Misty's Mom

Her mother said that they told her if she went to the courthouse to be married, they would give her the money for the wedding and give her the reception. Seems the wedding would have cost $20,000 and the reception is ONLY going to cost $10,000. Am I out of touch with realty? What could so much? They said the reception hall is $4000 and she's making the dress for the occasion. What have I missed? Do weddings really cost that much? I'd have said skip the reception, there's more money there than counting on guests to give that kind of money.

bearisgray

We frequently do give money for a gift.

Most people don't seem to mind a gift registry - so maybe asking for cash isn't a very far step away from that.

It sure makes wrapping simple!

Maybe they invited you just because you are a neighbor? Have you talked to the people that live on the other side of them?

Misty's Mom

They constantly complain about them. Wonder if they're the same way about us?

bearisgray

I think one can spend as much as one wants to on a wedding (or a funeral, for that matter.) Beyond the cost of a license and the person that performs the ceremony, isn't everything else optional?

As far as trying to recover the cost of a wedding/reception from the guests - really?

orangeroom

If you're against direct cash in an envelope, then how about a gift card to a local grocery store or gas station? You can state in your card that you feel odd about the giving of cash and have compromised on a gift card to a place you know they'll use it, and you wish them good luck and much love. You can always get started on a baby quilt, as you know one is on the way!!!

bearisgray

I think it is stupid to get married nowadays if its only because a baby is on the way.

Nowadays there are so many unwed/single mothers, it's almost becoming a rite of passage!

Kitsie

Send them a nice card and be done with it! (or if you feel really mean, the amount of money a card would cost!) LOL

Nah, I wouldn't do that either! Going to buy a house? How much are they expecting everyone to chip in?!

HMK

Misty's Mom...Your last statement said it all - no gift would be coming from me in this instance. I refuse to pay for friendships and no matter what amount was given, they'd still probably not be satisfied talk about it to others.

Knitette

I'm not sure if this is a cultural thing, but I'm not offended by the couple asking for money (I write this from the perspective of someone who got 13 Teapots and 5 Slow Cookers amongst her gifts 35 years ago, lol. Most of them I gave as presents to other people when they got married!).

What does offend me however, is people who state that "Your presence is enough, BUT if you'd like to buy us a gift..." and then include a gift list or registry. Too hypocritical for my taste - if you're hoping for a present, then say so - don't pretend you'd really be happy if guests arrived empty handed!

I think your neighbours are being just that - neighbourly by inviting you.

Just because they've asked for money, doesn't mean you're obliged to give any. You can, if you wish, give them something you've made, or something you want to give.

Pinkiris

Bearisgray--you crack me up! I think a lot like you!

I once was told a story of a woman who was being driven to the local courthouse by her parents for her wedding. The "bride" was complaining about the groom. When her parents asked why, then, was she marrying him? Her response was something like " Well, I can divorce him if he doesn't straighten up." I would have turned the car immediately around and gone back home. But maybe they couldn't because a reception was planned for the "happy couple" and they needed the gift money for a house! (Shame on me!)