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Thread: JOKE: Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

  1. #1
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
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    LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):-
    >
    > 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
    >
    > 2. A will is a dead giveaway.
    >
    > 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
    >
    > 4. A backward poet writes inverse.
    >
    > 5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
    >
    > 6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
    >
    > 7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
    >
    > 8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
    >
    > 9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
    >
    > 10. A calendar's days are numbered.
    >
    > 11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
    >
    > 12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
    >
    > 13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
    >
    > 14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
    >
    > 15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
    >
    > 16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
    >
    > 17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
    >
    > 18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
    >
    > 19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
    >
    > 20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
    >
    > 21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
    > He acquired his size from too much pi.
    >
    > 22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
    >
    > 23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
    >
    > 24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
    >
    > 25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
    >
    > 26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
    >
    > 27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
    >
    > 28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
    >
    > 29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
    >
    > 30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
    >
    > 31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
    >
    > 32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
    > When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
    >
    > 33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
    >
    >
    > 34. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >

  2. #2
    Super Member virtualbernie's Avatar
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    :lol:

  3. #3
    Super Member MistyMarie's Avatar
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    My husband groaned a bit over these. I might put some of these up in my classroom. Funny!!!

  4. #4
    Super Member beachlady's Avatar
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    Cute BW

  5. #5
    Power Poster
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    Groan :D

  6. #6
    Super Member Blue Bell's Avatar
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    Going to send to my grandkids. They will love them.

  7. #7
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    I love word games and play on words like this. I tried to copy and paste it, but for some reason it won't work! Strange, I have never had that problem before! :shock:

    After four tries, it finally worked!! Thanks for sharing this! :D

  8. #8
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    Funny, thanks for the laugh.

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