Dreaming of owning a home....
#52
Originally Posted by sailsablazin
I agree with froggy,,,,you have a right to what you want out of life...Forget about the nagging wife issue..whoever came up with that anyway????
#53
When he understands that the interest and property taxes you pay are usually tax deductible, he may agree and look into it. Sometimes we have to take the initiative and do the first move. Come with numbers. Show him last year's taxes recalculated with the amount you paid for rent used as mortgage interest and figure out what property and school taxes go for in your area. He may like to see how much you get back. In my opinion, the benefit and return in taxes is higher than the chance of the value going down. This only affects you if you are selling it.
#54
I want to thank everyone who has given me some wonderful advice. I thank you all for your support. Unfortunately my choice of words, such as "consent", has painted such an awful image of my wonderful husband. This is the man who took care of me hand and foot during my mastectomy when I was only 28 yrs old when he could have easily walked away from me. But yet even after 5 years have past he still makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world although I have a scar on my chest. When I posted my message I felt I could receive some good advice from my QB friends. Thankfully I did and I truly appreciate the words of support and encouragment. But I should have known that I also would receive some very critical and judgmental opinions.
#55
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Spring Lake, Michigan
Posts: 978
I (and other board members, I am sure) never meant to be judgemental. We just feel that you deserve some of your dreams to be fulfilled also. If you want that house, go after it! Start to check things out and show him what you have found. If you find a house that you like....have him go to the next viewing. If he is like my DH, he does not want to do the legwork but will listen if I do all of the prep work. If I make all of the plans and get everything ready for a trip,,,he will go and enjoy himself, but will not help with the preparation. Then we make a decision together. That's how it is here.....just think that he is not interested until it is presented on a platter. Might work for you???
#56
Power Poster
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 10,357
I echo sailsablazin's sentiments. I don't think the respondents (all female I believe) were truly critical or judgemental, just protective. Sometimes condensing our responses can make us seem less sympathetic. Between us all we have racked up a huge amount of experience, and many have had to deal with more than their fair share of difficulties. I know personally, if I can help another person avoid some of the dramas I've had to deal with I will...anyway, wishing you and your husband the best for the future.
#57
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: England
Posts: 2,365
Originally Posted by Mamagus
If you have to get "his consent" to look at a brochure, you are not in a very healthy relationship.
Do you work? Are you both saving? Seems to this old woman, that you have to do more than have a dream and if he isn't interested in your dreams then you have a huge problem.
Do you work? Are you both saving? Seems to this old woman, that you have to do more than have a dream and if he isn't interested in your dreams then you have a huge problem.
#58
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: England
Posts: 2,365
Ref above, if you ask a question you must expect people to give you their opinion, they do not feel that they are being judgemental but honest in their way as was I.
I was brought up after age of 3 by my G/parents ,my G/mother a v liberated Victorian lady and was NEVER dependant on her husband and made many decisions without him and "steered" him to her point of view. We owned our own house from 1955 when the fuedal lord of manor sold up and have been always brought up to consider renting property to be a total waste of money-------why pay rent and line another's pockets when the rent money will go greatly towards the mortgage, you can then after a time climb the property ladder and feel safe in your life.
I was brought up after age of 3 by my G/parents ,my G/mother a v liberated Victorian lady and was NEVER dependant on her husband and made many decisions without him and "steered" him to her point of view. We owned our own house from 1955 when the fuedal lord of manor sold up and have been always brought up to consider renting property to be a total waste of money-------why pay rent and line another's pockets when the rent money will go greatly towards the mortgage, you can then after a time climb the property ladder and feel safe in your life.
#60
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 276
If you are buying in Texas, when you are figuring your house payment (principal and interest) make sure you know what your property and school taxes will be because they are pretty high. Don't take anyone's word for it. Calculate it yourself so you aren't surprised with a huge back tax the 2nd year you are in your house. We had to pay back taxes plus the new rate and our house payment went up by $500 a month for a year and then $250 after that. What a bad surprise.
Good luck and I hope things work out the way you would like them to!
Good luck and I hope things work out the way you would like them to!
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