip,I'd be still there at 250,or even 350 by now if not more.It slips up on you before you even realize it.I know.But am still happy with what we all have done here on the board.And like somebody said,sometimes if we get a bug to eat something,better to eat it and get it out of our system,than to binge on it and gain it all back.At least I feel that way.Hubby don't like pizza.and I LOVE it.So,don't get it.I use to get at least 1 or 2 a yr,but haven't had any for yrs now.From the Pizza Hut especially.YUMMMMMM!Salivating thinking about it.Anyway,I know I need to lose weight worse,so instead made a deal with myself.For every 20 pounds I lose,I make a steak dinner.And I love steak.Of course I could have it a little more,but is more of a challenge and a prod for me,if I say,NO,not until you lose the 20 pounds.Then I reward myself.Maybe next time,I'll get a Pizza,never even thought about that.Now,that would motivate me to lose the weight.I think if you did that too with something you liked,you would stay focused better.Tell yourself,ok for every {how ever many pounds} I get to have or get a { ? }.What ever it is you want.Maybe to see Kathy,now that should keep you on track.Or a nice dinner,or quilt stuff.Just anything to get and keep you motivated.It works for me.{99% of the time}Besides,I know you aren't going to gain a bunch back,your dr's will adjust your bag if need be.And being home alone,we do tend to "eat what we want,because no body's looking" right?Well,not right,because you were looking.You noticed,and did something about it.You realized it,acknowledged it,and got back on track.And that's the real key to losing weight,is sticking with it no matter what.The "no matter what" is the slips,temptations,not giving in,giving in sometimes,but not very often,and less as you go and get more off and see results.It DOES get a little easier if you stay on track,it's when I start and stop I have problems,then it's like I got to start all over again.And that's ok too,but is just easier for me if I stay on point.Then I don't have to go through all that just starting crap over and over and over.And I find I do better when I plan my meals out for every day and count the calories.Calories DO<DO<DO<matter.It took me a long time to learn that.Less calories = losing weight,but too few,and we gain.Have to find what works and stay on it.How did mj lose her 40 pounds?Too bad she couldn't go on that spirutien,that stuff would melt the weight off,even if she's in a wheel-chair.I may have to go on it for 3 weeks myself.At least it would take me down to probably 145 by September.Now that would be nice.Anyway,I'm going to get back on track and keep going.I'm determined and bullheaded enough,I'll do it.And I know I can do it,Just as you know your doing it.You see your end goal,as I do.I know where I'm going,and where I need to be.It's a long road,but one worth traveling on.We can do it the hard way,or the easy way.Easy way is staying with it and seeing results.The hard way is doing what I'm doing and see-sawing,and teetering all over the place.Not good.I need to see results and quite playing around.We're 17 days in the month,and I should of already been down to 150,not back up to 170.So,I am going to work extra hard starting tomorrow.I want 5 pounds off by the end of this coming week.And I will post any loss as it goes.You do the same so we can keep an eye on each other.Good luck,and have fun on your trip.All libraries have computers too,but think your aunt will let you use hers as a guest,or do what I did.The neighbor kid had a fire fighter exam,and needed a computer,so I just made him an account with his name on it and had him put in his own password,so if he ever needs it again,it's here for him.Good luck Missy,and I know you can do it,even with out the surgery,as you already have.

JHolm

Missy - I know you care deeply for those that are hurting and God knows to. I would simply pray everyday for your ex MIL and the family and let God take care of them. I don't think you need to make contact with them and open old wounds for you or your ex and his family. Let God take care of them. Anyone who knows you, really knows you knows you care and will be praying for them. God Bless in whatever decision that you make.