jmoore

Ditto. I would rather spend the time with my guests and clean up after they leave. I prefer to take care of the mess before I go to bed as not to have to wake up and face it the next morning.

sewvicki

I welcome all the help I can get when prepariing food for a big gathering....family for instance. As a matter of fact, I have an embroidered towel in my kitchen that says, "Happiness is a Kitchen full of Family". There was a time when I could do it all, but in my mid 70's, it's more than I can handle and I am not ashamed to admit it.

NJ Quilter

I'm another of the 'helping is watching' club. Sure, tote things into the kitchen for me but beyond that, please don't 'help'. Like many, the working part of my kitchen is small so more than one person just too many folks. Plus it's quicker and easier for me to do things myself than to explain to anyone else.

maviskw

I love help in the kitchen when a large group is here. In about 5 minutes, most of it is finished and we can go and have fun together. And all of us really enjoy seeing the mess get 90 percent cleaned up. It's also much easier to deal with the mess before it get dried on.

Onebyone

I can't think of anything worse then having the dread of dishes to clean up after a big family meal. I put cooking pans, etc in dishwasher as I go. I use the nicer disposable plates, bowls, and glasses for big meals. Even the serving dishes are disposables. Really the only thing I have to wash is the silverware. Dealing with leftovers is about the only time I spend on clean up. During the week DH and I use paper disposables.

Bobbielinks

I am so very glad I am not alone in this! My kitchen is very small. I can open the frig door, keep it open with one hand and set something on the counter across the room with the other hand. (I'm not kidding!) I most always have the meal prepared ; and the dishes, glasses, and serving items carried into the dinningroom before the guests/family arrive. After meals family always carry items back to kitchen even though for the last 50 years I have asked them to just leave it and let me take care of it. I usually empty the dishwasher that they loaded with the dirsty dishes and do the dishes by hand with the other cleanup after they leave.

Aurora

My kitchen is my other creative space. I do not want anyone in my kitchen with or without me being in there. I have had equipment distroyed by my sister and her husband. I prefer to clean up my kitchen by myself. I tend to do cleanup while I cook. So all pots and pans are cleaned and put way as I cook. My kitchen is eat in and I do not like to have a mess in there while I am eating.

PB from MN

A different perspective here. I am extremely efficient in the kitchen and I usually have not had assistance. With that said, I know it was my responsibility to teach my sons to cook and to be independent, (in their eyes it was forced labor). My daughter-in-law has complimented me on teaching my oldest so much as it makes it easier for her. On holidays, my husband and 2 sons are tasked with dishes after we eat as a gift to me (again forced labor as it is my idea). I do not have a dishwasher and use real plates etc, though I have as many dishes done beforehand as possible. It is good for them to see the work that is involved.

I had a dear friend tell me that if I ever wanted to pass the torch of holidays, I needed to start preparing them early or it would never happen. She has tried in her family without any success for many years. It was really hard to have someone else bring a food item for holidays and help in the kitchen, but I look at it as planting the seeds for the future.

As a child, we always did the dishes and helped when we were at a relatives house. None of us would not have gotten by without helping. I was shocked when my husband and I were dating and he told me, I was the first one to ever help his mom. We were the 5th wedding of the kids.

So even though it can be hard, we need to teach the future generations and we need to think about it when we hear, someone was never taught to do something, perhaps they were never allowed and not everyone is good at teaching. If I am somewhere and I offer and they decline, I do respect their wishes.

Quilter 53

I am in total agreement with PB from MN.

Some of my fondest memories from my childhood is time spent in the kitchen with Grandma, Mom, Aunts and Cousin whoever. Sure there were times we were tripping all over each other, but their were also many more times when the conversations turned into lasting memories. Usually before we were done eating, someone would claim the right to wash, another to rinse and the "short straw " had to dry.
My grandma taught me to peel a potato, my mom taught me to bake, my aunt taught me how not to bake, everything was always undercooked when she did it. If I hadn't been allowed in the kitchen, I'm not sure I would be much of a cook today at all.
In my kitchen I welcome any help. Sometimes it's not much help as there can be a bigger mess than if I just did it myself versus letting the grands do it. But if there is one moment of connection that becomes a lasting memory, I'm all for it!

Tothill

My issue with my former mil is that I would give her at time to arrive and she would show up hours early and want to be entertained. When I am preparing a big meal I wait until it is mostly done before I have a quick shower to freshen up before guests arrive. My ex was no help as he did not like spending time with his Mum and would hide in his office until the meal was on the table. Worse, she would get my bil to bring her, so I have him moping around too.

I am more than happy to have others help with the clean up. Before I had a dishwasher I rented all the dishes, utensils, table linens, etc. In the beginning it cost $1 per place setting and you only have to rinse the dishes, not wash them. Once we got the dishwasher, I bought a set of 16 dinner plates and would wash them. I also told the men that they were responsible for dish washing and kitchen clean up. Somehow the thought I was kidding. Nope, they had to all get up and clean up.

My brother is fussy about how his dishwasher is filled. If he is home I rinse and stack the dishes for him to load them. If he is not home, I run it through however I loaded it.