was a huge chance they wouldn't appreciate it? To make a long story short we have a niece who has grown up in a house where gifts are just not appreciated or kept. She is having a very hard time now (has issues and is a group home and basically been cut off from her immediate family) and has been calling me to talk. I think she is searching for some connection and sense of family. Dh and his brother though they grew up in the same home are VERY different....I have the idea floating around in my head to make her a lap quilt. BUT it takes me so long to make one and you all know how much goes into one, and I don't want to do it if she is going to follow what she has grown up with and just toss it. And not to be ugly about this but it would have to be a bigger than normal lapquilt I think as she is a really big girl at 6'3" and a size 13 in mens shoes........so would you make one?

A gift from your heart is still a gift, once we give the gift we no longer get to decide what is done with the gift. Give her one if it will satisfy your needs, and be happy that you have done so. Love her as you can, if she doesn't come round with the same care for the gift, at least you know you have done a great thing on your part. The best thing about a gift, is the giving.

(((HUGS))))

absolutely not. only give where it will be appreciated. Maybe some day she will change, but not at this time.

It really doesn't mater if I would make one or not. The real question is DO YOU WANT TO DO IT? Sometimes we already know the answer to our question. If it would make her feel loved and included it would be wonderful. However you must remember a gift is a gift, the receipent can do with it what they will.

WELL SAID!!!!!

i would! i'm sure it'll be appreciated but in her own way.

Absolutely! We all experience different circumstances in life that affect who we become. Sometimes, just knowing that someone genuinely cares without judgement can make all the difference. This may be an opportunity to reach out to her. Sometimes it takes losing everything and everybody we have taken for granted in order to pick ourselves up, dust off, and start over. If you make her a quilt, you will know that is was done out of love in her time of need. I don't know about you, but I could live with that being enough satisfaction even if she did not appreciate the quilt the way I would hope. God Bless you both.

I wonder if you made her apart of the quilt making, make it something special to her.
It sounds like she needs time and good memories.
I have done this with our family and they change their attitudes towards gifts.
Sue

Absolutely! Sometimes we think people don't appreciate the items we make for them when actually it's that they don't know how to express their thanks. Also, maybe she is reaching out for some connection. Wouldn't it be nice to reach back. Tell her what you'd like to do and maybe ask for some input or assistance.

Is she close to you? Perhaps she'd really appreciate some one on one time, maybe you could make one together and that would also give her the chance to talk everything through at the same time. Bet she'd keep that one!