How would you want someone to react?
 

I was wondering after reading the post on people not appreciating the quilts we make. I know the hard work, creativity, and joy that goes into making my quilts and to give it to someone who just doesn't respond is very disappointing. But I was wondering....what if someone made me a quilt that was all the wrong colors or design for me. How would I react??? Of course I would be very appreciated because I know the work involved and also how nice of them to think of me. But I realized that I probably would put it in the closet and not look at it again. That is really not appreciating the gift. So I was wondering if there is a way for a person to tell the giver in a kind way that they don't like the colors or it is not their style and it would be better to give it to someone else who would really appreciate it. But also to be able to tell the giver that they like certain colors, quiet colors, not flowery things, or whatever their taste. I think that some people are also thinking how can this fit into the decor of their own home and that may be a reason that they act blah about the gift. I have decided that because of this post and how people have responded to it that I might be asking people about their preferences in regards to colors, etc.
So what I was wondering was......if you received a quilt that you just could not stand colors or designs, how would your respond and what would you do with the quilt after you got it?????

Good question, I've often wondered the same thing. Quite honestly, when I see some of the quilts on here that are going to be given as gifts, all I can think of is "wow"..... and I don't mean that in a good way. Truth be told, I'll bet I'm not the only one with that response. This is going to be interesting.....

"Oh, wow, I can see all the love that went into this. Thank you for such a thoughtful gift."


I had to do this when my elderly uncle took up quilting right after his wife died. He came to a family reunion with 15 lap size tied quilts. He used old sheets for the backing-not a problem except that he didn't cut away the hems and there's a questionable stain in one corner. What a wonderful mess it was. He thought that since he grew up with his mother quillting and all she did was cut fabric into small pieces and sew it back to together that he could do the same thing. He called me "you'lll never guess what I found up at the Walmarts...a razor blade on a stick!"

So he cut up my aunt's entire fabric stash into ~2" squares-now my aunt did not quilt, she made clothes so there was a wide variety of fabrics to begin with.

Then my uncle remembered that grandma would cut up all clothes to make quilts. So he cut up her entire wardrobe into 2" squares. Oh, my. It was fun looking at the squares to see what all he cut up-double knit polyester, bras, slips, upholstery fabric, pleather. He didn't remove any of the embellishments so there are little pieces of lace and beads too.

The batting is only in the center of the quilt, he was in the beginning of raw edge quilting before they even had a name for it, he didn't bother the turn under the binding. It's a complete wreck....but I love it because he did the best he could with his knowledge. I think it helped him work through the grief of losing his wife of 50 yrs.

It's sitting in the closet with all the other quilts that family have given me or I've made. I pull it out as an object lesson to remind me to slow down and pay attention to detail.

This is a good question. A friend of mine long armed a quilt for a lady. The quilt was a top that the lady had found stored away in a box that came from her grandmother. I have to admit that I thought the quilt was hideous and I sure wouldn't have wanted it as a gift. The fabric that was chosen as binding added to the ickness of the quilt. We asked the lady what she was going to do with it and her answer was I'm giving it to my daughter -- my very picky daughter.

I wonder how it was received. Three of us friends who saw the quilt and appreciate quilts thought it was pretty icky. I guess I would have just smiled and then disposed of it later. We don't all like the same thing so this can be kind of tricky!

The 'uglies' went into the closet.. sorry to say but since my MIL passed Ive since pulled them out and are being used everyday.... NOW i see them as beauties....

and to answer your question: Im kinda blunt... and Ive learned this phrase from hubby: dont ask a question you dont want to hear the answer to.....

"Thank you, this is great!" would be all I needed to hear.

Well, even if you don't "like" something, that doesn't mean it can't keep you warm, does it? You can put it between your sheet and a quilt you love in the winter. Or hang it on the wall in a room you don't use too much. I always find the good in something and would be sure to let the quilter know that. "It's so soft and love this color! I'm going to hang it in my laundry room since I spend so much time there! It will cheer me up!"

Trust me, if my 14-year old son can open used Tupperware containers in front of someone, you can handle a gift quilt!

I've actually been in that situation, before I started quilting. My grandmother made me a pink and green quilt, with large raw-edged butterflies. This was in the 70s, and I was really disappointed - I thought it was just about the ugliest thing I'd seen. I wrote her a thank you note and used the quilt on my bed for a while, then it was folded up at the end of the bed, and then it went into a closet.

