debbiemarie

When my Mother had to move into an assisted living home we sold our home of 27 years and moved into her house, which was completely stuffed full of everything imaginable. After my siblings took what they wanted out of the house, I had the daunting task of cleaning out her house and moving our stuff in. In other words I had two households of stuff to deal with! It was heartbreaking to go through her things that she had held onto for many years and just throw out, but she told me to just give it away to the Goodwill. She saved every plastic bag, boxes, envelopes, patterns and boxes of fabric. Unfortunately, one of my nieces went through all her patterns and fabric and took everything good without permission, (she stayed in the house for a month then moved to Texas) She tried to take Mom's sewing machine too, fortunately she asked first. Alone with the task, it took me months go through everything, have major work done on the house and finish it all up. After I finished it all up, then came the requests from Mom, "um, in my hall closet I need my ...!!!) Some of the stuff I saved lucky for her, but not all. I did all this while taking care of my Grandaughter age 4. My precious little grandaughter loved every second of going through stuff, she took home lots of treasures as well.

gramma nancy

When DH and I were married, we were combining two more-than-full homes. The first thing was to brutally cut and send literally a house-full of furniture to a local charity that sets homeless people up in their own apartments and small houses. I like to think our stuff helped several families. Next came the kitchens -- everything went but what we absolutely could not live without. We ended up buying new cookware/glassware/silverware. The old stuff was OLD and not lamented. Bed linens, etc were donated to a thrift shop.

We thought we had given away a lot of books, but after we moved, we ended up practically endowing the local library rather than buy more shelves.

The best advice you have received is to be brutal, brutal, brutal. Give away (or sell if you have the time) everything but what you can't live without. We have all probably been in an older person's down-sided place and found it so crammed with stuff -- chairs, sofas and cabinets line all the walls and make it impossible to simply walk through some rooms. I don't want to end up like that. Make someone else happy with your stuff -- give it away. As my DH said of his former stuff, "It's fully amortized."

Gladygirl

I am finding this very interesing reading --we are buying a Senior Condo in a 36 unit building which is just now being started so have almost a year to get ready to move--our single daughter is buying the unit next to ours--and needs to do the same downsizing. We have lived in this 3 bedroom house for 42 yrs and she has lived in hers for 20 yrs--so there will be lots of "stuff" to get rid of one way or another. Thinking we will move what we want and then have a sale to clean out the house before putting it on the market to sell--daughter has a neighbor who wants her house--DH is not able to do much and she is still working till Dec. so most of it will fall to me and I'm dreading it. Am going to take the advice and purge mightily--who needs 3 crockpots, 8 casseroles, 2 complete sets of dishes-etc,etc!!!! We are having houseguests for a week the first part of Sept. so haven't been able to use the extra room for packing boxes yet but I am anxious to get started. No more stairs, laundry on main floor, no outside maintenance--hooray!!!!

Just Fabric

I too did a major downsize as I lost my 5 bedroom home to foreclosure, I had a huge rummage sale for whatever I couldn't take, ask the kids if they want anything and then sell it. I moved to a 3 bedroom upper then after a year they sold it so I then had to move to a 2 bedroom upper, now for the past 2.5 years I am once again in a 4 plus bedroom home that I am renting. If this fails too, I will have to move to my mom's house of only 800sq. feet-I can't do it.

Gabrielle's Mimi

We moved in January, and downsized, but not as drastically as some. Our biggest problem was that we had a 3-car garage full of STUFF! Everything that didn't fit in the house went in the garage, and next thing we knew, the garage was full of craft stuff, old pet crates, semi-worn out luggage, seasonal wreaths and door decorations, clothes that must have shrunk in the dryer, etc. I won't lie; at first it was painful to give away stuff to Goodwill. I kept thinking, what if I need these rubber stamps to make Christmas cards next year? Or, This box is just he right size if I need to mail a gift to my DD. Or, These old toys belonged to my boys 35 years ago, etc. but what happened over time was that I began to feel freed of my burden of hanging onto stuff! It actually felt liberating to get rid of it. The boxes that I did take to the new house, even with all the purging I did, still turned out to be too much stuff. So, as everyone has said, be ruthless!

