Advice please ...?
#141
Originally Posted by calano1
(Edited)
Oh dear .... so many misunderstandings ...!!
I did not elaborate in the OP, because I did not think it was needed.
I did indicate that after I gave my FDIL the sewing machine, she sewed little projects on her own initiative.
I neglected to say that we have gone shopping for fabric twice, and that she often indicates that she likes sewing.
But because she is a shy and timid girl, I am quite careful of dominating her into doing what I suggest ...
Besides, my son is quite protective of her .... so he won't stand for it ... :lol:
This whole thread shows how we each interpret what is said/read so differently! My gosh! If folks could respond from a gentler/loving perspective life could be so beautiful and easy.. Bless your heart for reaching out to what, I'm sure! you thought were kindhearted ladies. At my ripe old age, I see less and less kindness and so much anger and lashing out. I know that all you want is for your DIL to know you and love you, and I'll just bet she already does!
If you have read the message with an open mind, you would have noticed I said that:
I have been pondering this issue for more than a year ...
AND
I DON'T want to push it ....
I did not think every little detail of our relationship was needed to be known in order for anyone to give me some QUILTING advice ... which is why I posted in Main and not chit-chat.
I was quite flabbergasted when I read some of the posts, but I immediately recognised that these people had some bad experiences and was just trying to warn me.
So ... I am sorry for those of you who have/had trouble with your MIL, but please ... do not jump to conclusions ... not everyone is like your MIL ...
In fact ... contrary to popular belief, some MIL's are quite nice ... :)
Thankfully there were some who understood without having to know all the nitty gritty details.
And THAT is what makes the QB so great!!!
I am writing this one off as good experience ...
Be warned ...
In future my posts will be so elaborate, it may take ages to read!!!!! :):):):)
Oh dear .... so many misunderstandings ...!!
I did not elaborate in the OP, because I did not think it was needed.
I did indicate that after I gave my FDIL the sewing machine, she sewed little projects on her own initiative.
I neglected to say that we have gone shopping for fabric twice, and that she often indicates that she likes sewing.
But because she is a shy and timid girl, I am quite careful of dominating her into doing what I suggest ...
Besides, my son is quite protective of her .... so he won't stand for it ... :lol:
This whole thread shows how we each interpret what is said/read so differently! My gosh! If folks could respond from a gentler/loving perspective life could be so beautiful and easy.. Bless your heart for reaching out to what, I'm sure! you thought were kindhearted ladies. At my ripe old age, I see less and less kindness and so much anger and lashing out. I know that all you want is for your DIL to know you and love you, and I'll just bet she already does!
If you have read the message with an open mind, you would have noticed I said that:
I have been pondering this issue for more than a year ...
AND
I DON'T want to push it ....
I did not think every little detail of our relationship was needed to be known in order for anyone to give me some QUILTING advice ... which is why I posted in Main and not chit-chat.
I was quite flabbergasted when I read some of the posts, but I immediately recognised that these people had some bad experiences and was just trying to warn me.
So ... I am sorry for those of you who have/had trouble with your MIL, but please ... do not jump to conclusions ... not everyone is like your MIL ...
In fact ... contrary to popular belief, some MIL's are quite nice ... :)
Thankfully there were some who understood without having to know all the nitty gritty details.
And THAT is what makes the QB so great!!!
I am writing this one off as good experience ...
Be warned ...
In future my posts will be so elaborate, it may take ages to read!!!!! :):):):)
#142
Enjoy the differences you have.....don't force her to try and enjoy your hobby...but let her know that if ever she wants to have a go you would love to help.
Each of us are different and she may never love sewing.
My husband loves music and wouldn't know what a sewing needle was for.....I really don't like music and would much rather listen to a play on the radio......We have two daughters....one who sews and one who loves music and will never sew I don't think........I love them both equally and I love them for being different !
......however I am concerned in your originally post that you stated
"She is truly a lovely young girl, but she has not learned to use her time wisely, or to make anything with her hands ... "
.......I would be very sad if someone thought that of my daughter who doesn't want to sew !!!
