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Thread: And They Will Breed!!

  1. #1
    Honey's Avatar
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    My sister sent this. It scares me spitless to know that these people will someday run the country!!

    The following questions were set in last year's GSE examination
    These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

    Q. Name the four seasons
    A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

    Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
    A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

    Q. How is dew formed
    A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

    Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
    A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

    Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
    A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

    Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
    A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

    Q. What are steroids
    A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

    Q.. What happens to your body as you age
    A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

    Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
    A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

    Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
    A. Premature death

    Q. What is artificial insemination
    A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

    Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
    A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

    Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
    A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U (wtf!)

    Q. What is the fibula?
    A. A small lie

    Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
    A. Nearby

    Q. What is the most common form of birth control
    A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

    Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
    A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

    Q. What is a seizure?
    A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

    Q. What is a terminal illness
    A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

    Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
    A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

    Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
    A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

    Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
    A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

    Q. What is a turbine?
    A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
    :shock: :shock:

  2. #2
    Super Member amandasgramma's Avatar
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    And they vote!!!!

  3. #3
    TanyaMas's Avatar
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    HAHAHA
    those are too funny... and definitely scary lol

  4. #4
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    Here's your sign ! Oh , my goodness . Annie

  5. #5
    Super Member grammyp's Avatar
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    And they will pay my Social Security. Suddenly I don't feel so secure.

  6. #6
    Senior Member EllaBud's Avatar
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    We're in trouble!

  7. #7
    Super Member danmar's Avatar
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    This is actually sad but I laughed until I cried.

  8. #8
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    I am so happy there are no Canoeists in my soda.

  9. #9
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    I am sorry that the kids these days think that way but this was the best laugh I have had in a long time. Nearly peed on myself.

  10. #10
    a regular here MegsAnn's Avatar
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    So THAT's why elections are important! ::shakes head:::

  11. #11
    Super Member Quilt4u's Avatar
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    Some one Help us!!!!!!!!

  12. #12
    Super Member Alu_Rathbone's Avatar
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    Smart nosed little brats they are! lol That was pretty funny...

  13. #13
    Super Member sewcrafty's Avatar
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    OMG!!! :lol: :lol: I'm laughing, but it scares the H*** out of me. Lord help us!!!

  14. #14
    Super Member Alu_Rathbone's Avatar
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    My children will not be that incredibly ...

  15. #15
    Super Member beachlady's Avatar
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    Do you really think they will vote? They do not know how to register or find the polling place and they most likely do not care!!!! We may be safe after all!

  16. #16
    Super Member sewcrafty's Avatar
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    Read a couple of the questions to my 17 yr old son before he left for school this morning. YEA, he answered them correctly!!!! When I told him what some of the answers were, he just shook his head and said, "Well they didin't take the test to seriously!" :lol: :lol: Thank you God!! :D :D

  17. #17
    starlight's Avatar
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    Scary but did get a good laugh!!

  18. #18
    Senior Member Rose Hall's Avatar
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    Now maybe more people will understand what teachers deal with everyday! LOL. that was great. will have to go repair the eye makeup from crying--thanks I needed the laugh!!!
    Rose

  19. #19
    Super Member redkimba's Avatar
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    Last election (2008) primaries, I had gone in to vote. They had 2 different lines - one for the Republican primaries; the other for the Democrat primaries. There was a sign for each, showing which way to go...

    A woman was behind me; when she found out that she was in the line for the Republican primaries, she was morally offended, and pretty much let the guy know about it. The poor poll-worker could only tell her so much & was flummoxed. I finally turned about & told her very clearly and pointed out which line she should be in.

    (not anti-Democrat; this story would have been just as funny if the lines were the other way)

  20. #20
    Pam
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    So... I appears SOME of our young people do keep up with politics, LOL.

  21. #21
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pam
    So... I appears SOME of our young people do keep up with politics, LOL.
    I thought that too but didn't want to say it.

  22. #22
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    Those are so funny and scary. Thanks for sharing.

  23. #23
    Super Member jetnica's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHA

    welcome to the world of teaching high school. sometimes it's all i can to to shake my head and not laugh in their face.

    oi.

  24. #24
    JJs
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    well, God forbid the little darlings be forced to actually LEARN something...
    I am so thankful that I went to school when I did, where I did (50s/60s, in Florida - we actually had to KNOW stuff to get out of school....and had to behave while we were learning it)

  25. #25
    Super Member Alu_Rathbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beachlady
    Do you really think they will vote? They do not know how to register or find the polling place and they most likely do not care!!!! We may be safe after all!
    If they don't vote our government WILL become self reliant and then our entire country will be down the tubes... Then what will we do?

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