wendiq

So many people here sharing their ideas.....Thank You. I believe the first thing I have to do is to go view a possible "new place" and do some measurements.....then contact a couple antique dealers to see if any want anything. My kids don't want much, but there are quite a few quilty items, I'm hoping my daughter will want. As for my sewing machines, I can take them, but not the two lovely and large tables they currently sit in. That would be a beginning.....perhaps if I see a few of the larger items leaving the scene, I can see a path. I'm still sitting here paralyzed. If we could move before selling our current home, it would help, but that's not going to work, so it's a matter of downsizing first.....thank you, all, for your comments. I am saving this whole thread.....

rosiewell

I moved from a 3600 sq ft house with a huge garden to a 1600 townhouse. It's an awful lot of work but kind of liberating at the end. Our driving philosophy was " if we haven't used it in 5 years or longer" we don't need. I ended up having most of my large furniture in a consignment store. made some money, donated the rest. rented a garbage bin and dumped everything that was too old or broken etc. We then rented a storage unit for the stuff that we weren't sure we could part with or stuff that towards the end we were too tired to think of. When we settled in our new place, we gradually got rid of the stuff in the storage area. I don't buy anything new now unless I get rid of something old. I love our new place and I can clean it myself in a couple of hours. Good luck!

MargeD

I can truly relate to your situation. Three years ago we had to give up our 3-bedroom home and move into a 2-bedroom apartment. It was difficult for me to decide what to get rid of and what to keep, but dear friends helped me make the difficult decisions. I'm enjoying living on the first floor though, with NO STAIRS, which had become very problematic for me. Our son and his family live nearby, but I wish we could spend more time with them and our DGD, but they are busy with their work, Zoe, their home and my son starting nursing school next week. They help when they can and it doesn't hurt that there is a plaza right across the street with pharmacy, grocery store and bank. There are pluses and minuses with every move, but try to look at it as a new beginning for you both. God bless.

cathyvv

Six years ago, I was so overwhelmed by my DHs "hobby stuff" - antique radios, 45 record players, antique cars - that I literally moved out of state to get away from it. (I worked from home, so location was 100% up to me.)

I did not move to get away from DH, mind you, I love him and will until the end of our days together. But the 'stuff' was suffocating me. There was absolutely no room for my stuff (not that I had much). We were living in a 5 bedroom, two garage, 3 full bath house and the kids had moved out...

Initially, I rented a 2 bedroom apt. near the beach. Tiny kitchen, two small baths, living and dining area were also small. And, best of all, no clutter and no yard work! I LOVED IT! It literally took me 15 - 30 minutes to clean. My DH visited me frequently and was worried that I didn't love him because I seemed so much happier. I explained to him that HE was not the problem, his stuff was.

After 6 months, I decided I liked the location and could live there happily. He decided to join me. We bought a house. I wanted to DOWNSIZE, he wanted a big fancy house with a large yard. Can't figure out why he wanted a big yard - it's a ton of work! We "compromised" on a 3 bedroom house with two attached garages and a detached 3 car garage that had AC/heat and a bath. I told him that NONE of his hobby stuff could come in the house unless I pre-approved it. He agreed. We live happily there, thank God.

The 3 car garage is getting 'stuffed' - but my house is not.

He refuses to sell our former home because it has so much of his stuff in it. We rent the upstairs out to my sister (the rent pays the taxes) and use the basement when we are in town. It's kind of handy to have it, but the yard is going to hell and he doesn't want to maintain the house. We could sell it and buy a smaller town house, or renovate the income property we own a mile away and live in it, but no, he can't do that.

Getting him to clean out that house is going to be hell. What amazes me is that he is extremely 'careful' with money, but doesn't recognize the the financial drain of maintaining two houses.

So take the advice of those who responded to your post. Be ruthless. You don't need to keep everything you accumulated over the years. Keep the really precious things you have, let the others go. So much stuff is familiar and comforting, but can become emotionally paralyzing.

Above all, make up your mind to be happy in your new home, and you will be!

mjhaess

It is awful to downsize and get rid of all your treasures. Start by keeping those things that you cannot replace. Keep the things that you use daily. Good luck with the rest. I did it and now I am building a barn 30x50 with the first 20 feet my room for sewing and fabric storage. I hated it not having space to sew and always having to dig for fabric when I wanted to make something. At times I would get so over whelmed with my search I would just forget it.
Good luck with your move.