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Thread: JOKE: Idiot Sightings

  1. #1
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
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    IDIOT SIGHTING :

    We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "No, it's not. Four is larger than two."

    We haven't used Sears repair since.


    IDIOT SIGHTING:

    My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

    IDIOT SIGHTING:

    I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
    From Kingman, KS

    IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they had only iceberg lettuce.
    From Kansas City

    IDIOT SIGHTING:

    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
    Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


    IDIOT SIGHTING:

    The stop-light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?
    She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS.

    IDIOT SIGHTING:


    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.

    IDIOT SIGHTING:

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

    This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS .

    I love this one!

    When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii. I was parking, and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said, "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge." He nodded his head and said "Cool!"

    STAY ALERT!
    They walk among us... and they VOTE... and they REPRODUCE!
    LOOK OUT FOR THESE PEOPLE

  2. #2
    Power Poster
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    :lol:

  3. #3
    Super Member QBeth's Avatar
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    I had to laugh about the one from Dallas where "I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself "! Someone here on the Board admited to doing the same thing. But, she wasn't alone -- others admitted doing the same thing. Of course, I would never admit to such a thing! :-) :shock:

  4. #4
    Super Member pastimesquiltdesign's Avatar
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    absolutely loved those

  5. #5
    a regular here hazeljane's Avatar
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    I have one. I was at my daughter's wedding two weeks ago. As a background to the story, they are not vegans, but many of their friends are, so they offered both vegetarian and meat dishes at the wedding.

    Finally, the caterers brought out the coffee urn, and set some 1/2 and 1/2 in ice nearby. That was all.

    I asked the caterer, who was standing in front of a vat of BEEF TENDERLOIN MARSALA, where the sugar was. This was his response:

    "The couple is vegan. So we didn't bring sugar."

    I proceeded to tell him that sugar was in no way a meat product, to which he replied again that they were vegan. Ughhhhh.

    The man behind the bar at the venue had some sugar. And a good laugh.

  6. #6
    Super Member RenaB's Avatar
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    Scary!

  7. #7
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Scary to think they are serious!! :lol: :lol:

  8. #8
    Senior Member BRenea's Avatar
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    These are so funny! My DH's aunt used to live in Houston in a busy neighborhood/shopping area. She used to brag to us "country folks" that she could just walk to any store she needed to go to...while we had to drive miles. Less than a week later, she called my MIL (her sister) in a panic. Someone had stolen her car right from her garage! A few days later her car was found across the street from her at the grocery store, locked and perfectly intact. Her car keys? In her purse! The police concluded that she DROVE to the grocery store and then WALKED home! :-D

    I must say though, I think we all have those idiot moments! :oops:

  9. #9
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    :roll: :lol: :roll: :lol:

  10. #10
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    Well, I think I quilt too much. I was at the deli in a supermarket, and asked for a 'scant' 1/3 pound of meat. The employee looked at me strangely, and admitted that he had never heard of the word 'scant', and what did it mean? I think I have grown up with that word, but maybe not.

  11. #11
    Super Member dixiebelle162002's Avatar
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    It's amazing how many people lack common sense. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  12. #12
    Super Member New Quilter's Avatar
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    Oh wow...these made me laugh...I think I already know some of these people...lol Naomi

  13. #13
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    Too bad these happpenings are NOT jokes. An awful lot of stupidity in this world today. What happened to 'common sense'?

  14. #14
    Super Member amandasgramma's Avatar
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    LOL This is funny!

    I was standing waiting for an elevator that would be going up-- there were 6 elevators in that area. A woman walked up and pushed the button for DOWN. An elevator going up came and I got on -- turned to notice her getting on. I put my hand out and said "sorry --- the elevators are being repaired and are only going up today". She got off and walked to the stairs ---- I almost fell on the floor laughing!

