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Thread: Helping my son adjust to DD starting school?

  1. #1
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    My 5 yr old DD just started school yesterday. She was so excited. My DS, on the other hand, who is almost 4, was a real pill all morning. He's had her around to play with for his whole life (of course minus the occasional day here and there when one or the other of them went with Daddy or a GP or something) and the transition is going to be hard for him.

    He was whiny, screaming, defiant, you name it. I tried spending special time with him, but then he'd start whining, which quickly progresses to screaming and needing to be sent to his room to cool off. I don't feel like I can let that behavior slide just because I feel sorry for him, and I need him to learn to play by himself for a little while so that I can get things done around the house.

    Does anyone have suggestions? How have you dealt with similar situations?

    I posted this question on another board, one devoted to parenting, and got a lot of suggestions that I send him to Pre-K, which I had already stated was not an option for us. So please refrain from suggesting pre-K. I feel like this is a temporary problem and enrollment in Pre-K is a more permanent solution than I'm really looking for, plus there are other reasons I just don't think it is the right choice for us.

  2. #2
    Cyn
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    Super Member Cyn's Avatar
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    Maybe a new toy that would get his attention and keep him entertained?

  3. #3
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    We do have some toys in the closet that have been out of rotation for awhile, and if I got out the Legos again it might be just as good as having a new toy.

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    I went thru this many many years ago except my son talked me to death and would get into things and say the dog told him to do it. It is trying to say the least. It just takes patience and a little time. Maybe when your daughter comes home all three of you can have some fun time together for something special. When my youngest son started school my daughter would be all excited when he came home so we work on his and "her" homework together. It didn't take long before I had to send her out of the room when he did homework because she caught on so fast she'd give him the answers.
    You might even try a little "home schooling" while the one is at school; pictures to color, etc so that the youngest will feel he's also doing school.
    I wish there was one great answer but it may take trying a few different things to find one that works with your son. It'll get better and I wish I could give you a time frame but like everything else in life all kids are different. Good luck

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterflyblue
    We do have some toys in the closet that have been out of rotation for awhile, and if I got out the Legos again it might be just as good as having a new toy.
    Are there any of his friends that could be scheduled for a play date maybe once or twice a week especially in the beginning. That may help so he's not alone.

  6. #6
    Panther Creek Quilting's Avatar
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    I had/have this same issue. I find that if I take time to play with my DS and he starts throughing a fit, I just tell him that he has to straighten up or lose time with me and I leave him to think about it.

    Are his "fits" getting a rise out of you? What I mean is are you giving him more attention in dealing with them? What worked for me was to absolutely ignore the tantrums and them would stop almost immediately.

    Remember all things take time and transitions are hard for little ones. Don't give him a reaction and they will soon stop.

    I commend you for knowing that even though you feel sorry for him, rewarding this behavior will only perpetuate (sp?) the situation.

    Hope I helped!

    Sheila

  7. #7
    Senior Member LovinMySoldier's Avatar
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    Just hang in there and he will adjust in a couple of days. Keep on him though. Don't let him think that bad behavior is acceptable. Let him be your special helper. My son is 4 loves this idea. He loves to help out. When I clean the kitchen he gets a Lysol wipe or two and wipes down whatever he can reach. In the livingroom he helps by dusting and picking up his toys. The hurry hurry hurry, fast as you can is his favorite game. Pick up something an run to put it away. If he helps you out it will keep him entertained and not so lonely.
    We have also decided not to go the pre k route. But we do do "school" everyday. They sell those activity learning books at my dollar store. We have several of those that we work on. We have letters, numbers, shapes, basic math and a couple others. He loves them. He needs a little help usually but does really well. just something fun. He cannot wait to start school next year.

  8. #8
    Senior Member luvnquilt's Avatar
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    We're going to go through the same thing in 2 weeks, my daughter will be in 1st grade and my 4 year old son is home with me. We still haven't decided whether to do pre-K with him, I don't really think he needs it except for the socializing aspect. I plan to try and keep him quite busy, but it's never enough. We'll take walks and bike rides and do "school" and go to the library and of course whatever shopping I need to do. I agree not to let him get away with throwing fits, the same rules apply as before sister went to school. Sending him to cool off is great. I think he'll get the idea but it might take a couple days. Hang in there!!!

  9. #9
    Super Member New Quilter's Avatar
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    Can you set an area to be his "school place"? Maybe a child size desk with crayons, books, etc. so that he feels that he to is at school like his big sister? Naomi :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

  10. #10
    Super Member Joan's Avatar
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    Start a play group one or two mornings a week with some of his buddies. Site of the "play group" shifts from house to house so "you" may actually get the day off.

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