About 10 years ago, I had a cat who thought my quilt frame was a hammock. To protect the quilt in progress, I grabbed my old, ugly pink and green quilt. It's a bit faded now and shows wear, but after 30 years, it looks much more attractive than it did when I was younger. I still use it to cover my work in progress, and I enjoy the idea that I am hand quilting with her.

When I give someone a quilt, I also give up my ideas about how the quilt should be used. If they don't like it, that's too bad, and while it might hurt to think of it lining the dog's bed, it's not my quilt anymore. But if they don't say thank you, chances are good I'll never make them a quilt again.

Janet

"Wow, I can't believe you took the time to do something like this for me."

I love charity crafter's response! It reminds me of a Utube video where a guy took ladies panties and made a quilt. He used only sexy panties (no Granny panites according to him) and it was hilarious! Sometimes I think we've got to look at what the quilt says of the quilter (in charity's case it does sound like it helped him work through his grief). Right now I have the same dilemma; My Mother was working on a cross-stitch quilt when she died and told me she was going to give it to me when it was finished. I got the top from my Sister a couple of months ago and it's done in dusty blue and pink - only two colors. It is so not me. The blocks are sewn together without sashing and these are preprinted blocks with the hand-quilting lines already drawn. I had every intention of dividing it and making a quilt for my Sister and I before I saw it. Now I don't know what to do with it because I know it's not my Sister's colors either.

That is exactly why when I plan a quilt as a gift, I discuss colors and pattern with the recipient. It took months for my daughter to choose a pattern, but when she spied a bargello she knew it was what she wanted. I would never think of making a gift quilt without doing some research first. It saves so many hurt feelings and will get you many hugs in return!

I don't foresee ever having the problem of someone giving me a quilt. That being said if it is was just blah, I would thank them for thinking of me. Then it would probably go in the group of quilts that I have made and stay there.

after saying "Thank you for your thoughfulness", I would not hide the thing, I'd donate it to some organization that would make good use of it, perhaps a women's shelter ...

Joyce,
Can you some how unsew it and add more colors to it? To make it something more to your style? Maybe alternating blocks?

I agree. Having been on the receiving end of gifts that were returned, I can tell you that it hurts no matter how tactfully it's done. Smile, say thank you and give an honest complement on color, fabric choices or the time and love that went into the quilt. I have a quilt on my bed right now that's not exactly what I was hoping for but I know the person who made it struggled with each stitch since she has severe arthritis. Seeing that quilt reminds me of the love she put into it.

Most of the quilts on our beds go under the bedspread, so now matter what they look like, they get used and keep us warm. I was taught that part of being gracious was to make a gift giver feel appreciated, so no matter what one truly thinks about a gift, the giver is thanked and you make a positive statement about the gift. Once it goes to my house I can do whatever is most convenient for me. I really don't think anyone ever gives a gift thinking "bet they will really hate this one" except maybe my dh who loves to buy the worst possible gift he can find for chinese gift exchanges. lol

There is always a way to use a quilt in one's decor, regardless of pattern or color. However, when I give a quilt as a gift I always include a note that if it isn't to their taste, they may return it or drop it off at the local animal shelter and I'll replace it with something they will like.

It's never happened yet, but I put it right out there.

I would thank the person who made it and probably keep it on the bed in the spare room; I love hand made gifts and appreciate the effort and time that someone spent in "thinking" of me.

My step son (who lives with us) has burned holes in my sheets and comforters, and has never washed his bedding for the year he has been here. When we move (no HE IS NOT moving with us I draw the line here) I will keep that bedding to put on the bed if/when he spends the night. I would not even put a quilt that I did not like on the spare bed when he is there. At 28 there is no excuse!!!!!

That is a great idea because I fear that one of the quilts I have made will get thrown out. I have found a few at goodwill or salvation army and it makes me sad.

I agree. I have only gifted a few quilts but in general when giving gifts, I tell people if they don't like it to feel free to share it with someone who does or pass it along. I firmly believe that each and every gift that is given has a recipient - it just isn't always the first person we give the gift to!!

I also agree with the lady who said she researches. I look at people's interiors for colors, see what colors they wear most commonly, do they have a favorite handbag or something. I also look for clues in their homes, are they traditional, contemporary, minimal or do they like clutter? These all give you clues that you can use.

