Help with ideas for special baby
09-09-2011, 06:05 AM
#32
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Louisiana
Posts: 255
We also had a friend with a similar situation, very sad but a very special angel indeed. I like the idea of nice little hat and box for keepsakes, i.e. bracelet, etc. is a good idea. I will keep this family in my prayers.
09-09-2011, 06:42 AM
#33
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Central Coast CA
Posts: 1,918
What a soul-rending story! I'm sending prayers for the baby and the parents!
I'm picturing a peaceful meadow, a tree line off to the side, and a single flower in the foreground, a ray of brighter sunshine centered upon it and with its face raised to God...
I'm picturing a peaceful meadow, a tree line off to the side, and a single flower in the foreground, a ray of brighter sunshine centered upon it and with its face raised to God...
09-09-2011, 07:23 AM
#35
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Monmouth, Oregon
Posts: 5,884
I agree! Prayers and hugs coming her way. I had a great-nephew that lived almost three months with just a brain stem, no brain. It is heartbreaking!!!
Originally Posted by AFQSinc
Can you make a tiny bonnet or little gown that the baby can wear while she holds him or her and has some photos taken? Then she can either keep the little item or sadly have the baby buried with it and then she'll have a photo of the baby wearing it.
So heartbreaking. I will pray for her, her little one and the family.
So heartbreaking. I will pray for her, her little one and the family.
09-09-2011, 07:38 AM
#36
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 462
I know someone already suggested this but in the Karen Kingsbury series, one of the babies only lived a short time. A picture frame, handmade afghan and an outfit was given to the mother before the birth. I liked the idea of the bonnet, outfit, special remembrance box, afghan or quilt being made. I have seen cute little booties patterns made from fleece online. What about that? My heart goes out for this family. If you're able and you found out the funeral home in advance, a contribution could be made to their bill. I am out of ideas but my prayers are for this family.
09-09-2011, 07:46 AM
#37
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Boston
Posts: 225
i generally make receiving blankets for new babies of friends and family. they are very simple but always seem to be appreciated. Two pieces of flannel, wrong sides together, one with white background on top and two inches smaller all around, and a brighter/darker/more colorful on the back. I turn the edge fom back to front, mitre the corners and stitch down with one of those decorative stitches you might not ever use. My Bernina makes one alphabet and I write the child's name in about a dozen places over the whitish side.
I made one for a friend's adult daughter who was going through chemo -- with larger squares and the family wrote notes on the empty spaces. she said it was like a warm hug when she took it with her for each treatment.
When she died, the family told me they buried her in it.
I am sure this precious baby already has a name -- you could even embroider it on by hand in several places.
I made one for a friend's adult daughter who was going through chemo -- with larger squares and the family wrote notes on the empty spaces. she said it was like a warm hug when she took it with her for each treatment.
When she died, the family told me they buried her in it.
I am sure this precious baby already has a name -- you could even embroider it on by hand in several places.
09-09-2011, 08:13 AM
#38
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: northern California
Posts: 1,098
Our daughter went through this. When she found out the baby could not live she went thru several stages of grief. One was to ask the doctor to induce the baby at the point when it had the best chance of living. She declared that after weeks of almost continual crying this baby would have only love, singing and NO tears when he was born.
Knowing her and her need to give all she could for this baby I took her out to find the most beautiful baptismal blanket we could find (there was no time to make a quilt) and we found a premie outfit (which was used to dress him for burial) and several small simple blankets to hold him in if he should be born alive. He was, lived an hour and was beautiful. His daddy actually built a beautiful small coffin with a cabinet-maker cousin's help as his gift to his son.
Later when she realized she had a number of trinkets she wanted to keep (as well as a stack of pictures) we bought her a small leather round topped chest (about 1'long x 8"wide x 10" tall).
This was all 12 years ago. When her 10 year old daughter started asking questions about her brother our daughter decided she was old enough to see the pictures, but the tears started coming, "she was crying in big gulps" and they closed the box and said "later".
Bottom line - This is not a person who wanted to have a daily reminder (different people deal with grief in different ways). When we had the coffin size from her husband we mocked up a cardboard and put in it things she wanted to give this baby and it included: a quilt a close college friend had made for the older boy to represent the circle of close friends from those days (the friend replaced it with another quilt almost immediately), a tiny glass candle holder from Finland that was a gift from a girlfriend with whom she spent 3 months in Europe, a small necklace cross which had been her gm's (who had died recently), etc., etc.
