weezie

Good for you! My "Attaboy" means nothing to you, I'm sure, but FYI, I'm very impressed by your life-changing choices and the results.

I did it the other way around ... back in the '60's and '70's, I stayed at home with my children (in those days, it was do-able) and went to work when they were up in years and in school. We always had food, clothing, shelter, and lotsa good times, but not much extra $$$. If I had it to do all over again, I'd do the same thing. My husband was career military and, except for his hideous year in Viet Nam, we were not separated, so he basically had his 40+ hour a week job and had his meals and every evening and weekends to spend with us.

Ronda K Beyer

Boy do I here you here, it is like an echo.... I changed occupations in 2004 from a Management position for over 20 years to an at home longarm machine quilter.. Then in 2006 I lost my brother, our family became fractured, then on New Years Eve 2007 my Son died, I was devastated.....

I try to change things up, I don;t like leaving the house much, I try everyday to get up and accomplish something for me....

It is tough, I will be 50 in January and am seeing a different person in the mirrors reflection, I know I need to change some things in my life to find my new happy and lately haven't known where to look...

I wish I had my youth but with the wisdom I have today with age, I also wish for a non fractured family... However a wish does not accomplish much I have found, so I shall follow my dreams, my art and see where 2010 takes me....

Emjay

trupeach I cannot imagine a 5,000 sq ft sewing room, let alone a home as large as yours might be. I came from very humble beginnings, have all I need or want at this stage in my life, (yes, there is still someone or things I could handle), and am learning something new every day at my age (69). One of those things I am trying to learn is how to become accustomed to "wealth". Still working on the attitude. You are fortunate. May you and your loved one continue to love one another.

Oklahoma Suzie

My story is so much like yours. Single, then married for 14yrs., divorced-single mom, many jobs-sometimes three jobs at the same time- to survive. I'm married again, but still working 3 jobs.

Pam G

I think trupeach was saying if she COULD re-invent herself that would be her dream studio/home/life etc I could be wrong but that's the impression I got when I read her posts - she's struggled like the rest of us

MNQuilter

OK, so I never meant to open a can of worms like this! I also never meant for my reply to start an entire debate about faith and God. I apologize if I offended and I take no offense to people who do not agree with me.

I think that for people who commit suicide, there is usually more going on than the situation. I truly believe that mental illness is just that, an illness, with a root in the person's physical body. It is not a weakness, lack of faith, or any other shortcoming on their part. I could go into a ton of research about why there seems to be a higher prevalence of these things if someone cares to discuss it. There is so much going on in our brains that we are just beginning to tap, that we don't know what is causing many mental illnesses and unfortunately, there has always been a huge stigma around this field that there was very little progress. It amazes me that medications that were developed for things like seizures are being used for mood and behavior stabilization. Shouldn't this say something about mental illness? No one thinks seizures are the fault of the person and if they just wanted them to get better enough they would.

So, to answer your question, and please know that this is my OPINION, based on my knowledge and experience working with people with mental illness, some of which have been institutionalized, suicide is a CHOICE that a person made when they could not see beyond the immediate issues in their life. Most times there has been some type of mental illness, usually depression, that has been either untreated or poorly treated. These two unfortunate things overwhelm the person and they make the choice that they can't handle it. God has given us free will and these people have exercised that free will, often to the pain of the people they have left behind. I don't think it is God's will for these people to end their lives but they choose to.

I believe still what I originally wrote, that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but it is up to us to ask for help if we are feeling overwhelmed. I never stated or meant to imply that we have to handle it by ourselves.

Emjay

Gotcha!

Emjay

Hopefully life will turn around for you. You will be in my thoughts.

Can you find any community service, church, etc. that might help you get back up again?

Barbm

as another survivor of suicide (lost my brother in '05) I can honestly say I've learned A LOT about mental illness and suicide over the last 4 years. You know what weezie- suicide, like sh** happens. life sucks and then some people choose to die. It is the choice of the person to commit suicide- I've realized there's no sense in trying to understand the why- it as their CHOICE and we get to live with the consequences.

Mental illness I've learned is a chemical imbalance. I say if someone needs a prescription to take the edge off life- go right ahead and take them, I'll even help you open the bottle and get you a glass of water.

How people choose to deal with their life's ups and downs is up to them. It's not up to me to look down upon someone who is in a mental institution for being unable to cope- I'd rather have them there getting treatment than on the street waiting for them to snap and causing harm to others.

We all have our soapbox- I am a HUGE fan of education for suicide awareness- it's the only positive thing I can think of that came out of my brother's death. Reduce the stigma- let people know there's help out there- they just have to ask for it.

(My family fractured after his death too- try holidays, etc. where ALL of your siblings and parents are together celebrating- but you. You can't attend because you stood up for what you KNOW is right and was accused of wrongdoing- even after being proven right, they still won't talk to you. I'm wondering if I will be allowed to go to my parent's funerals when they die.)

You have a computer- google it, research it, go to the website for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention- start to turn something negative into something positive- hope for the person that needs it.

(jumping off my soapbox now)

Barb

P.S. I've reinvented myself several times too- divorce, job loss, etc. But I figure it's up to me to find my next dollar- not to put my hand out for it. I stay positive, surround myself with positive people and convey a positive attitude to others. Hand me my rose colored glasses any day!

trupeach

I was only kidding.......... If you have read any past posts of mine I am living the worst nightmare a mother could have. For the past 6 months it has been a living HELL. On top of which I am 54 and as poor as a church mouse, if you read my post I also wrote I was 20 something??????? I was reinventing me..............it was a dream.