Each of us are different and she may never love sewing.
My husband loves music and wouldn't know what a sewing needle was for.....I really don't like music and would much rather listen to a play on the radio......We have two daughters....one who sews and one who loves music and will never sew I don't think........I love them both equally and I love them for being different !
......however I am concerned in your originally post that you stated
"She is truly a lovely young girl, but she has not learned to use her time wisely, or to make anything with her hands ... "
.......I would be very sad if someone thought that of my daughter who doesn't want to sew !!!
#143
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Port Lavaca, TX
Posts: 1,276
Originally Posted by calano1
I have pondered the following questions for almost a year now, and I still am not sure if I must or if I should leave it alone ...
My future DIL is the topic of discussion here ..
How do I get this young lady to take some interest in quilting / sewing /needlework???
She is truly a lovely young girl, but she has not learned to use her time wisely, or to make anything with her hands ...
She thinks a sewing machine is just for mending or fixing the odd seam ... :shock:
I have given her my old sewing machine and some fabric with which she made a lunch bag and an apron, so I think the interest might grow if I can just get the right project ....
So....here are my questions:
If I make up a kit with fabric and a pattern --- which patterns are interesting?
Shall I make it a "block of the month"-thing and give her a kit each month? Like a sampler?
Or must I keep to small projects that finishes fast so she will stay interested?
I would really like it if she takes an interest in quilting ... then I will have someone to leave all my sewing toys to!! hehehehe :) :lol: :wink:
But at the same time ...I don't want her to feel I am pushing her into something she doesn't want to do ...
I have read on QB how some of you got your GD's involved in quilting .... so I will wait for the wise women of the QB to speak ... please .... :) :)
My future DIL is the topic of discussion here ..
How do I get this young lady to take some interest in quilting / sewing /needlework???
She is truly a lovely young girl, but she has not learned to use her time wisely, or to make anything with her hands ...
She thinks a sewing machine is just for mending or fixing the odd seam ... :shock:
I have given her my old sewing machine and some fabric with which she made a lunch bag and an apron, so I think the interest might grow if I can just get the right project ....
So....here are my questions:
If I make up a kit with fabric and a pattern --- which patterns are interesting?
Shall I make it a "block of the month"-thing and give her a kit each month? Like a sampler?
Or must I keep to small projects that finishes fast so she will stay interested?
I would really like it if she takes an interest in quilting ... then I will have someone to leave all my sewing toys to!! hehehehe :) :lol: :wink:
But at the same time ...I don't want her to feel I am pushing her into something she doesn't want to do ...
I have read on QB how some of you got your GD's involved in quilting .... so I will wait for the wise women of the QB to speak ... please .... :) :)
#144
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Boston
Posts: 225
I offered to make curtains for my DIL so we had to go shopping together for fabric. I won't say the interest 'took off', but she is now making additional curtains and has asked about quilting as I have made them for the children. She also made a simple dress for her daughter -- it's a start.
#145
Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
I wish my sister had an interest too but she doesn't. But we have fun with other things and she loves what I make her :D:D
So don't push her, My 2 GD's are yet to be shown properly the advantages of quilt making.
#146
Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Vancouver, WA
Posts: 272
Your first child to marry? :D Relax and let like interests develop, if they will, but she's marrying your son and not you. I know it's hard for us who love fabric to comprehend, but some people are interested only in the finished product -- as I am with gardening.
#147
My Mom didn't sew (only fixed things) Both grandmothers did. I learned at a 12 (making clothes) Neither of my daughters are interested. It is too easy to have MOM do it.
I didn't take up quilting until I was about 40. As to your DIL, leave her be. She will ask for your help when she is ready. Meanwhile, show her all the great stuff you make and gift her with something once in a while.
I didn't take up quilting until I was about 40. As to your DIL, leave her be. She will ask for your help when she is ready. Meanwhile, show her all the great stuff you make and gift her with something once in a while.
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