Are you offended if someone doesn't display your gift?
#92
If I were going to be totally honest here among my fellow quilting friends, I'd have to say yes, I get somewhat offended when I spend weeks to months agonizing over patterns, fabrics and hours of work to make someone a special quilt and they don't display it or use it. I made a beautiful quilt for my mom and step dad and every time I visit it is neatly folded in the corner while she has these ratty old throw blankets laid out over the sofa. That kind of irritates me. I have made quilts for my grandkids and my DIL has made it a point to tell me that she is not displaying them right now because they are selling their house and needed to de-clutter. But she had asked me to put rod pockets on them because she wanted to hang them up in their bedrooms when they find a new house. So I try not to get upset about it, but I want my work to be valued too. But once I give it away, I guess you have to just let it go. If they are not loved by the person I gave it to, at least they are loved by me!! That's all that matters.
#93
A couple of years ago a dear friend commented a couple of times that she would like a quilt, too, when I was showing her pictures of my latest. I knew that she liked contemporary design and had an idea of colors she would like, but I was still hesitant to make all the choices of color, pattern, etc. and put all the work into it unless I was pretty sure she would like it. Finally I gave her a card on her birthday with the promise that I would make her a quilt. I told her that I wanted to take her out to look at fabrics and patterns, take her out to lunch, and make a fun day of it. I knew she would like helping plan it and that way I could be sure that I wasn't putting tons of work into something she wouldn't like.
When the day came that we planned to get together she had a conflict, car trouble or something, and so we rescheduled. The 2nd time that we planned to get together she forgot that we had made those plans and we weren't able to get together again. Now, she was a dear friend and I knew that her memory sometimes failed her, but I was not sure what to do next. Naturally I was a little hurt and really didn't know whether the memory was the problem or that she just didn't want a quilt after all. I decided to just let it go.
Some time later when I mentioned what I was working on she mumbled "I'm never going to get that quilt." I was very surprised when she said that and figured I would give it another try. Unfortunately she became very ill not very long after that and passed away a month ago. I think of her often and feel the pain of losing a dear friend as well as the sadness of never having made her quilt.
I know we consider carefully when we make a quilt for someone and try to match their tastes, but it is just like any gift we give. We do our best to make it something they will like and hope it is right. Then we move forward and see what happens. I have seen someone's eyes light up when she opened the baby quilt that I made and also felt a little unhappy when another young woman thanked me for the "blanket." My daughter is thrilled with the quilt I made her and tells me all the time how much she likes it. We just keep doing our best, enjoying the making part of it, giving it with love, and trying to share our work with people who will be touched and appreciative. Beyond that, we have no control over the recipient's reaction.
When the day came that we planned to get together she had a conflict, car trouble or something, and so we rescheduled. The 2nd time that we planned to get together she forgot that we had made those plans and we weren't able to get together again. Now, she was a dear friend and I knew that her memory sometimes failed her, but I was not sure what to do next. Naturally I was a little hurt and really didn't know whether the memory was the problem or that she just didn't want a quilt after all. I decided to just let it go.
Some time later when I mentioned what I was working on she mumbled "I'm never going to get that quilt." I was very surprised when she said that and figured I would give it another try. Unfortunately she became very ill not very long after that and passed away a month ago. I think of her often and feel the pain of losing a dear friend as well as the sadness of never having made her quilt.
I know we consider carefully when we make a quilt for someone and try to match their tastes, but it is just like any gift we give. We do our best to make it something they will like and hope it is right. Then we move forward and see what happens. I have seen someone's eyes light up when she opened the baby quilt that I made and also felt a little unhappy when another young woman thanked me for the "blanket." My daughter is thrilled with the quilt I made her and tells me all the time how much she likes it. We just keep doing our best, enjoying the making part of it, giving it with love, and trying to share our work with people who will be touched and appreciative. Beyond that, we have no control over the recipient's reaction.
#94
It's not just about quilts, it's about gifts in general. I am telling the truth when I say I haven't gotten a thank you for any baby gift, wedding gift or shower gift for the past 20 years. I rarely give presents for those occassions anymore and that is why. Manners are "too old fashioned" it seems, so for me unless my very close family, so are presents
#96
I made a dresdan plate quilt for my daughter..and when I gave it to her,she responded.."I don't really like it" I didn't say a word about it..but I was so hurt. I kept it for myself. I am not going to do it again. Now I quilt for me and for the swaps on this board. Board members really know what giving is all about.
Peace and Blessings
Peace and Blessings
#97
I once gave my DH a pineapple quilte in red and white (her bedroom carpet was red) for Christmas. She opened it a said "My it's red isn't it" and never said anything more. I later learned that she was so overwhelmed by the gift she couldn't speak. She cherishes it, but doesn't use it. She has packed it away so "no harm" will come to it until her children are bigger.
Maybe I'm being nieave but I believe her?
Maybe I'm being nieave but I believe her?
#98
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 195
The only thing that bothers me is to see a quilt I made and gave to them on the floor for the dogs. Put it in a closet, give it to someone else but don't throw it down on the floor for the dogs. That makes me upset.
#100
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: michigan
Posts: 630
I jokingly give quilts to my grand children and tell them to put it in the trunk of their car. use at the beach, for picnics, what ever,,, I also tell them I am NOT responsible for what goes on top of them, or under them. and use good judgement .... they ususally laugh, and say "oh Gramdma, I will use it on my bed!: so far that is where I have seen them all....... LOL LOL
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