Where do you find a no-legged dog?

Right where you left him!

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What's the difference between Corn Nuts and deer nuts?

Corn Nuts are usually more than a dollar...deer nuts are always under a buck!

A married couple were out working in their yard when the husband bent over to scoop up some leaves.

At the precise moment the wife ran over to him and kicked him on his fanny.

Naturally he went face first down into the pile of feaves.

As he was getting up and brushing the debri from his clothing he looks at her and asked "What was that for?".

The wife looks him in the eyes and states...
"That's for being a lousy lover!" and with that she turns and walks away.

A short time later the husband looks at his wife as she is bending over placing some flowers into the prepaired soil and instantly he runs over to her and kicks her on her fanny. Of course she goes face first into the dirt.

As the wife was slowly getting up and brushing off the dirt from her clothing she inquired rather loudly..."What was that for?".

The husband looks her in the eyes and comments....

"That's for knowing the difference!"