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Thread: Why we love children

  1. #1
    Power Poster Lacelady's Avatar
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    Why do we love children?. . .

    1) NUDITY
    I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
    a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
    naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
    the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

    2) OPINIONS
    On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
    from his mother.
    The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily
    those of his parents '

    3) TELL IT LIKE THEY SEE IT
    A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her
    struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
    the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.
    She's hitting the bottle.'

    4) MORE NUDITY
    A little boy got lost at the YMCA and he found himself in the women's
    locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
    ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
    amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a
    little boy before?'

    5) POLICE # 1
    While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
    interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
    my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?
    'Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.
    'My mother said that if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is
    that right?'
    'Yes, that's right,' I told her.
    'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you
    please tie my shoe?'

    6) POLICE # 2
    It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
    station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake was barking,
    and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back
    there?' he asked.
    'It sure is,' I replied.
    Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
    Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

    7) THE ELDERLY
    While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
    shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
    The various appliances of old age unfailingly intrigued her,
    particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
    staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
    for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
    whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

    8 DRESSING UP
    A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
    her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
    suit.'
    'And why not, darling?'
    'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

    9) REGARDING DEATH
    While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
    heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
    Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
    Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small
    box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal
    of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
    prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought
    his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and
    into the hole he goes.' (I want that line used at my funeral!)

    10) SCHOOL
    A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just
    wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write,
    and they won't let me talk!'

    11) THE BIBLE
    A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
    fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
    Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it What he saw was an old
    leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
    'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
    'What have you got there, dear?'
    With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's
    Adam's underwear!'

    Now... if this didn't brighten your day, go back to bed and forget it. :-) :D

  2. #2
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    Awwwww :D 8) :D 8)

  3. #3
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    Those are so cute. I love little ones.

  4. #4
    pinklissamel's Avatar
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    Awww that is so cute Kids are something special. Gotta love em!!

  5. #5
    Super Member Shemjo's Avatar
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    Cute!

  6. #6
    Super Member earthwalker's Avatar
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    Sweet!

  7. #7
    k3n
    k3n is offline
    Power Poster k3n's Avatar
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    Cute AND funny - my favourite combination! 'into the hole he goes!' I loved that one! And the little girl at school who isn't allowed to talk - that could be my Lily! :D

  8. #8
    Senior Member mrs theo's Avatar
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    Too cute :) :) :)

  9. #9
    Junior Member Quilter Marshall's Avatar
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    Very cute jokes. Children are sooooo honest. :roll:

  10. #10
    MNQuilter's Avatar
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    These made me laugh out loud! I can so see my 4 yo saying any number of those things. Last night I was taking her to the store and she was telling me about what they were learning about the first Thanksgiving at school. She informed me that her class dressed up as indians with a feather and the other class was "pirates" I asked if she meant pilgrims and she insisted that they were pirates withtheir black hats! I about died!!!!!!

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