a sensitive quilt question
#131
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 606
Originally Posted by sahm4605
okay ladies, this is a very sensitive subject. My SIL's mom just passed away saturday. Not to get into the details but she took her own life. I am wanting to do something for my SIL and was thinking about making a memory quit for her. But I don't know if it is a good idea. there are many issues with their relationship, but she was her mom. Do you ladies think that it would be a good idea to make a memory quilt for my sil, even though her mom took her own life? (it was do to a life long battle of horrible depression at least that is what I have been told) I am even hesitent to ask because it is a very touchy subject for me as well as for my SIL. Do you ladies think that this is a good idea or should I not go there?
#132
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Some where in way out West Texas
Posts: 3,041
Originally Posted by sahm4605
okay ladies, this is a very sensitive subject. My SIL's mom just passed away saturday. Not to get into the details but she took her own life. I am wanting to do something for my SIL and was thinking about making a memory quit for her. But I don't know if it is a good idea. there are many issues with their relationship, but she was her mom. Do you ladies think that it would be a good idea to make a memory quilt for my sil, even though her mom took her own life? (it was do to a life long battle of horrible depression at least that is what I have been told) I am even hesitent to ask because it is a very touchy subject for me as well as for my SIL. Do you ladies think that this is a good idea or should I not go there?
#135
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 43
Originally Posted by sahm4605
what is a comfort quilt? one made with bits of her cloths? or just a pretty quilt that is good for cuddling?
#136
Originally Posted by sahm4605
I think that I will give my bro a call and see if he can get a couple of good pics of her for a memory quilt for maybe next Christmas. I think that a cuddle quilt will work good now. I think when I call him I will ask him what colors she likes. Or if he knows what colors her mom likes. I have a quilt top done that I wasn't sure who to give it to yet and might just use that top if he thinks she will like the colors. It is actually my avatar quilt.thank you all for the help. I will aslo see if I can get a couple of her shirts that my sil remembers most or likes and use them for the memory quilt for her. if my bro thinks it is a good idea. I just want to get something done by tomorrow night because I am leaving at around 6:30 am to drive to OK for the funeral.
#139
Your intent is loving, but make it definitely a comfort quilt! Having had a painful childhood due to a mother's mental illness issues, the last thing I would ever have wanted at the time of her death would be any reminders. Even now, years later, this is NOT something I'd want. A comfort quilt says "I care about you" and is not intrusive. Let your poor SIL have time and space and peace; not all relationships need to be memorialized. Give her a loving hug and a comfort quilt.
#140
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Central Willamette Valley, Oregon, USA
Posts: 7,695
I think maybe just a cheerful quilt for now to lighten her day. Even a small one, that you make just to wrap around herself, would be great for someone who has a family history like that. Depression is 'lifted' when we begin to believe that you have value. Give her proof of HER value to you. You could make her one that memorializes a warm fuzzy memory that you two share? Maybe later, when the 'wounds' begin to heal, discuss a memory of her mom? IMHO :) {HUG} You are a good friend to her.
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