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Thread: Gifts versus 'Gift' Exchanges

  1. #1
    Power Poster
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    Gifts versus 'Gift' Exchanges

    How do you define a gift?

    To me, a gift is something that has been given with no expectation of anything back (a thank you would be nice to get back, though; unless something was given anonymously)

    Gift Exchanges are a whole different category - and if I had my druthers, they would be be banned.

    Why? For many people, the whole process of trying to find or make a gift is very stressful - then there is the 'value' issue - $5.00 for some people is a noticeable amount of money - for someone else in the family, $10,000 is chump change -

    For some families, they have chosen to do charity contributions instead of 'exchanging gifts'- which seems to work out fairly well.

  2. #2
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    Agree, Bearisgray! If you're buying a gift for an exchange where there are men and women, you really have to put some thought and time in to the purchase! I have stopped giving candles - too many older folks in the one group! Some kind of food is a safe out - if they don't eat it, they can at least share it with their friends and families.

  3. #3
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Hate 'em; I try never to get into one.
    No, I'm not a Christmas Bah Humbug.

    Jan in VA
    Jan in VA
    Living in the foothills
    peacefully colors my world.

  4. #4
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    Once again you and I are in agreement, Bearisgray. A gift is GIVEN. If it is expected, or you are TOLD who to buy for, and how much to spend, it is not a gift.

    If I give you a $50 gift card and you give me a $50 gift card, to me that is an exchange. And totally nonsensical.

  5. #5
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    I got out of this years ago.......with NO regrets. Would rather celebrate the reason for the season in my own way.

    delma

  6. #6
    Senior Member chaskaquilter's Avatar
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    When I supervised a unit of 8, I told them no gift exchange. We went out for a Christmas lunch together, each paid their own and then I gave them the rest of the afternoon off. This was much more appreciated than trying to come up with gifts for everyone. Never got into trouble from the higher ups for this either. I also stopped exchanging gifts with my senior friends. We decided the limited funds we had were to be used for our grandkids. I love it, no stuff I don't need and no stress finding stuff they don't need. I am retired now and we do try to get together for a lunch where we each pay our own and enjoy each others company. That is a great gift to me.

  7. #7
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    We used to do Secret Santa at work and I never participated. BUT when the day of the exchange came..guess what ..there was a gift for me....FROM ME. I just drew my own name and bought something for myself at JAs. lol
    If you don't work on it you'll never finish it.

  8. #8
    Super Member solstice3's Avatar
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    I don't care for gift exchanges and don't care much more for the "Chinese gift exchange" (please excuse me if the term is not politically correct!) I give a gift because I want to and also because it is somethingI want to give NOT because it is what they expect from me. As a member of a blended family, it irks me that DH's children and grandchildren have Amazon (etc) wish lists that we are required to select from AND never have time to spend with their father which breaks my heart. On the other hand, my DD says..."time with you is more important than gifts." Makes it a bit harder to find a material item but wouldn't trade the time together for anything. I am truly blessed and constantly pray that his family will see the light before he is gone.

  9. #9
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    I find that I have only one DIL that always writes a thank you even though it is an email. The others don't. So this one is the one that gets the "I'm just thinking of you" gift. Everyone gets a birthday gift. This year we aren't exchanging Christmas gifts, but the "I thought of you when I saw this" gift just seems to go to the one that says "Thank you." Strange how that works, isn't. It pays to have good manners and to be appreciative.

  10. #10
    Super Member cherrio's Avatar
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    I agree. Ill give a ten dollor gift card and get one in return . . . Why? I told my own kids (all grown) and siblings that this yr is so beyond tight that the grands and nephews under 18 will get gifts this yr. the kids can make homemade/handmade anything they like but I won't accept anything else. I am making things they have asked for and doing baking for my sister and glad to do it. I love to be helpful and love spend time with them; so far all are in agreement. My youngest daughter had to go to a MANDATORY party/meeting/gift card exchange at her bosses house this past weekend. She said it was very awkward.
    You never stand taller than when you stoop to help a child.

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