Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Results 1 to 19 of 19

Thread: Gifts versus 'Gift' Exchanges

  1. #1
    Power Poster
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    19,439

    Gifts versus 'Gift' Exchanges

    How do you define a gift?

    To me, a gift is something that has been given with no expectation of anything back (a thank you would be nice to get back, though; unless something was given anonymously)

    Gift Exchanges are a whole different category - and if I had my druthers, they would be be banned.

    Why? For many people, the whole process of trying to find or make a gift is very stressful - then there is the 'value' issue - $5.00 for some people is a noticeable amount of money - for someone else in the family, $10,000 is chump change -

    For some families, they have chosen to do charity contributions instead of 'exchanging gifts'- which seems to work out fairly well.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    york county, PA
    Posts
    944
    Agree, Bearisgray! If you're buying a gift for an exchange where there are men and women, you really have to put some thought and time in to the purchase! I have stopped giving candles - too many older folks in the one group! Some kind of food is a safe out - if they don't eat it, they can at least share it with their friends and families.

  3. #3
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Piedmont Virginia in the Foothills of the Blue Ridge Mtns.
    Posts
    8,201
    Hate 'em; I try never to get into one.
    No, I'm not a Christmas Bah Humbug.

    Jan in VA
    Jan in VA
    Living in the foothills
    peacefully colors my world.
    http://www.quiltingboard.com/members...bums19552.html

  4. #4
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    5,895
    Once again you and I are in agreement, Bearisgray. A gift is GIVEN. If it is expected, or you are TOLD who to buy for, and how much to spend, it is not a gift.

    If I give you a $50 gift card and you give me a $50 gift card, to me that is an exchange. And totally nonsensical.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    in my stash mostly
    Posts
    887
    I got out of this years ago.......with NO regrets. Would rather celebrate the reason for the season in my own way.

    delma

  6. #6
    Senior Member chaskaquilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Chaska MN
    Posts
    355
    When I supervised a unit of 8, I told them no gift exchange. We went out for a Christmas lunch together, each paid their own and then I gave them the rest of the afternoon off. This was much more appreciated than trying to come up with gifts for everyone. Never got into trouble from the higher ups for this either. I also stopped exchanging gifts with my senior friends. We decided the limited funds we had were to be used for our grandkids. I love it, no stuff I don't need and no stress finding stuff they don't need. I am retired now and we do try to get together for a lunch where we each pay our own and enjoy each others company. That is a great gift to me.

  7. #7
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    New Mexico
    Posts
    1,587
    We used to do Secret Santa at work and I never participated. BUT when the day of the exchange came..guess what ..there was a gift for me....FROM ME. I just drew my own name and bought something for myself at JAs. lol
    If you don't work on it you'll never finish it.

  8. #8
    Power Poster solstice3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Citrus County, Florida
    Posts
    10,389
    I don't care for gift exchanges and don't care much more for the "Chinese gift exchange" (please excuse me if the term is not politically correct!) I give a gift because I want to and also because it is somethingI want to give NOT because it is what they expect from me. As a member of a blended family, it irks me that DH's children and grandchildren have Amazon (etc) wish lists that we are required to select from AND never have time to spend with their father which breaks my heart. On the other hand, my DD says..."time with you is more important than gifts." Makes it a bit harder to find a material item but wouldn't trade the time together for anything. I am truly blessed and constantly pray that his family will see the light before he is gone.

  9. #9
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bosque County, Texas
    Posts
    3,028
    I find that I have only one DIL that always writes a thank you even though it is an email. The others don't. So this one is the one that gets the "I'm just thinking of you" gift. Everyone gets a birthday gift. This year we aren't exchanging Christmas gifts, but the "I thought of you when I saw this" gift just seems to go to the one that says "Thank you." Strange how that works, isn't. It pays to have good manners and to be appreciative.

  10. #10
    Super Member cherrio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Ohio, the land of 4 seasons. sometimes all in the same week!
    Posts
    2,509
    I agree. Ill give a ten dollor gift card and get one in return . . . Why? I told my own kids (all grown) and siblings that this yr is so beyond tight that the grands and nephews under 18 will get gifts this yr. the kids can make homemade/handmade anything they like but I won't accept anything else. I am making things they have asked for and doing baking for my sister and glad to do it. I love to be helpful and love spend time with them; so far all are in agreement. My youngest daughter had to go to a MANDATORY party/meeting/gift card exchange at her bosses house this past weekend. She said it was very awkward.
    You never stand taller than when you stoop to help a child.