I think a small quilt reflecting any religious beliefs would be good (nothing "cute" -- this isn't a "cute" time!). If they use it as a buriel quilt, fine, if they keep it, fine. A home-made frame (cross-stitched?), or a frame quilted over, perhaps with the name on it would be nice, whether it ends up in a small chest, or is kept out in view. For our daughter these things stayed with the baby - her way of giving all she could. Any gift given will be clearly an act of love, but even so, tell the gm (or someone close to the mother) that your gift can be used in any way the parents want.
The headstone could be a wonderful donation from both family and close friends. Our daughter took a very large piece of petrified wood from our porch and used it as a headstone (it is in a small country church cemetary). She means to have a headstone put in, but it's been 12 years...
Anything you do for her will be appreciated, perhaps not now, but when the tears slow. For me, and for our daughter, something hand made, like a quilt, is the perfect expression of caring.
Sorry this got so long winded. I've cried almost every word of it.
Knowing her and her need to give all she could for this baby I took her out to find the most beautiful baptismal blanket we could find (there was no time to make a quilt) and we found a premie outfit (which was used to dress him for burial) and several small simple blankets to hold him in if he should be born alive. He was, lived an hour and was beautiful. His daddy actually built a beautiful small coffin with a cabinet-maker cousin's help as his gift to his son.
Later when she realized she had a number of trinkets she wanted to keep (as well as a stack of pictures) we bought her a small leather round topped chest (about 1'long x 8"wide x 10" tall).
This was all 12 years ago. When her 10 year old daughter started asking questions about her brother our daughter decided she was old enough to see the pictures, but the tears started coming, "she was crying in big gulps" and they closed the box and said "later".
Bottom line - This is not a person who wanted to have a daily reminder (different people deal with grief in different ways). When we had the coffin size from her husband we mocked up a cardboard and put in it things she wanted to give this baby and it included: a quilt a close college friend had made for the older boy to represent the circle of close friends from those days (the friend replaced it with another quilt almost immediately), a tiny glass candle holder from Finland that was a gift from a girlfriend with whom she spent 3 months in Europe, a small necklace cross which had been her gm's (who had died recently), etc., etc.
I think a small quilt reflecting any religious beliefs would be good (nothing "cute" -- this isn't a "cute" time!). If they use it as a buriel quilt, fine, if they keep it, fine. A home-made frame (cross-stitched?), or a frame quilted over, perhaps with the name on it would be nice, whether it ends up in a small chest, or is kept out in view. For our daughter these things stayed with the baby - her way of giving all she could. Any gift given will be clearly an act of love, but even so, tell the gm (or someone close to the mother) that your gift can be used in any way the parents want.
The headstone could be a wonderful donation from both family and close friends. Our daughter took a very large piece of petrified wood from our porch and used it as a headstone (it is in a small country church cemetary). She means to have a headstone put in, but it's been 12 years...
Anything you do for her will be appreciated, perhaps not now, but when the tears slow. For me, and for our daughter, something hand made, like a quilt, is the perfect expression of caring.
Sorry this got so long winded. I've cried almost every word of it.
09-09-2011, 08:57 AM
#39
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 673
a baby bonnet made from a fancy handkerchief would be nice--the baby could wear it, and mom could keep it either as a bonnet or a hanky. it would be significant, but could be a subtle as she wanted it to be.
my heart goes out to her and her family. loss of a child is always a terrible thing. loss of a little one who was dealt such a hand is even more so.
my heart goes out to her and her family. loss of a child is always a terrible thing. loss of a little one who was dealt such a hand is even more so.
09-09-2011, 09:44 AM
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Oakhurst, CA
Posts: 727
Can you ask the mom? We had a friend recently lose a baby under similar circumstances. I asked her if I could make a quilt out of clothes that he might have worn the few days he did live. She wanted to keep them whole and unwashed as the smell reminder her of the baby she lost. I took her meals, (she had 3 other children and was recovering from a c-section on top of everything). Each person is different. She grieved very openly, lots of comments on Facebook, etc. others are move private.
Someone else mentioned the photographer, she did have a photographer come to the hospital and take pictures. I believe it was free to her.
Someone else mentioned the photographer, she did have a photographer come to the hospital and take pictures. I believe it was free to her.
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