    Was talking to a woman who told me this story. She was waiting in an administrator's office for a meeting. The Admin. was out - but his secretary was there. The phone rang, the secretary answered it. While talking on the phone, another phone rang. She put #1 caller on hold, took 2nd call. While talking on #2 call, a third call came in. She said "just a minute", put the phone down and ran into the Admin's office to take the call. Finally - when all calls were done, friend asked why she didn't just put all the calls on hold with her phone. Secretary said "duh, there's only one HOLD button on my phone"!!!!!!!!! For those young ones here who don't understand ---- that hold button would have worked for all 6 phone lines!!!!!!

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by trolleystation
    Too bad these happpenings are NOT jokes. An awful lot of stupidity in this world today. What happened to 'common sense'?
    They dropped all common sense classes due to lack of interest .......... :lol:

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by trolleystation
    Too bad these happpenings are NOT jokes. An awful lot of stupidity in this world today. What happened to 'common sense'?
    They dropped all common sense classes due to lack of interest .......... :lol: ;)

  17. #17
    Super Member New Quilter's Avatar
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    Have you heard the one about the substitute school secretary that needed "white-out" while she was typing a report for the principal...this is a true story...I was the one to loan the "white-out" to her...but thank goodness, before she could put it on the computer screen, I showed her the "backspace" key...Naomi

  18. #18
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    Send some more please

  19. #19
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    True story that happened to me. An manager had several pages that he wanted to fax. Just as he got started, the secretary ran up to him, and told him to wait a minute, while she checked to see if there was enough paper in the fax machine to handle all the pages he wanted to fax OUT. He just looked at her strangely, and let her add more paper. I had this visual in my head of pages of paper floating thru the air to their destination.

    I did gently correct her after he left.

  20. #20
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    Another story comes to mind. Phone call came in for associate who was not at her desk, so the call rolled to the secretary. The secretary tracked the associate to the restroom. The secretary came back to the person on the phone, and told him/her that the associate was in the restroom AND WOULD BE AWHILE.

  21. #21
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    Another story comes to mind. Phone call came in for associate who was not at her desk, so the call rolled to the secretary. The secretary tracked the associate to the restroom. The secretary came back to the person on the phone, and told him/her that the associate was in the restroom AND WOULD BE AWHILE.

    I overheard this, as my cubicle was next to the secretary's desk.

  22. #22
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    I was teaching a childbirth education class in Austin TX 4 years ago and the discussion got off on naming babies and changing mothers' last names.

    After a few minutes I mentioned that I had renamed myself in my divorce degree. Ex didn't want me, I didn't want to be my mother's little girl again at my age, so I chose a name from my father's side, a name from my mother's side, and hyphenated them as my new last name.

    As they all knew my new last name, one young lady asked me what my maiden name had been. I took a deep breath and said, "Well, Janet Jackson."

    Her eyes got as big as saucers and she said (as God is my witness!), "Were you named for HER?!" :shock:


    Look at my avatar. Don't I look like a white, 65 year old, cookie-making grandma to you? What the ----?!

    My favortie come back is, "And these people vote." :?
    Jan in VA :shock:

  23. #23
    Senior Member marknfran's Avatar
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    I had to read all of these to my husband; got the greatest laughs!!!!Thank you so much; you lightened our day!! :thumbup:

  24. #24
    Super Member cherrio's Avatar
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    my oldest daughter loves M&M candies. Coming in from the grocery one evening I tossed a large bag onto her bed. Later she laughed"look mom, I close my eyes, reach in and ALWAYS get just the red and green ones!". uh Nicole; they are Christmas M%M's. she has yet to live that down

  25. #25
    Senior Member Hattie Frances's Avatar
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    Well I just have to put my two cents in. This really occurred in my office. Years ago we used to get a lot of letters that were return receipt requested - acknowledging that their tax return was received by the department. After signing about 75 letter to taxpayers saying we did receive their tax return the supervisor asked a clerk to type envelopes and returns the letters. She types one label (address of the top letter) and put all the letters in a large brown envelope and sends it out via the U.S. Mail. Needless to say, about a week later, we received all of the letters back saying what idiots we had in state government.

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