Here is another piece of food for thought... How many times have we read messages on the board here posted by happy quilters who have wandered into a local thrift store or yard sale only to find a lovely quilt that they snapped up for a bargain and took home to love??? Someone above mentioned that they feel sad when they find quilts at thrift stores, but I see it as an opportunity for a hand-crafted item to find a home with someone who will love it and appreciate it in a way the original recipient did not. A quilt that finds it way to a loving home is a happy quilt, regardless of where that home may be. :)

I always would say thank you and make a complement about the gift. Quilts are always useful, even if it is not a quilt I will choose to display in an obvious place of pride in my home (and no, I have never lined a dog bed with one!!!)

Donate it to a loved charity but please don't tell the person who took long hours to make something just for you.

I will always remember something my daddy taught us boys: "If somebody thought enough of you to give you a gift and it's nothing but a safety pin and that's all they could afford then you treat that safety pin like it's the grandest safety pin in the world."

I would be absolutely thrilled if somebody gave me a handmade quilt no matter the colors or pattern. Just to know they thought enough of me to give me anything would be joy enough. I would cherish it; use it; and show it off.

David

Since everyone's style of decorating is usually so uniquely personal, there are many people who wouldn't want to hang a quilted piece on their wall. It would mean taking down an oil painting. There are others who probably are delighted to have a quilt under their bedspread but would never have a quilt instead of a bedspread. It seems very hard to make a quilt that fits into someone else's decor. I'm trying to make a quilt for a daughter that want it to be "non-traditional, not quilty-looking, very elequent and dressy to go with the new bedroom furniture." I expect it to end up under the bedspread after I have spent several hundred hours on it. How can you make an elequent looking quilt? Elequent is truly in the eyes of the beholder, I think. But I know she will love it, just not display it.

Anyone making a quilt for someone should at least know what colors are used for the guest room, bedroom, or what color the dog bed is.

all I want is for people to be honest. I would rather make them a quilt that they would like than give them a closet one. I tell people this when I give them the quilt. if they dont like it then let me know and i can make one that better suits them. I am actually getting ready to look for fabric for tow baby quilts. one for a baby to use when it is bigger and one for the baby to be snuggled in. I am going to take the mommy to joanns near by and see what she would like to do, they are not going to find out the sex of the baby till it is born, for the bed quilt.

If I received a hand made quilt that someone took the time to search for fabric, took the time to stitch the blocks, took the time to quilt the quilt, took the time to bind the quilt I would be grateful for that quilt. I dont care how sad the quilt was or how loppy it was or if it was made of sun yellow and hot pink together with splashes of purple, I would cherish that quilt as much as if it was the most beautiful quilt in the world. Someone choose me to present with a gift of their hard work and I would use that quilt even if it didn't go with a thing in my home. But that's just me.

If I'm making a quilt as a gift...then I get to pick the colors & pattern. If I'm making you a quilt, I probably know you pretty well and I use your personality/likes etc that I know. I also usually make it a throw to lay around on the couch and watch a movie with, not to go with your decor. I always try to make them happy & colorful and I try to make the back nice too. Unique !! If I don't get a thank you, I call them up ! I'm just that way.

I gave my cousin a throw for Christmas last year. When we would go shopping, she always looked for shades of purple for her clothing. And she always looked for a particular shade a green when we were looking for pottery. So I made a quilt of half triangles of shades of greens and purples with creams. She loved it! Now, I am thinking I ought to email all my sisters and cousins what colors they lean to for future Christmases!!

Actually, I have received an afghan that I could not stand colors or design. Used it in the bedroom for naps (which I take a lot of these days, it seems). I'm not into the matchy matchy thing in the bedroom since I don't live in there and its dark anyway. You could use it in a family room. Kids don't care if you think it's ugly. It is cuddly for watching movies. I put those afghans/quilts into a storage ottoman - perfect. They get pulled out for movie watching. I had one ugly afghan (and it is ugly - even my grandmother, the maker, said it was ugly) that I was using as a car afghan - my Mom adores it and has it now. People like different things.

I don't have an issue with my giftees. They pick their quilts out. I just tell them that if they change their minds to let me know. I can give them something different. I love to make scrap quilts, but can't really live with them, and they are often the first to be chosen!

For baby quilts/afghans, I just tell them that if the quilt is not to their taste or they have too much stuff to feel free to donate it to L&D dept. at our local hospitals. Many of the nurses are quilters too and they give the quilts to a needy kid. I know one mom who got 4 quilts and 2 afghans at her baby shower - I totally understood why she wanted to donate my quilt and I was all for it.

