Family grading system - - -
08-21-2016, 06:15 AM
#23
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,886
Oh, Lynnie, how very sad. 
I hope you are now doing well. ((hugs))
I hope you are now doing well. ((hugs))
Originally Posted by lynnie
not in my house. if i didn't get threatened or cursed at or hit the moment I walked in the door, it was a good day for me.
My parents were very violent and my stepfather was a nightmare. Good thing he died 2 yrs ago, it was a happy day for me, When your abuses dies, you have to go to the funeral to make sure they are dead. He was fried! I was able to relax after that.
My parents were very violent and my stepfather was a nightmare. Good thing he died 2 yrs ago, it was a happy day for me, When your abuses dies, you have to go to the funeral to make sure they are dead. He was fried! I was able to relax after that.
08-21-2016, 10:42 AM
#24
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Idaho
Posts: 1,270
My mom was home with 7 kids. Dad was a long haul trucker. She didn't have lots of time to praise but we always knew it was there! Homework and chores were expected to be done, not something we debated over and got kudos for doing. Just the cost of being in a family. No body got an award for showing up. The times have so changed!
08-25-2016, 07:20 AM
#25
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Granville MA
Posts: 262
I don't remember any grading in my house. Mom was a high school substitute teacher. We just worked hard and as a family. Girls or boys were expected to do their best in whatever they were doing and there was no sexism in the tasks assigned. Everyone learned to cook, do dishes, change the oil in their vehicles, change a tire etc.
08-25-2016, 02:24 PM
#26
Power Poster
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,406
It was not like we had "report cards" - it was just subtle differences in acknowledgement of an achievement -
Examples:
You tried hard
Better luck next time
That turned out well
Very good
Super!
My Mom had been raised with criticism for "not doing something correctly" - but her Mom (my grandmother) never showed her "the right way" do do something - so Mom was very aware of how negative criticism could affect a person. If something could be done better/more easily - and she knew how to do it that way - she showed me how to do it.
Of course, I did have a few misadventures "on my own" - one time I tried baking brownies - got Mom's (abbreviated) recipe out - followed it exactly - only thing I did "wrong" - was that she doubled or tripled the recipe for the pan she always baked brownies in! Took a week to get those scorched brownies soaked off that pan!.
Examples:
You tried hard
Better luck next time
That turned out well
Very good
Super!
My Mom had been raised with criticism for "not doing something correctly" - but her Mom (my grandmother) never showed her "the right way" do do something - so Mom was very aware of how negative criticism could affect a person. If something could be done better/more easily - and she knew how to do it that way - she showed me how to do it.
Of course, I did have a few misadventures "on my own" - one time I tried baking brownies - got Mom's (abbreviated) recipe out - followed it exactly - only thing I did "wrong" - was that she doubled or tripled the recipe for the pan she always baked brownies in! Took a week to get those scorched brownies soaked off that pan!.
08-26-2016, 10:58 PM
#27
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: England Alton Towers
Posts: 6,674
I was just expected to do my beat. The same response came when I got 99% in maths and 5% in Spanish. There was no you could have done better etc or even well done . If it was your best that's great.
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