Want husband to butt out
#71
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 108
Compromise can be a really hard thing. I am curious to know what his changes are to your plans. Sometimes my husband accuses me of saying no to something, or saying I don't like something, just because he was the one that came up with the idea. I'll tell you the truth though, sometimes I think he is right, often I will have something in mind and have a immediate no response to his suggestion. For example, recently I was sewing a felted bag. I showed it to him and was telling him how the design was going to progress. He suggested I make a flap instead of leaving the bag open, and my first reaction was no way. Then I really looked at it and considered the idea. I ended going with his suggestion. lol.
I guess my point is that sometimes a suggestion is helpful. I don't know either of you, so I don't know what is really going on here. If he is railroading your dream then definitely stand up for yourself. I work on really considering my husbands suggestions because I have found it is good sometimes to be open minded and consider all options, as well as making my marriage happier.
My husband and I are together 24/7 because we both work at home, and we have also built a house together (and I do mean literally built), so I really understand where you are coming from. It can be hard to be together so often, and I have read that a stressful thing like building a house together has led to a lot of divorces in the diy community.
Some people may consider my approach stroking a mans ego...I just know what works for me. I mean, does your husband really really care how your sewing room is designed, or does he really just want to feel valued?
Maybe you could get him into a hobby and tell him you will help him develop his own space for it.
I guess my point is that sometimes a suggestion is helpful. I don't know either of you, so I don't know what is really going on here. If he is railroading your dream then definitely stand up for yourself. I work on really considering my husbands suggestions because I have found it is good sometimes to be open minded and consider all options, as well as making my marriage happier.
My husband and I are together 24/7 because we both work at home, and we have also built a house together (and I do mean literally built), so I really understand where you are coming from. It can be hard to be together so often, and I have read that a stressful thing like building a house together has led to a lot of divorces in the diy community.
Some people may consider my approach stroking a mans ego...I just know what works for me. I mean, does your husband really really care how your sewing room is designed, or does he really just want to feel valued?
Maybe you could get him into a hobby and tell him you will help him develop his own space for it.
#72
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chapel Hill
Posts: 1,086
Sadly I have the opposite problem.
I'm turning a spare bedroom into a sewing space/office. And while DH gets a corner for a desk, which I'm also using as the technology zone (computer, printer, scanner), he has barely lifted a finger to help. My 11 year old and I have done the bulk of the furniture moving and deep cleaning.
Fortunately though, he is also not interfering with my design/layout for the room.
Cheers, K
I'm turning a spare bedroom into a sewing space/office. And while DH gets a corner for a desk, which I'm also using as the technology zone (computer, printer, scanner), he has barely lifted a finger to help. My 11 year old and I have done the bulk of the furniture moving and deep cleaning.
Fortunately though, he is also not interfering with my design/layout for the room.
Cheers, K
#74
Good luck with your new room. 2 sets of plans are always nice. When I was redesiging my room
I got out the masking tape and taped each piece of furniture on floor where I thought it was to go.
After seeing how some things fit and some did not, my DH actually had several goof ideas and suggestions.
It was time consuming taping each piece on floor, cabinets, cutting table, but it helped me (us)
see the dimensions and how everything flowed. Yes engineer DH's always want there way. Have fun
in the process.
I got out the masking tape and taped each piece of furniture on floor where I thought it was to go.
After seeing how some things fit and some did not, my DH actually had several goof ideas and suggestions.
It was time consuming taping each piece on floor, cabinets, cutting table, but it helped me (us)
see the dimensions and how everything flowed. Yes engineer DH's always want there way. Have fun
in the process.
#75
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,006
Pick up th cast iron pan and give him a good whack. Let him know this is YOUR room and you want it your way. He would not be happy if you went to his tool shed and fixed it all up your way. Let him know you want him there with you every step of the way but it has to be the way you want it. YOU will not be happy unless its the way you want it and for you to retreat there and do your work of art. Whack some sense into him and then smile and say I love you but its my room.
#77
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kissimmee, FL
Posts: 19
Yes, I had the same problem. Notice I said HAD? He wanted to tell me where to put my HQ 16, then my sewing table and how I should set everything up. I had one question for him. I said, I didn't realize this was your sewing room. End of story.
#78
This is funny. Two of my quilty buddies and I were having a sewing day and her husband asked us for some ideas on how to rearrange HIS garage. The three of us were throwing out ideas so fast that the poor guys head was just spinning. Most of the ideas he did and it's still set up that way so I guess he likes it. We still laugh about it. (Are you laughing Linda?)
#79
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
Posts: 3,992
How about getting some Vintage Sewing Machines and task him with repair and restore? That man needs something to do. Teach him to sew maybe? But it does not sound like sharing your space with him would be easy. Yep, get him out in the garage with some old sewing machine to keep his mind and hands busy.
#80
I used to have the same problem. Notice I said "had". now my Ex. When I had my embroidery business, twice we moved the business and he set up all the machines the way he thought was best contrary to what I said, wasn't the easiest way to work as it turned out and was a real pain. seeing as 2 6-head machines set up on blocks were not something I could do, he got his way. I have now converted my living room into my sewing area, and I set it up the way I wanted it and it was heaven.
Good luck with your redesign.
Good luck with your redesign.
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