  11. #11
    Super Member Crqltr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    2,463
    Blog Entries
    2
    I don't get into exchanges any more either...the biggest reason would be that at my age I need to start getting rid of stuff, I really don't need more Knicks knacks ect,

  12. #12
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Central Pa
    Posts
    519
    I prefer not to exchange gifts with friends. Let's go out to lunch and have fun! Nothing much I can do about my family though. Gotta give our parents and siblings gifts.

    One thing I do like though, my husband's family has a BIG get together on Christmas Eve and we have a Left Right pass it game. We're only supposed to spend $10 or less on a gift and sometimes we get some really great gag gifts! Last year we got stick on mustaches and a disco ball! Now something like that is really fun.

  13. #13
    Super Member butterflies5518's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    4,032
    I am doing the secret santa & cookie exchange in our department this year - both mandatory. Good thing I pulled my bosses name - easy to buy for. Last year was my team mate's and by day 3 she figured it out. I will enjoy it and eat all my cookies! I did do a white elephant exchange with a neighboring department - now that was fun - I made a quilted ornament!
    Quilting makes me happy!..

  14. #14
    Member judyrael's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Theodosia, Missouri
    Posts
    81
    How many of you do Gift Exchanges with your grandchildren? We always do it, but this last year 2 of them got married, so we are now doing it with their spouses also. With 7 grandkids and now 2 spouses, I'm beginning to think it is too much, also it seems that one or another some years forget to send even a card back, but always say a Thank you.

  15. #15
    Super Member nstitches4u's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Independence, MO
    Posts
    3,551
    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts View Post
    Once again you and I are in agreement, Bearisgray. A gift is GIVEN. If it is expected, or you are TOLD who to buy for, and how much to spend, it is not a gift.

    If I give you a $50 gift card and you give me a $50 gift card, to me that is an exchange. And totally nonsensical.
    I agree. We used to draw names for our family gift exchange. One year I got my oldest brother's name and he got mine. I bought him the video "Titanic" and he got me --- the video "Titanic". lol That was the last year we exchanged gifts. Now we just get together and have dinner and play cards and games. We don't need gifts to have fun.

  16. #16
    Senior Member quiltingme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    599
    I agree that you should only buy gifts if you want to. Nothing should be mandatory. My family stopped getting together & trying to exchange gifts years ago when we grew so large in numbers that it was just nearly impossible to even give just a token gift.

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Southeast Michigan
    Posts
    340
    We did the white elephant exchange at work this year. Anyone who wanted to participate did, those that didn't simply didn't bring a gift. If you brought one you received a number and it's duplicate was put the drawing dish. It was the last item on the day's agenda. If it was your choice, you could leave. However, almost everyone stayed to watch. It was quite hilarious. Our instructions were a usable item, cost should be less that $5, a regift is fine and no trash. Because we all have a wicked sense of humor, it was pure entertainment. I'd join the fun again.

  18. #18
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Alaska
    Posts
    2,726
    I'm doing secret santa this year. Sad that who I'm giving gifts to has commented on the fact that she is not getting what she listed on the sheet of paper.

    Oh well.

    The final day- I will tell her why she received the little gifts 1-3. Gift 4 is the finally.
    It makes me wish that I did not do it this year.

  19. #19
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,611
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Crqltr View Post
    I don't get into exchanges any more either...the biggest reason would be that at my age I need to start getting rid of stuff, I really don't need more Knicks knacks ect,
    We don't exchange gifts anymore for various reasons. Yet we have cintinued to buy my DM ( the only parent we have left between us) a Christmas gift. For a couple of years now she has respectfully asked us not to buy her anything because she feels at age 89 she is ready to get rid of things and needs nothing more to worry about finding a place for in her home. We still kept buying something for her because it didn't seem right not to do it and it made us feel happy to do it. This year, I told my husband that I am going to do what she sincerely wants. She wants nothing for a gift. I am not giving her anything except a very nice card. It feels strange to me and I told her that. She again told me she wants and needs nothing more to have to find a place for in her home. With six children and more grand, great grand and great great grand children than she can count giving her gifts; she has no room left.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.