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Thread: When do you quit giving gifts to "kids"

  1. #61
    Super Member coopah's Avatar
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    No thank you, no gift the next year. Period. End of discussion. EXCEPT for my son and his wife. I still do for them without a written thank you, but they sure better at least SAY thanks. (I don't want to be the mean, nasty MIL, so continue to do for them when I shouldn't. I know...I know.)
    "A woman is like a tea bag-you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." Eleanor Roosevelt

  2. #62
    Super Member coopah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quiltingnana1 View Post
    an

    I love this! We, too, give until age 18. If the recipient is really thankful, we might go to 21. But, I really like the idea of the the thank you notes. While growing up, our kids always found a package of thank you notes in their stockings. They weren't allowed to cash a check or wear a gift until the note was written. :-)
    I did the same thing with writing thank yous. I also gave thank yous (personalized, special ordered, nice cardstock) with stamps on them!! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
    "A woman is like a tea bag-you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." Eleanor Roosevelt

  3. #63
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    Warn them at age 17 that thank yous in some form (electronic, even) are required to continue beyond age 18. You can say it in a nice, humorous way and still show you mean it.

  4. #64
    Senior Member quiltmau's Avatar
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    I used to give because it was expected-then I gave because I didn't want them mad at me-then I grew up(at a late age) and said the hell with it and only gave if I found something someone would like or appreciate! Now I donate the gift money locally to help those that really need it and I only gift something if I know the receiver will like. No special occasion as I forget birthdays and anniversaries-just because I am thinking of them and I want to. That to me is the only way to gift-with your heart and mind and not because it is expected!!

  5. #65
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts View Post
    18. Although if I received no TY notes for several years, their next gift would be a box of TY notes.
    Love the idea of TY notes as their next gift.

  6. #66
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissSongbird View Post
    It's hard for me to really answer this being that I'm 20, but my aunts still give me gifts. Well, only one of my aunts gives me a Christmas present and sent birthday cards religiously. My other aunts will get me something if they see something I like or the "fits" me. I'm very appreciative of the gifts I recieve because for some of my family it's hard going. So when they give me something I'm very grateful. Also I love to know that they think of me in these times. I'm very thankful for my family.
    Glad to see there is one gal who it thankful that her family thinks of her. May in Jersey

  7. #67
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    ok, so maybe I'm not the normal but I dont' feel obligated to give gifts to anyone. I love to give them to my two youngest grandkids who I see every week and I'm very close to. I have more grandkids but due to the way my sons are I quit giving gifts a long time ago. I used to buy gifts every yr and then was expected to deliver them even though I only live about 15 min from them. I never got a thank you or heard from them the rest of the yr unless it was a birthday party that I would be invited to. Even then they'd schedule it on Sunday and ask if I could come even though I have worked Sundays for over 11 yrs so it should be well known I'm not able to come. I got tired buying and delivering gifts; I don't think grand parents should have to and then a few yrs ago when my youngest son was staying with the son with many kids his brother asked him to bring the gifts home to them. My youngest told him he'd have to come and get them; that came from him,not me. After a few yrs of having gifts left at my house because they didn't want to drive so far I quit buying them and said mess with it. My oldest son will come and see me which is the best gift in the world and he only lives down the street from the others. His kids don't even live on this coast. He'll buy me a gift when he can and I do the same. Last week I went to see him and he handed me a Christmas card with a check of $500. I refused but he said he'd gotten a really big bonus and he knew things were really tight with my ex taking off. I just cried and thanked him. This son has limited skills for carpentry, etc work around the house so he helped in the only way he could. I have two other sons who are licensed electricians and one a plumber (who lives with me) and none of them will help at all. They say they don't have time for that. Even the plumber who lives with me won't install the two gas fireplaces that I bought and can't afford a contractor to install. I found out after I bought them on CL, new that it was over 1000 to get them installed. We freeze, but he's young and can handle it. I'm limping right now because I have a back disease and the cold weather plays havak with my body. So, no, I quit feeling obligated not when the ones expecting gifts are so unappreciating of what you give them or the fact that money is tight. This yr I shortened how much I got the ones that I get for and only got for whom I really felt like I wanted to give too. I get for some that aren't family because they are near and dear to my heart and don't "expect" a gift from me but do appreciate what I give. I always try to listen to what they want and go in that direction. I want them to enjoy the gift and use it. I don't buy gifts from the "grab a gift isle" unless it something that they'd really want. I feel that isle is a slap in the face to ones you care about. I love Christmas and love what it's all about. If I could hve all of my family get along and squeeze them all into my house and cook for them; that would be the greatest. Since that won't happen I'd rather not have anyone around who can't share the Christmas spirit and let things go for at least a day; with no expectations other than to share the holiday and love. Merry Christmas to you all and be safe out there
    Judy

  8. #68
    Super Member Peckish's Avatar
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    I am 43 years old and still get gifts (Christmas and birthday money) from my grandparents. When I got married, they started sending gifts to my husband, who was incredibly touched. He says they don't have to do that and the fact that they do gives him the warm mushies. He lost all of his grandparents at an early age, so being adopted into the family as a grandson made him feel wonderful.

    A few years ago my uncle was murdered. My grandparents were thousands of miles away and couldn't make it home for the funeral. They were both devastated and very distraught that they couldn't be there. My husband did not think twice - he travels a lot in his job, so he turned in his accumulated miles and got them two plane tickets home. He felt it was the very least he could do, and felt helpless that there wasn't something more.

  9. #69
    Senior Member quiltmau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peckish View Post
    I am 43 years old and still get gifts (Christmas and birthday money) from my grandparents. When I got married, they started sending gifts to my husband, who was incredibly touched. He says they don't have to do that and the fact that they do gives him the warm mushies. He lost all of his grandparents at an early age, so being adopted into the family as a grandson made him feel wonderful.


    A few years ago my uncle was murdered. My grandparents were thousands of miles away and couldn't make it home for the funeral. They were both devastated and very distraught that they couldn't be there. My husband did not think twice - he travels a lot in his job, so he turned in his accumulated miles and got them two plane tickets home. He felt it was the very least he could do, and felt helpless that there wasn't something more.
    You have a very wonderful husband-he has a great heart

  10. #70
    Super Member Sheila_H's Avatar
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    I would say if they don't acknowledge your gift then it's time to stop, we have a lot of young one's in our family we give to them, then just our siblings one gift for the adults we set a limit on how much for the adults and the children get a game and some clothes but we always talk to the parents and ask what the gift should be. We also give to our local soup kitchen as well.

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