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Thread: And They Will Breed!!

  1. #1
    Honey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Central Wisconsin
    Posts
    1,686
    My sister sent this. It scares me spitless to know that these people will someday run the country!!

    The following questions were set in last year's GSE examination
    These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

    Q. Name the four seasons
    A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

    Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
    A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

    Q. How is dew formed
    A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

    Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
    A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

    Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
    A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

    Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
    A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

    Q. What are steroids
    A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

    Q.. What happens to your body as you age
    A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

    Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
    A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

    Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
    A. Premature death

    Q. What is artificial insemination
    A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

    Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
    A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

    Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
    A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U (wtf!)

    Q. What is the fibula?
    A. A small lie

    Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
    A. Nearby

    Q. What is the most common form of birth control
    A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

    Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
    A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

    Q. What is a seizure?
    A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

    Q. What is a terminal illness
    A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

    Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
    A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

    Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
    A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

    Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
    A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

    Q. What is a turbine?
    A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
    :shock: :shock:

  2. #2
    Super Member amandasgramma's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    La Pine Oregon, USA
    Posts
    5,803
    And they vote!!!!

  3. #3
    TanyaMas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Fort Huachuca, AZ
    Posts
    358
    HAHAHA
    those are too funny... and definitely scary lol

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Verona , Virginia
    Posts
    671
    Here's your sign ! Oh , my goodness . Annie

  5. #5
    Super Member grammyp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    2,477
    And they will pay my Social Security. Suddenly I don't feel so secure.

  6. #6
    EllaBud's Avatar
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    Feb 2010
    Location
    West of Houston, Texas
    Posts
    373
    We're in trouble!

  7. #7
    Super Member danmar's Avatar
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    Feb 2010
    Location
    Parsons, Ks
    Posts
    1,630
    This is actually sad but I laughed until I cried.

  8. #8
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    Jan 2010
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    6,007
    I am so happy there are no Canoeists in my soda.

  9. #9
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Murray, Ky. Looking for a nice cushy pillow to rest my head on!
    Posts
    16,530
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    I am sorry that the kids these days think that way but this was the best laugh I have had in a long time. Nearly peed on myself.

  10. #10
    a regular here MegsAnn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,342
    So THAT's why elections are important! ::shakes head:::

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