SewOK

Make a big effort to be a part of your expected grandchild's life. I was in my beauty salon yesterday morning having my hair trimmed and upon talking with a foster mother of what I thought was a small baby boy learned that the little boy is 17 months old and looks much younger because he was taken from a mother who was neglecting this baby and he was ver malnourished and neglected until the foster mother got him. Please, please make the choice to be a part of your granddaughter's and her baby's life rather than opt for a possible situation like this. God will bless you greathly for extending love, comfort and acceptance at this time in this young woman's life.

kat112000

I was 24 when I got pregnant with my daughter. I was not married to the father, we were living together though and had been for three years. We thought of getting married, but didn't feel it was right to get married just because we were pregnant. We talked to my mom about it and she said we were already married in her eyes as we were committed to one another. We had our second child a year after. We have been together for 23 years now. Our daughter is 17 and our son is 16.

My hubby, yes I refer to him as that, had a horrible childhood with divorced parents and a mother that married frequently so he always said marriage was the first step to divorce.

Life is too short for should have, would have, could have, spoil that baby with love and affection!!

QuickStitch

I happen to agree with Betty62 as the same thing happened to us, and we are so close to that little boy, now 4, I am so glad we were supportive. Couldn't be happier.

QuiltingCrazie

It's ok not to be happy about it and honestly most young women know how the older generations feel about single motherhood. I was a single teen parent I had my oldest daughter at 16. I'm 34 now. She is going to be 18 in July...so excited BTW!! Please keep this in mind though.....when a woman gets pregnant in this generation so many people are negative, doesn't seem to matter is they are single or married. I always like to make sure regardless what I feel I'm happy for them! She has heard all the negative you can image from her friends she needs support from her family. Instead focus on how you can help her with financial advice because I guarantee she's been asked how she's going to afford everything but very few actually help a young woman make a plan. if your thrifty now the time to teach it to your granddaughter! One of the best lessons my gran and mom taught me was how to thrifty and make my own baby food, yes cloth diapers are still used, no you don't have to buy the 10 dollar bottles and they only thing "new" a baby needs is a car seat to insure it was never in a car accident. Sorry for the long post. Rachel

quiltmau

as the child-and the one 'blamed' for ruining my mothers life!-please do not judge the baby. Try to love her and accept her and be there for her. My grandmother was there for me and gave me the stability needed in the first part of my life. After my mother married I was considered the red-headed step child and never really accepted into the 'new' family.
Did I screw up-of course I did-but I never blamed other for my messes. My mother still blames me and other for her problems. I now feel sorry for her-she is a very unhappy lady.
Please, please give the baby the support and feel of love even if the circumstances are not ideal.

Dawnmarieodya

Don't even know if you will read this but it is not easy to be in this situation.I believe as a strong Christian that it is sin to live out of wedlock and Rev tells of the consequences.My son and ex daughter-in-law were together 9 yrs befor they married.We were not happy about the whole situation and refused to go to a baby shower to celebrate the results of their sin.My son lived with the mother for nine years and had 3 sons.We talked him into marriage with the girl for the safety of the 3 boys.It lasted just under two years. Her abuse of the oldest one was the cause of her having to leave the home.My son has been raising the 3 boys since 2003.The courts wouldnt let him have them unless they had been married.We love all 3 boys and do all we can. But that is where prayer comes in.We did buy and still do things for the boys.You can love the baby and mother but be honest and let her know how you feel and give your reasons and concerns.What we learned is not to let this become an issue that because of your faith that you are preseaved as the bad person.My husband agreed with me in all the issues because of his walk also.If you have one please include him and be firm in your beliefs and God will guide and help you.We will be praying for all concerned.God will have final say.

noveltyjunkie

Mau I am so sorry this happened to you. Sadly your story is not that unusual. I am glad your grandmother was there for you and that you have come to a point where you can just feel sorry for your mother. As you no doubt realise- her warped views are her burden to carry, not yours.

jojo47

Betty, I couldn't agree more! Our third child became pregnant out of wedlock when she was 19, and we told her she was loved, and would support her decision, whatever it was, to keep our grandchild or surrender for adoption. We were elated when she told us she was bringing him home! He is soon-to-be 15 years old, and is a fine young man. Our daughter is now married to the father, and they have another son and a daughter. My mother's comment on learning her granddaughter was pregnant was "Thank God she didn't have an abortion!" Our daughter's reply was that abortion wasn't even considered. We are proud of her and her family!

raptureready

My stepdaughter has two children/two baby daddies and just miscarried the third with the third daddy. When she called to say that she was pregnant again we just said, "Be sure and let us know when the baby's born, we'll be looking forward to meeting and holding him or her." There's not a lot that we as parents or grandparents can say when they're grown. We don't approve of her lifestyle and she knows that we don't but she still belongs to us and the babies can't help the decisions of the mothers. Be glad that she's not opting for abortion and look forward to seeing the baby. Then make a quilt.

raptureready

We need to be careful how we judge unwed mothers. After all, Jesus's mother was one----she was very young, pregnant, unwed and living in a time when she could have been stoned to death for it.