Rosie the "Ripper"

When hubby and I took our first daughter to school (5 hrs. away) we both cried all the way home and not a word was said. One week later she surprised us by coming home in a truck with Fred for the weekend - couldn't pass up the free ride with newly made friend! Fred's truck broke down and couldn't get back till it was fixed. We had to fly her back on Sunday at GREAT EXPENSE! That was the end of my crying. Told her to stay there until Thanksgiving!

This is your chance to be creative. Send packages of goodies for different reasons - ground hog day, flag day, homeless animals day, whatever. Decorate package for mailing according to celebration. They and their friends will remember this for years to come. My daughter is now 36 yrs old and still brings up the memories. None of her friends got pkgs. and they used to look forward to her getting another one.

With all the cell phones and texting and e-mails, no one gets letters any more so send little notes saying you are thinking about him.

Remind him of birthdays of family and relatives so he can call or send a card. They never remember things like this. Give him a calendar with occasions and dates filled in as a reminder too. A little note or call to that person from him will go a long way.

Make it FUN for yourself. I had a great time thinking of different ways to "keep in touch" but not be intrusive in their new adventure.

I did this for my other daughter too. They are six years apart, live a thousand miles away from one another, and still keep in touch with each other weekly. They are both married but put one week aside each year to "vacation" together at some far off place, usually a beach, where they can just talk and laugh and relax.

They will love you for it and remember these small things for the rest of their life. Ask me how I know.

Chin up!!! This could be FUN!!

(((((HUGGS)))))))

grammysharon

It is hard to send a child out into the world(college). You will miss him for sure but then you will figure out that you can do something you haven't had time to do or some travel, what ever you like to do without worrying. He will probably be home sick too!! :lol: :wink: :lol:

BluegrassGurl

I know exactly what you mean. I have 2 children (boy and girl) and it was exciting when they were off to college but sad too.... especially when my baby girl went out to the big world.

When you have been used to "caring" for another person each and every day of their life... it is tough to all of a sudden have it stop.

There are a few things I encourage you to do:

1) Volunteer at a non-for-profit organization. It will help channel the need to help others.

2) Make a concerted effort to discover the new you. You have worked hard to help your son achieve what he has. It is, indeed, a blessing to have your children grow and to become responsible adults with a desire to make their impact to the world. Celebrate your achievement and acknowledge to yourself.... "job well done!".

3) Just because he has ventured on to a new chapter in his life, he will definitely still need you!!!! Be there for him. I'm not sure how far he is from you... but I know that he would appreciate "care" packets from you every now and then (especially during finals).

It is painful to let our babies go.... but we have to... for their benefit... and ours. There is nothing easy about it. But it will be worth it.

BTW... My baby girl just graduated from college last December with a bachelor of science degree in business administration. ;-)

Sending hugs to you!

Joan

Yours is a very normal response and one that I don't think anyone thinks of. I remember when our first child went away to college. The summer before she left was so exciting for both of us. We shopped for linens, clothes and everything that would make her dorm room just perfect. It was like we were planning for a trip. I just never quite understood that it didn't include "me". We drove to her college and got her all settled and I'll never forget driving out of the parking lot with her waving from a second story window. It all hit me like a ton of bricks..... She was now going to college and "I" wasn't part of it at all. I cried all the way home. (about 4 hours) I said at the time that they needed a support group for moms who send kids to college. The kids get all of the attention and recognition after we have spent the last 18 years of our lives worrying about them, caring about them and having them in our lives 24/7. The pain does go away eventually but understand that you are not alone. I sent her little "care" packages with goodies and such---that helped some. But, talking to other moms going through the experience helped the most. It's a good time to start that new quilt, too.

HUGS--Joan--been there, done that 3 times

luvstoquilt

Bless your heart! I so remember what it was like. It happens so fast their growing up. You just have to get busy and be so proud of your son. Bake him some cookies and mail them. I hope you can quilt again soon..come on, just one stitch at a time. Oh, and cry if you want to..I am sure most of us did. I surely did!!!

quiltmom04

I think EVERYONE goes through this when their child goes away. I know I did. Just don't let it go on TOO long! Realize that you've raised him well and his growing up and learning to live on his own is what you wanted for him all along. Good luck!

virgwid

Oh, god help me!!! :P Thank you so much for that! Made me laugh and smile. Love it! No, not enough to do it, but... I have help at work with that. I work in a newborn nursery, so I get to play momma for twelve hours a day, and that is more than enough. As for the candy - somebodies kid is always selling some for something!

Thank you all for all your kind words, stories, empathies, etc. I am doing better today. Probably partially due to the fact that my son, is at this very moment, annoying the heck outa me. He forgot a couple of things, minor things, like his printer, etc. His roommate needed a couple things, so I have a list of their crap in my car ready to deliver to them, and I can't get ahold of him long enough to pin him down on when to deliver them. I am to the point of threatening to bring his cat (who is currently having a very bad attitude about the whole thing), to the dorm and dumping him off there too. :twisted:

Today I am going to do the dishes, clean the kitchen a little bit, and do some quilting and some reading. Course the first book I pick to download from the library yesterday after that romance was the start of a vampire series. Thought it would take my mind off things. Well, not so much. The main character is a freshman in college and the first few chapters were how she was abused and nearly killed in the dorm by a group of really nasty girls. sigh.... probably not the most appropriate book I could have picked! :)

Again, thank you all for all your responses. Virg - trying to dig myself outta this funk!

pignwdw

My baby (daughter) left as an exchange student for Switzerland when she was 17 and was gone a year. After graduation from an out of state university she was in the Peace Corps for 2 years in Uzbekistan. When we took her to the airport for the PC - that was when my husband and I really cried.
Now she travels out of the country so much that it's normal, whatever that was.

gramajo

Time helps

Becka

Good :) :thumbup: