Oct 2011 Weight Loss Adventure with a Prize! Winner is Createfourpaws
10-25-2011, 01:05 PM
#871
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Misssissippi
Posts: 3,196
Mother/daughter relationships are very complicated. I have dealt with my own issues to this day and do not think they will ever resolve.
I have learned to accept my mother for who she is. We don't discuss anything in my life except what I'm cooking and what I'm quilting. Thank God for quilting as it has allowed me to have a neutral topic and activity with my mother.
One book I read about the Mother-Daughter Dance stated the relationship was so filled with unrealistic expectations...we all want tv mom but she doesn't exist. Another issue was mirroring- our mothers see us as a reflection of themselves and their parenting skills, when we don't perform the script correctly they criticize us (while blaming themselves).
Finding a neutral base has been a life saver for me. I didn't want to sever the relationship but I also did not want to leave myself open as a target.
I have learned to accept my mother for who she is. We don't discuss anything in my life except what I'm cooking and what I'm quilting. Thank God for quilting as it has allowed me to have a neutral topic and activity with my mother.
One book I read about the Mother-Daughter Dance stated the relationship was so filled with unrealistic expectations...we all want tv mom but she doesn't exist. Another issue was mirroring- our mothers see us as a reflection of themselves and their parenting skills, when we don't perform the script correctly they criticize us (while blaming themselves).
Finding a neutral base has been a life saver for me. I didn't want to sever the relationship but I also did not want to leave myself open as a target.
10-25-2011, 01:32 PM
#872
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 2,381
Originally Posted by purplemem
Mother/daughter relationships are very complicated. I have dealt with my own issues to this day and do not think they will ever resolve.
I have learned to accept my mother for who she is. We don't discuss anything in my life except what I'm cooking and what I'm quilting. Thank God for quilting as it has allowed me to have a neutral topic and activity with my mother.
One book I read about the Mother-Daughter Dance stated the relationship was so filled with unrealistic expectations...we all want tv mom but she doesn't exist. Another issue was mirroring- our mothers see us as a reflection of themselves and their parenting skills, when we don't perform the script correctly they criticize us (while blaming themselves).
Finding a neutral base has been a life saver for me. I didn't want to sever the relationship but I also did not want to leave myself open as a target.
I have learned to accept my mother for who she is. We don't discuss anything in my life except what I'm cooking and what I'm quilting. Thank God for quilting as it has allowed me to have a neutral topic and activity with my mother.
One book I read about the Mother-Daughter Dance stated the relationship was so filled with unrealistic expectations...we all want tv mom but she doesn't exist. Another issue was mirroring- our mothers see us as a reflection of themselves and their parenting skills, when we don't perform the script correctly they criticize us (while blaming themselves).
Finding a neutral base has been a life saver for me. I didn't want to sever the relationship but I also did not want to leave myself open as a target.
I have had trouble with my daughters and what has been a comfort to me is that I know that my prayers have been answered and one day when I was ready to be the mother I should have always been, then he will bring me back my daughters. The oldest and I have a great relationship now and it just gets stronger day by day and the one that is in Afghanistan, I pray, will find her way back to me too.
I love my daughter that is overseas but I know that I have made lots of mistakes and she is so very much like my ex-wife and is a grudge-holder so I may have a long wait before we can reconcile.
Anyway...I will continue to pray for y'all...
Missy
10-25-2011, 02:56 PM
#873
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Misssissippi
Posts: 3,196
Missy, I am proud that your daughter will be home. I have continued to pray for her safety.
Irish, Under Armoour has an online outlet store. I don't know if that makes it more affordable, but here is the link.
http://www.underarmour.com/shop/us/en/outlet/ua-outlet
My constipation issues are solved with coffee. I make a strong cup on "those days" and it works well for me. If you do not care for hot coffee, iced works just as well. A doctor told me once to use "warm foods." He said even a cup of hot water in the morning will move the digestive system.
Nancia, I am sorry for your situation. My mother is mentally ill with lots of untreated issues. I feel your pain. You did not make your mother who she is and cannot fix her situation. You need to take care of You, you are the only You you have!
Mim, I too, have a distant relationship with my children and no relationship with my grandchildren. I think my children are angry that I got sick...or just don't care. I try not to analyze this as it is so hurtful. Dh and I have been married ten years and they have not once visited in our home. They don't associate with the ex either, so that is not the issue. I guess they feel abandoned by both parents? I have 9 grandchildren and have only held the 3 that I drove 500 miles to be present for their births. I've never even seen the rest of them.
Irish, Under Armoour has an online outlet store. I don't know if that makes it more affordable, but here is the link.
http://www.underarmour.com/shop/us/en/outlet/ua-outlet
My constipation issues are solved with coffee. I make a strong cup on "those days" and it works well for me. If you do not care for hot coffee, iced works just as well. A doctor told me once to use "warm foods." He said even a cup of hot water in the morning will move the digestive system.
Nancia, I am sorry for your situation. My mother is mentally ill with lots of untreated issues. I feel your pain. You did not make your mother who she is and cannot fix her situation. You need to take care of You, you are the only You you have!
Mim, I too, have a distant relationship with my children and no relationship with my grandchildren. I think my children are angry that I got sick...or just don't care. I try not to analyze this as it is so hurtful. Dh and I have been married ten years and they have not once visited in our home. They don't associate with the ex either, so that is not the issue. I guess they feel abandoned by both parents? I have 9 grandchildren and have only held the 3 that I drove 500 miles to be present for their births. I've never even seen the rest of them.
10-25-2011, 03:30 PM
#874
Super Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Folsom, CA
Posts: 1,548
Boy family relationships have been the topic today. I reflect back on myself as a mom and wonder why my son has pretty much thrown his whole family away. My husband and I have been married 43 years. There was never any difficulty raising him or his sister. There were 6 years between them so there was no sibling rivalry either. Both of us worked, and they came first in our lives. We always went on vacations together. No drugs, alcohol, early pregnancies etc. We sent him to a good university where he earned a degree in physics and later two Masters. He is a software engineer. Then when my son was 32 he met a girl who only wanted him. None of his family. They have two little boys, I have seen once a year ago July. He lives two hours away. He doesn't take phone calls, reply to emails, text or send pictures. My husband and I lost our parents when we were in our 30's. It really hurts to have a son just throw us away in his 30's. I am grateful I have my daughter, who is a most kind sensitive girl, who will be a wonderful wife to someone someday. I am proud of her accomplishments too. She is a Pediatrician.
Well I guess we all have our family stories. We have either hurt someone or been hurt ourselves. We can be grateful for the joys we have experienced and leave the sad stories behind. Now to cheer myself up I will go back to the cute advent calendars I am making. And hopes that I drop a few more pounds before Halloween.
Well I guess we all have our family stories. We have either hurt someone or been hurt ourselves. We can be grateful for the joys we have experienced and leave the sad stories behind. Now to cheer myself up I will go back to the cute advent calendars I am making. And hopes that I drop a few more pounds before Halloween.
10-25-2011, 04:32 PM
#875
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 2,381
I am curious if anyone has participated in the Bountiful Baskets food program? I just ordered my basket to be picked up Saturday. This is what is in my basket:
Conventional Basket
50% Fruit, 50% Vegetables and 100% healthy, delicious & fun
In the conventional basket we focus our buying as follows: High Quality, Low Cost and As Local as Possible… So, how hard do we try? Pretty hard! Most bananas are from Central America or the Carribean and are grown by a couple gargantuan conglomerate growers. We get all of our bananas from small farmers in central Mexico. This saves the co-op between $4 and $7 a box, keeps money with small farmers, and helps keep the carbon footprint small.
100% Certified Organic Basket
Valencia Oranges - Approximately 113 Count and 36 pounds box from Mexico. Can’t wait to enjoy these. They are beautiful and the last of the crop for the year. Don’t let that fool you though the quality is fantastic with very high sugar content!
Fuji Apples - Approximately 100 Count and 36 pound box from Washington State. Perfect for pie, eating, or sauce. Fuji apples are versatile and one of the best eats out there!
Tropical Pack – hoping for 2 vanilla beans, pineapple, plantains, mango, papaya, lime, fresh mint – A fun way to try a couple fruits you ordinarily wouldn’t have the opportunity to try without breaking the bank. Plus those vanilla beans just are so sensational!
Bountiful Baskets Granola – two pounds. Love this over granola and ice cream, as breakfast cold or cooked, or as a snack called broken cookie!
Ingredients: Oats, Honey, canola oil, roasted & salted cashews, dates, diced pineapple, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, sliced almonds, and almond & vanilla flavor.
9 Grain Sandwich Bread – five loaves. Our delicious standby of 9 Grain bread. This is the best toasted!
Ingredients: Wheat Flour, Organic Whole Grain Wheat Flour, Water, Honey, Rye Flakes, Barley, Oats, Vital wheat gluten, cracked wheat, corn, rye, millet, flax seed, sea salt, yeast. Contains: Wheat.
Honey Whole Wheat Sandwich Bread – five loaves! Delicious whole wheat bread with a sweet honey finish. Perfect for peanut butter and jelly!
Ingredients: 100% Whole Grain Wheat Flour, Water, Honey, Cultured Wheat Flour, Vinegar, Salt, Yeast, Natural Enzymes. Contains: Wheat
These are the extras I bought in addition to the conventional basket:
Veggie Lovers Pack - Italian Theme - Add extra veggies to your basket! Making dinnertime fun!
(Max 5)
$8.50 ea
Fuji Apples - Approx 40 Lb from Washington State
(Max 5)
$24.00 ea
Roma Tomatoes from Mexico - Approx 25 Lb box
(Max 5)
$13.00 ea
Fruit Lovers Pack - Add an additional pack of fruit to your regular basket!
(Max 5)
If yall are interested I can post the link to their site. This is a nationwide program and you can read through the different locations where baskets can be picked up.
I thought this was a good deal for our family. We are going to cook up the tomatoes and all the herbs and veggies for sauce we can freeze. The apples are going to be sliced and seasoned for pie, crisps and sauce.
I am curious about what you guys think about this!
Missy
PS: Shucks! I can't wait so I decided to just post the link. LOL!!
http://www10.bountifulbaskets.org/
Conventional Basket
50% Fruit, 50% Vegetables and 100% healthy, delicious & fun
In the conventional basket we focus our buying as follows: High Quality, Low Cost and As Local as Possible… So, how hard do we try? Pretty hard! Most bananas are from Central America or the Carribean and are grown by a couple gargantuan conglomerate growers. We get all of our bananas from small farmers in central Mexico. This saves the co-op between $4 and $7 a box, keeps money with small farmers, and helps keep the carbon footprint small.
100% Certified Organic Basket
Valencia Oranges - Approximately 113 Count and 36 pounds box from Mexico. Can’t wait to enjoy these. They are beautiful and the last of the crop for the year. Don’t let that fool you though the quality is fantastic with very high sugar content!
Fuji Apples - Approximately 100 Count and 36 pound box from Washington State. Perfect for pie, eating, or sauce. Fuji apples are versatile and one of the best eats out there!
Tropical Pack – hoping for 2 vanilla beans, pineapple, plantains, mango, papaya, lime, fresh mint – A fun way to try a couple fruits you ordinarily wouldn’t have the opportunity to try without breaking the bank. Plus those vanilla beans just are so sensational!
Bountiful Baskets Granola – two pounds. Love this over granola and ice cream, as breakfast cold or cooked, or as a snack called broken cookie!
Ingredients: Oats, Honey, canola oil, roasted & salted cashews, dates, diced pineapple, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, sliced almonds, and almond & vanilla flavor.
9 Grain Sandwich Bread – five loaves. Our delicious standby of 9 Grain bread. This is the best toasted!
Ingredients: Wheat Flour, Organic Whole Grain Wheat Flour, Water, Honey, Rye Flakes, Barley, Oats, Vital wheat gluten, cracked wheat, corn, rye, millet, flax seed, sea salt, yeast. Contains: Wheat.
Honey Whole Wheat Sandwich Bread – five loaves! Delicious whole wheat bread with a sweet honey finish. Perfect for peanut butter and jelly!
Ingredients: 100% Whole Grain Wheat Flour, Water, Honey, Cultured Wheat Flour, Vinegar, Salt, Yeast, Natural Enzymes. Contains: Wheat
These are the extras I bought in addition to the conventional basket:
Veggie Lovers Pack - Italian Theme - Add extra veggies to your basket! Making dinnertime fun!
(Max 5)
$8.50 ea
Fuji Apples - Approx 40 Lb from Washington State
(Max 5)
$24.00 ea
Roma Tomatoes from Mexico - Approx 25 Lb box
(Max 5)
$13.00 ea
Fruit Lovers Pack - Add an additional pack of fruit to your regular basket!
(Max 5)
If yall are interested I can post the link to their site. This is a nationwide program and you can read through the different locations where baskets can be picked up.
I thought this was a good deal for our family. We are going to cook up the tomatoes and all the herbs and veggies for sauce we can freeze. The apples are going to be sliced and seasoned for pie, crisps and sauce.
I am curious about what you guys think about this!
Missy
PS: Shucks! I can't wait so I decided to just post the link. LOL!!
http://www10.bountifulbaskets.org/
10-25-2011, 05:04 PM
#876
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Mid-West
Posts: 3,838
Lucky you....they aren't in our state.
10-25-2011, 05:06 PM
#877
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 2,381
Originally Posted by plainpat
Lucky you....they aren't in our state.
Missy
10-25-2011, 05:10 PM
#878
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Mid-West
Posts: 3,838
Nope...we're close to the middle of Ohio.DD lives in the city & she buys fruits/veggies from a co op///the farm is near the city & only delivers there.
I'm really gonna miss the fresh produce when winter gets here.
I'm really gonna miss the fresh produce when winter gets here.
10-25-2011, 05:12 PM
#879
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 2,381
Originally Posted by plainpat
Nope...we're close to the middle of Ohio.DD lives in the city & she buys fruits/veggies from a co op///the farm is near the city & only delivers there.
I'm really gonna miss the fresh produce when winter gets here.
I'm really gonna miss the fresh produce when winter gets here.
Missy
10-25-2011, 11:33 PM
#880
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Bard,California
Posts: 697
Well our fresh vegetables are just now coming in.Lettuce is growing,I see some broccoli fields,and cauliflower,celery and cabbage hopefully.Our seasons are just starting.Your lettuce will be coming from down here/but like irishrose said,apples and that type of cold fruits are not that good here.But they do have them in the stores.We like johnathons,they are hard to get,but do find johnagolds.I also see the lemons and other fruits are turning.I hope to eat a lot more grapefruits and oranges this year.All my neighbors have lots of trees and don't eat that many,as they don't live here year around.And they have to come off the trees,so we can have all we want.generally I don't eat that many,but will this year cause I am eating better now.Well you all stay with it and hang in there.Keep away from the candy.We don't have trick or treaters so no biggy for us.We're all doing great,and no matter what,we'll get through it together.Missy,I'm glad your doing good,and you are a great mother.Jeanie,I'm glad your doing alright too.I wished you lived closer to me too.We'd have fun hitting the sale racks and the quilt shops and of course,my favorite the thrift store finds.Ok,well lets get this weight off,thanksgiving is ahead of the candy day coming up.We have to be vigilant and lose some extra to make up for the holidays ahead of us.
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