Visit and/or Decorate Grave Sites of Loved Ones
06-01-2022, 07:15 PM
#2
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 2,867
No. I did visit my mother's grave on Mother's Day when we lived in the area, but I haven't traveled to do so. My father was military so Memorial Day would be the time to visit his grave, but I haven't done so. My husband was cremated so there is no grave.
06-01-2022, 11:26 PM
#3
Super Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 9,556
This was actually something I was thinking about recently, after a friend of mine was telling me how upset she was to discover that the cemetery where her family's graves are had become neglected and quite overgrown over the past year. I realized that most of my family members who are deceased are either buried out of state, or they requested cremation and their ashes scattered. So no, we don't do this as a family custom.
However, I take comfort in the thought that through the Boy Scouts, I had the opportunity to teach my children respect and reverence. Every year for Memorial Day, our troop held a ceremony and placed American flags at every military grave in one of our local cemeteries, and at Christmas time we do the same with wreaths.
However, I take comfort in the thought that through the Boy Scouts, I had the opportunity to teach my children respect and reverence. Every year for Memorial Day, our troop held a ceremony and placed American flags at every military grave in one of our local cemeteries, and at Christmas time we do the same with wreaths.
06-02-2022, 02:58 AM
#5
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Portage, Michigan
Posts: 7,792
Yes, I do visit the graves sites of my grandmother, her daughter, who is a namesake for one of my daughters and my parents. I seldom make it to the cemeteries on Memorial Day. This has been my time to pass on family history to my children and now my grandchildren.
06-02-2022, 03:22 AM
#6
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2022
Location: Northeast
Posts: 682
Yes. My husband and myself put geraniums in urns in front of three of the grave sites at the cemetery just before Memorial Day every year and pick the urns up and bring them back to the house for the winter, every fall.
The graves are, buried on one side of a stone, my husbands grandparents on his mother's side where one urn goes, the other side of the stone, my husbands parents, where the second urn goes, and we'll also have our ashes interred there. Our names and birth years are already on the stone- strange seeing them there but, when we had his parents names engraved on the stone when we interred his parents ashes, we had our names added as well so they would be the same script etc.)
And, then on the third grave site, on the other side of the cemetery, it is for my husband's relatives on his father's side. His father's side are buried (in two locations) in one large plot that has 18 graves around one huge stone in the center, the first burial was in 1775's and the last burial that filled the plot was just after the 2nd World War. There is another large family plot from his father's side in the older part of the cemetery, where the stones are all so weathered they are all but unreadable. The records for the cemetery at that time just list burials not plot locations, that was started in the 1600's (his family was one of the first settlers to arrive in the 1600's) My husband is the last of his family's line on both his mother's side and father's side.
I'm originally from a different state, and the family graves on my side are basically scattered in numerous cemeteries throughout that state. I was only at one site as a child once when there was a burial, graveside funeral at that cemetery. My side of the family wasn't the type to visit gravesites or keep up with family history.
The graves are, buried on one side of a stone, my husbands grandparents on his mother's side where one urn goes, the other side of the stone, my husbands parents, where the second urn goes, and we'll also have our ashes interred there. Our names and birth years are already on the stone- strange seeing them there but, when we had his parents names engraved on the stone when we interred his parents ashes, we had our names added as well so they would be the same script etc.)
And, then on the third grave site, on the other side of the cemetery, it is for my husband's relatives on his father's side. His father's side are buried (in two locations) in one large plot that has 18 graves around one huge stone in the center, the first burial was in 1775's and the last burial that filled the plot was just after the 2nd World War. There is another large family plot from his father's side in the older part of the cemetery, where the stones are all so weathered they are all but unreadable. The records for the cemetery at that time just list burials not plot locations, that was started in the 1600's (his family was one of the first settlers to arrive in the 1600's) My husband is the last of his family's line on both his mother's side and father's side.
I'm originally from a different state, and the family graves on my side are basically scattered in numerous cemeteries throughout that state. I was only at one site as a child once when there was a burial, graveside funeral at that cemetery. My side of the family wasn't the type to visit gravesites or keep up with family history.
06-02-2022, 04:00 AM
#7
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 41,535
I made sure the stones were laid properly but after that just occasional upkeep. I have told my children to make sure my stone is put in but after that, no need to visit. My physical body may be there but the important part is not there.
06-02-2022, 05:37 AM
#8
Super Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: SW Washington USA
Posts: 4,497
we have a family plot about 2 hours north of us. Our stones are already there. I take great comfort in the upkeep and visits. This last visit 3 weeks ago I laid tiles on either side of my folks stone for their parents.
On memorial day Rob and I went to a military ceremony at the local cemetery and I took flowers for my good friends laid there.
we didn't have children, so perhaps that is the appeal of looking back.
On memorial day Rob and I went to a military ceremony at the local cemetery and I took flowers for my good friends laid there.
we didn't have children, so perhaps that is the appeal of looking back.
06-02-2022, 09:31 AM
#10
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Medina NY/Naples, FL
Posts: 1,668
We live in a house that is 145 years old. I found where the previous owners from the 1920's are and I went to their graves and removed the moss and lichen and cleaned them up as there is nobody left to do it.
