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Thread: Why we love children...

  1. #1
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    Why we love children...

    NUDITY
    I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

    OPINIONS
    On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..'

    Ketchup
    A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now She's hitting the bottle.

    MORE NUDITY
    A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

    POLICE # 1

    While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

    POLICE #2

    It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
    'It sure is,' I replied.
    Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?

    ELDERLY

    While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

    DRESS-UP

    A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
    'And why not, darling?'
    'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

    DEATH

    While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
    The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)


    SCHOOL
    A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

    BIBLE
    A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
    'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
    'What have you got there, dear?'
    With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

    Last edited by QuiltnNan; 12-03-2012 at 11:20 AM.
    Nancy in western NY
    before you speak THINK
    T is it True? H is it Helpful? I is it Inspiring? N is it Necessary? K is it Kind?


  2. #2
    Power Poster
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    Oldies, but still goodies.

    "into the hole he goes" = seems appropriate to me!

  3. #3
    Super Member JudyTheSewer's Avatar
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    Ha, Ha, Ha! I had never heard these before. Thanks for the giggles.

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    Lol! Love it!

  5. #5
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    Love it! Thank you for sharing.

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    Thanks for tickling my funny bone

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    U can not tire of jokes about kids and ole kids ...lol love um. Thanks.

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    Out of the mouths of babes . They are so innocent and honest! My children has said some whoppers in their childhood .

  9. #9
    Super Member kateyb's Avatar
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    Kids have a simple logic that is wonderful.

  10. #10
    Super Member nygal's Avatar
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    Wow..those are all so great!!! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning.
    When it seems like the world is falling to pieces remember that the pieces are falling into place. We are nearing closer to the End Times.

  11. #11
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    Like Art Linkletter used to say: Kids say the darndest things! lol
    When Life brings big winds of change that almost blows you over.Hang on tight and Believe.
    Words and hearts should be handled with care-for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair. Author unknown to me
    Do what you feel in your heart to be right; for you'll be criticized anyway-Eleanor Roosevelt

  12. #12
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    These were great! Kids can be so funny without even trying. My husband grew a beard during a month's time. He manages several daycare centers. One little boy said to him, "You look really old today." Another little boy who noticed the beard for the first time said, "Did you get that last night?" Precious children!

  13. #13
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    I enjoyed these! I had to copy them and send them in email to my family so they can enjoy them as well. Thanks for posting them.

  14. #14
    Member Julielhs's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing

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    Super Member sewdamncute's Avatar
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    So cute, thanks for sharing!
    Blessed Be
    Darlene

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    Those are gems....thanks for the morning chuckle....Bea

  17. #17
    Super Member mountain deb's Avatar
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    Thanks for the giggles.
    ABCDEFG

  18. #18
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    My four year old grandson cannot say the "th" sound yet, so when he says his little brother's name, Ethan, it comes out "Efan." Ethan started going to a Mother's Day Out two mornings a week and came home with things he had done at school with his name on them. When the older grandson saw his name written "Ethan" he was adamant they had spelled his name wrong. He thought it should be "Efan!"

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    OMG! that was such a good laugh. Will pass them on.THANKS

  20. #20
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by elliegirl View Post
    my four year old grandson cannot say the "th" sound yet, so when he says his little brother's name, ethan, it comes out "efan." ethan started going to a mother's day out two mornings a week and came home with things he had done at school with his name on them. When the older grandson saw his name written "ethan" he was adamant they had spelled his name wrong. He thought it should be "efan!"
    lol !
    Nancy in western NY
    before you speak THINK
    T is it True? H is it Helpful? I is it Inspiring? N is it Necessary? K is it Kind?


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