It really is a good question. I imagine I would tell the person thank you, compliment them on how much work it must have taken, accept it with grace and take it home. What I would do with it after that I don't know, probably put it on a shelf someplace and use it for the kids when they spend the night.
My fear in giving quilts is will the person who gets it like it? I would need to know their likes and dislikes well.

I have a son that wants me to make him a quilt but asked me to walk with him through the bedding department of several department stores so he could show me what he likes and what he doesn't like. In his own words, "Maybe we'll find one I really love and you can copy it." Well, that way I would definitely know he would use it. Actually that's a pretty practical suggestion I think. And those aren't all made in China. Some stores have some made by hand in the US and of course the price is many, many, many hundreds of dollars.

I buy quilts at thrift stores, garage sales, estate sales, and auctions and then give them the love they were meant to have. At an auction once I bought what was displayed as a bag of rags -- inside it was a hand sewn quilt that had rarely been used. It was made from 30's flour sack fabric - I cherish that one. If they are well-worn I turn them into teddy bears or something. I used one as the background in a shoadowbox for a friend's mother's jewelry and knick knacks that we made together to honor her mother. My friend loves it. We're not all museum or Hollywood quality, and neither are handmade items such as quilts. Just as I want to be loved as I grow old (and I wasn't too pretty either), I want to give homemade quilts the love they deserve.

These echo my feelings, too. No one has ever gifted me with a quilt. I've gotten a couple when someone passed and their "stuff" was divided up ... but that's not the same. I'm sure I'd cry if someone made and gave me a quilt, no matter what it looked like. It would be beautiful in my eyes.

And mlsa (David) - I loved your reply, also!

Before I would do all of that work, I ask about their colors and I try to pay attention when I visit their home. No one wants their quilt put in a closet, never to be used, plus it is so expensive to make a quilt, you might as well do what they like, instead of what you like.

First,This type of reaction really bothers me and is why I wont post photos. Second, I can't imagine anyone taking the time to make me a quilt so if they did I would be totally speechless. This christmas I recieved a box of candy,a pair of slippers and a peacock feather hair clip that I would NEVER wear. The point is the peacock feather came from my son who knows how much I love feathers so you see ,he put thought into that gift and that means so much to me. I told him I loved it and I do for the thought that went into it. I currently have it hanging from the rearview mirror of my car and told him since I can't wear those type of things to work I will get to see it everytime I am driving.
It amazes me how materalistic people have become. Who cares if it matches, I would be grateful for the thought that went into it. I know the thought that goes into things I make. One year I made my mom some stuffed rabbits with clothes on them, well she then got into making them and hers were soooooo much better than mine. I told mom that it was ok if she fixed mine up or just got rid of them beacuse hers were so pretty. Moms response was "I would never do that I know how busy you are working ,farming and taking care of the boys and what time was sacrificed to make me the rabbits,I could never get rid of them" well that was about 20 or so years ago and at christmas I noticed those pitiful little rabbits still there on their little bench in my moms spotless home.......giving AND recieving should be from the heart......

[QUOTE=mlsa;4818605]I will always remember something my daddy taught us boys: "If somebody thought enough of you to give you a gift and it's nothing but a safety pin and that's all they could afford then you treat that safety pin like it's the grandest safety pin in the world."

I would be absolutely thrilled if somebody gave me a handmade quilt no matter the colors or pattern. Just to know they thought enough of me to give me anything would be joy enough. I would cherish it; use it; and show it off.

David[/QUOTE

beautiful advice and some words of wisdom to pass on.....thank you

Charity-crafter: I think you should submit one of your uncle's quilts to Ami Simms' "worst quilt contest". Not to make fun of him, but sometimes laughter is the best way to cope. If you haven't looked (and laughed at) her contest entries, the website is: http://amisimms.com/worquilworco.html

dayle

There are many items in my home that I don't like, it would fit right in. I would take it, thank them and use it. The chance of the giver seeing it versus the chances of Better Homes and Gardens seeing it.....humm....no photo shoot on my calender anytime soon.

It may only be unique to my experience, however it is not general practice to give quilts around here. It is mostly because they cost so much to make that it would be a very expensive present. The last quilt I made cost me $350 in materials and thread so there is no way that I would give it away. I did win a quilt in a raffle one time. I gave it to some old ladies who needed to raise money for their charity and they raffled it.

I tried. I sent her photos and a long explaination. She shared the fun but said entries for the worst quilt contest had to be submitted by the person who made it.