Attitudes towards young quilters
01-02-2013, 05:53 AM
#81
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Quilting, crocheting, sewing and crafting in my Sewing Room...Peaceful and wonderful !!
Posts: 5,317
Oh dear .. I think we all have experienced that at one time or another in real life or even in the virual world. So all I can offer is: find a few good books, a neighbor that quilts, a family member that quilts: and learn all you can. Some people resent sharing their "expertise", but we all were "beginners" at some time and still are beginners at other items.
I am teaching a 68 year old woman who can sew the most gorgeous wedding dresses but has never quilted in her life. I am also teaching my DGD's how to sew, quilt and crochet. I am a believer of passing on something I have learned all through my years of self learning through books, trial and error and then learning from others. To pass on knowledge is the greatest thing I can do.
IF I can do anything to help you out; pm me and we'll chat .. Please, don't give up due to the lack of consideration of others.
I am teaching a 68 year old woman who can sew the most gorgeous wedding dresses but has never quilted in her life. I am also teaching my DGD's how to sew, quilt and crochet. I am a believer of passing on something I have learned all through my years of self learning through books, trial and error and then learning from others. To pass on knowledge is the greatest thing I can do.
IF I can do anything to help you out; pm me and we'll chat .. Please, don't give up due to the lack of consideration of others.
01-02-2013, 06:16 AM
#82
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains of Idaho
Posts: 1,454
I too experienced an unwelcoming group in a guild I joined in Arizona. I hesitated joining another but six months ago jumped into one here in our little town where we live now. Some ladies have been friendly then there is a clique of about a dozen or so of them that I've observed that may have known each other a long time I assume...maybe they are founding members???
I wonder if it has more to do with the fact that we are mostly women who quilt? It reminds me of high school cliques, you're either in or you are out. I surmise that is why this Quilt Board is soooooo very successful, I've yet to post a question that isn't answered many times over, encouragement abounds, this is a wonderful 'guild' of quilters, men and women alike here.
I remember advice my very outgoing (never-met-a-stranger-type personality) FIL gave me years ago, "Get the other person to start talking about themselves, and there will never be a lack of conversation", ask them the most inane question that relates to them and very few people find it uncomfortable to expound on their 'expertise'.....I've found that to be so true.
If a person isn't naturally outgoing and effusive joining a new group and being the new kid on the block can be intimidating.
I wonder if it has more to do with the fact that we are mostly women who quilt? It reminds me of high school cliques, you're either in or you are out. I surmise that is why this Quilt Board is soooooo very successful, I've yet to post a question that isn't answered many times over, encouragement abounds, this is a wonderful 'guild' of quilters, men and women alike here.
I remember advice my very outgoing (never-met-a-stranger-type personality) FIL gave me years ago, "Get the other person to start talking about themselves, and there will never be a lack of conversation", ask them the most inane question that relates to them and very few people find it uncomfortable to expound on their 'expertise'.....I've found that to be so true.
If a person isn't naturally outgoing and effusive joining a new group and being the new kid on the block can be intimidating.
01-02-2013, 06:21 AM
#83
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains of Idaho
Posts: 1,454
I'm sorry, MissSongBird and Dolphyngrl, that you both have had those experiences. Some of the quilting groups are hard for "new" people to enter. And age doesn't really matter. When I first started my quilting journey about 5 or so years ago, I encountered some of the some experiences with younger, same age, and older ladies in different groups. I was actually laughed at on 2 separated occasions. I am 69 1/2 years old, so age doesn't matter. It reminds me of being in middle and high school and the "mean girls" attitudes sometimes. At first, it bothered me but now I realize how some women tend to stay in the "insecurity stages of adolescence" and never mature to reach out to others fully. I think it has to do mostly with trust issues in their past. My advice is for you to just keep quilting and don't let anything sway your confidence. Before you know it, you will become the "older" ladies and there will "youngins" that will need your help, guidance, and encouragement. I am in a wonderful Quilting Guild now and always enjoy going to the meetings. We all have a tendency to stay with what is comfortable to us and some people just have a harder time reaching out. I don't think it is you. You are next generation of quilters and the art needs young people like you to continue on. Please look for and find a group that you feel comfortable with for I believe there is one out there for you. With kindest regards, 
JoAnn
JoAnn
Wow JoAnn I couldn't agree with you more, your entire post is 'right-on'. IMHO
01-02-2013, 06:30 AM
#84
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Southwest GA
Posts: 4
I hate that you have had a negative experience with a few quilters. We should welcome all young quilters with open arms. I am teaching my grandchildren, ages 13, 5, 3, and 2, to quilt. The older two do the sewing and the younger two help choose colors. I hope they will continue quilting and one day teach their children and grandchildren. What a legacy that would be!
01-02-2013, 06:41 AM
#85
Junior Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 175
I marvel at the QB - they are so caring and encouraging with their posts. One does not need human contact to find joy in their quilting. Social gatherings can be fun, but they also can be critical. Don't let UR youth discourage U!
