IDIOT SIGHTING :
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "No, it's not. Four is larger than two."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they had only iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
The stop-light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS.
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS .
I love this one!
When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii. I was parking, and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said, "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge." He nodded his head and said "Cool!"
They walk among us... and they VOTE... and they REPRODUCE!
LOOK OUT FOR THESE PEOPLE
I had to laugh about the one from Dallas where "I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself "! Someone here on the Board admited to doing the same thing. But, she wasn't alone -- others admitted doing the same thing. Of course, I would never admit to such a thing! :-) :shock:
I have one. I was at my daughter's wedding two weeks ago. As a background to the story, they are not vegans, but many of their friends are, so they offered both vegetarian and meat dishes at the wedding.
Finally, the caterers brought out the coffee urn, and set some 1/2 and 1/2 in ice nearby. That was all.
I asked the caterer, who was standing in front of a vat of BEEF TENDERLOIN MARSALA, where the sugar was. This was his response:
"The couple is vegan. So we didn't bring sugar."
I proceeded to tell him that sugar was in no way a meat product, to which he replied again that they were vegan. Ughhhhh.
The man behind the bar at the venue had some sugar. And a good laugh.
Scary to think they are serious!! :lol: :lol:
These are so funny! My DH's aunt used to live in Houston in a busy neighborhood/shopping area. She used to brag to us "country folks" that she could just walk to any store she needed to go to...while we had to drive miles. Less than a week later, she called my MIL (her sister) in a panic. Someone had stolen her car right from her garage! A few days later her car was found across the street from her at the grocery store, locked and perfectly intact. Her car keys? In her purse! The police concluded that she DROVE to the grocery store and then WALKED home! :-D
I must say though, I think we all have those idiot moments! :oops:
:roll: :lol: :roll: :lol:
Well, I think I quilt too much. I was at the deli in a supermarket, and asked for a 'scant' 1/3 pound of meat. The employee looked at me strangely, and admitted that he had never heard of the word 'scant', and what did it mean? I think I have grown up with that word, but maybe not.