JOKE: Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)
07-31-2010, 08:08 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: currently central new jersey
Posts: 8,623
LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):-
>
> 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>
> 2. A will is a dead giveaway.
>
> 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
> 4. A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> 5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>
> 6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
>
> 7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
> 8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
> 9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>
> 10. A calendar's days are numbered.
>
> 11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
> 12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>
> 13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
>
> 14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>
> 15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
>
> 16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
>
> 17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
> 18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> 19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>
> 20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
>
> 21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
> He acquired his size from too much pi.
>
> 22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
>
> 23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
>
> 24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
>
> 25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
>
> 26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
>
> 27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
>
> 28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
>
> 29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>
> 30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>
> 31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
>
> 32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
> When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
>
> 33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
>
>
> 34. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>
> 2. A will is a dead giveaway.
>
> 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
> 4. A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> 5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>
> 6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
>
> 7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
> 8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
> 9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>
> 10. A calendar's days are numbered.
>
> 11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
> 12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>
> 13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
>
> 14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>
> 15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
>
> 16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
>
> 17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
> 18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> 19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>
> 20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
>
> 21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
> He acquired his size from too much pi.
>
> 22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
>
> 23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
>
> 24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
>
> 25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
>
> 26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
>
> 27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
>
> 28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
>
> 29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>
> 30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>
> 31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
>
> 32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
> When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
>
> 33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
>
>
> 34. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
08-01-2010, 12:52 PM
#7
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Crystal River Florida
Posts: 9,785
I love word games and play on words like this. I tried to copy and paste it, but for some reason it won't work! Strange, I have never had that problem before! :shock:
After four tries, it finally worked!! Thanks for sharing this! :D
After four tries, it finally worked!! Thanks for sharing this! :D
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
sandpat
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
15
07-04-2010 05:01 AM
butterflywing
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
4
09-29-2009 09:37 AM
