The mooching person who wants to quilt
12-23-2010, 05:20 PM
#101
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Amarillo, Texas
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by amandasgramma
Okay -- go to a thrift store and pick up some fabrics or to a cheap store and buy about $20.00 worth of fabric. Set it to one side when she comes.....tell her she can pick out anything she wants from that, but the other fabrics are NOT to be touched....that it's for certain quilts and if she takes anything you'll be short. If she stares, stare back....don't let her take advantage of you!
12-23-2010, 05:36 PM
#103
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Central Willamette Valley, Oregon, USA
Posts: 7,695
Originally Posted by applique
Originally Posted by oatw13
We have one of those people, too.
Aside from being firm and blunt (this person thinks "rude"), the one thing that worked for me was to tell them I would gladly sell them whatever it is they wanted. So, next time she wants your fabric, offer to sell it to her at a reasonable price. I guarantee you, she won't want it anymore. If you do this several times, she will quit asking and look elsewhere for her "free ride."
Don't let her get you down. Most people aren't like that.
Aside from being firm and blunt (this person thinks "rude"), the one thing that worked for me was to tell them I would gladly sell them whatever it is they wanted. So, next time she wants your fabric, offer to sell it to her at a reasonable price. I guarantee you, she won't want it anymore. If you do this several times, she will quit asking and look elsewhere for her "free ride."
Don't let her get you down. Most people aren't like that.
Good idea, and I bet the woman is a LOT richer than you. She doesn't spend HER money she uses everyone else's money!
12-23-2010, 05:57 PM
#104
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 11
The issue seems to be BOUNDARIES....MIL has none. You must set the boundaries. As long as you enable her be letting her use you, the results will continue to be the same. Do not buy, give or "loan" her anything. It sends a "mixed message" and encourages her to continue her bad behavior. Speak in short, simple sentences. Do not make excuses to her. A polite no should suffice. When she asks why, whines, or tries the guilt thing, YOU have the choice to give in or stay strong. "I am no longer going to give you anything. Try the salvation army, etc."
12-23-2010, 06:02 PM
#105
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Yakima, WA
Posts: 2,439
My family is filled with interesting people so I can relate. My suggestion is, have 2 stashes. The one she sees and the one she doesn't. I have a stash that I use as backing on projects where only the front is important so I don't want to use my more expensive, or favorite, fabric on the back.
If she notices something is missing, be all innocent, gosh, I don't remember that piece/print/color. Well, maybe I used it for something already but I don't remember what, or do you think I misplaced it?
If she notices something is missing, be all innocent, gosh, I don't remember that piece/print/color. Well, maybe I used it for something already but I don't remember what, or do you think I misplaced it?
12-23-2010, 06:23 PM
#106
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pleasant Hill MO
Posts: 1,669
I think you should tell her that you worked hard all of your life and that your stash is for some future project and it is not up for grabs. Tell her is she wants to purchase some you don't plan to use you would be glad to sell it to her. Or just look and her and say"This does not work for me"
12-23-2010, 06:55 PM
#107
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 673
i let my daughters "shop" in my stuff--but they always have the grace to ask before they "acquire" anything from the momshop.
tell her that you are not rich, but you manage things carefully. things aren't free in this world, so the least she can do is ASK, and not assume. yes--separate your better stuff if you can--if you can't, just tell her that some of this is specially for YOU and you alone. be blunt. she certainly is. like needs like in return.
tell her that you are not rich, but you manage things carefully. things aren't free in this world, so the least she can do is ASK, and not assume. yes--separate your better stuff if you can--if you can't, just tell her that some of this is specially for YOU and you alone. be blunt. she certainly is. like needs like in return.
12-23-2010, 06:56 PM
#108
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Galveston Texas
Posts: 1,596
You need to decide what your boundaries are and hold to them. I read a book one time about this, it said to just say "no" with no explanation, everytime she asks, repeat "no" with no expanation. You do not owe her a reason.
I probably would put some fabric I didn't care for in a box and let that be what she can pick form.
The next time she tells you that you are rich, just say, we are not rich but we have worked hard, sacrificed, and saved so we can be comfortable.
I probably would put some fabric I didn't care for in a box and let that be what she can pick form.
The next time she tells you that you are rich, just say, we are not rich but we have worked hard, sacrificed, and saved so we can be comfortable.
12-23-2010, 07:11 PM
#110
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 238
My daughter had a very exact way of keeping what was hers. She would wrap her arms aroung it stomp her foot, frown, stick out her lip and say "mine".
She will not be easy because she is use to getting her way. Quit being to nice and let her know rich or not the fabric is yours for future projects.
She will not be easy because she is use to getting her way. Quit being to nice and let her know rich or not the fabric is yours for future projects.
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