01-02-2013, 06:54 AM
#86
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Camden, Ohio
Posts: 1,432
I'm many years older than 20!! I found quilters in my local guild to be closed to "newcomers" (I was about 55 when I joined the guild) so I quit attending the meetings, and it had nothing to do with age. I am more of a loner and introvert anyway, so I actually do better on my own.
I would encourage you not to give up, however. Look at Leah Day, her skill, and her age - 27 or maybe 28. She commands great respect for her quilting skills. So even though you feel age is a factor, and it certainly may be with some women, stick with it. Don't become discouraged. You may be the next Leah Day!!
I would encourage you not to give up, however. Look at Leah Day, her skill, and her age - 27 or maybe 28. She commands great respect for her quilting skills. So even though you feel age is a factor, and it certainly may be with some women, stick with it. Don't become discouraged. You may be the next Leah Day!!
me for introducing him to sewing. ha ha ha That is a good thing to be accused of.
01-02-2013, 07:13 AM
#87
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Jozefow, Poland
Posts: 4,474
I'm 20 years old and I've been quilting for about 5 years now, and as a young quilter I've experienced many different attitudes from other quilters because of my age. It's only within the last year or two that I've actually become involved in the local quilting community.
A little over a year ago I joined a Thimbleberries quilting group with my aunt in hopes that we would grow a more serious bond over our love of quilting. Long story short, my aunt slowly stopped going with me and my the quilt shop no longer does thimbleberries. Anyway, at the beginning I got a lot of weird looks from the women. I felt sorta un-welcome, but thankfully this was only from a couple of women. Many of these women were happy to talk to me and make me feel welcome. And then once I did show-and-tell for the first time with my black and red log cabin quilt, I truly felt accepted into the group for they now knew I could ACTUALLY QUILT! Some of the women have begun offering my fabric and books and they are always open to helping me with any quilting problem.
But on the other hand I haven't had great experiences with some other quilters. Almost two years ago I joined a local chapter of Quilts of Valor. Unlike at Thimbleberries, I felt welcome at the very beginning. But slowly after time the ladies talked to me less and less and I could feel those judgmental stares. I've also found that when we have collectedly worked on projects I'm given "busy work" I guess you would call it...nothing that actually helps all that much. Not all of the women are like this, but it seems some are more than not. Now I don't even want to go to meetings. I'd rather sit at home in my own room doing my thing, than being ignored with all those women around me.
Honestly, I feel sometimes some of older quilters aren't to welcome to young quilters and it pushes some potential quilters away. I'm not like a lot of people for if they tell me I can do something I prove them wrong, but I know a lot of people who would be put off forever because of these attitudes.
Sorry this is soooo long, but to get to the point, please don't count us youngins. I know we are hard to find, but most of those who do come around love quilting just as much as the next person. And just because we are young doesn't mean we are unskilled or unexperienced.
A little over a year ago I joined a Thimbleberries quilting group with my aunt in hopes that we would grow a more serious bond over our love of quilting. Long story short, my aunt slowly stopped going with me and my the quilt shop no longer does thimbleberries. Anyway, at the beginning I got a lot of weird looks from the women. I felt sorta un-welcome, but thankfully this was only from a couple of women. Many of these women were happy to talk to me and make me feel welcome. And then once I did show-and-tell for the first time with my black and red log cabin quilt, I truly felt accepted into the group for they now knew I could ACTUALLY QUILT! Some of the women have begun offering my fabric and books and they are always open to helping me with any quilting problem.
But on the other hand I haven't had great experiences with some other quilters. Almost two years ago I joined a local chapter of Quilts of Valor. Unlike at Thimbleberries, I felt welcome at the very beginning. But slowly after time the ladies talked to me less and less and I could feel those judgmental stares. I've also found that when we have collectedly worked on projects I'm given "busy work" I guess you would call it...nothing that actually helps all that much. Not all of the women are like this, but it seems some are more than not. Now I don't even want to go to meetings. I'd rather sit at home in my own room doing my thing, than being ignored with all those women around me.
Honestly, I feel sometimes some of older quilters aren't to welcome to young quilters and it pushes some potential quilters away. I'm not like a lot of people for if they tell me I can do something I prove them wrong, but I know a lot of people who would be put off forever because of these attitudes.
Sorry this is soooo long, but to get to the point, please don't count us youngins. I know we are hard to find, but most of those who do come around love quilting just as much as the next person. And just because we are young doesn't mean we are unskilled or unexperienced.
Last edited by justflyingin; 01-02-2013 at 07:15 AM.
01-02-2013, 07:18 AM
#88
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Sunny AZ
Posts: 570
I teach quilting at my LQS and just love it when younger people sign up! Frankly, if we don't have younger people like yourself, eventually quilting will become a lost art. Why not look for a new place to quilt, or start a group at your LQS? Or put a notice on Craig's List. Good luck to you!
01-02-2013, 07:45 AM
#89
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Catlin, Il
Posts: 218
I teach quilting at my LQS and just love it when younger people sign up! Frankly, if we don't have younger people like yourself, eventually quilting will become a lost art. Why not look for a new place to quilt, or start a group at your LQS? Or put a notice on Craig's List. Good luck to you!
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