Friends and honesty

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10-19-2011, 07:04 AM

#61

lovingmama

Super Member

Join Date: Nov 2010

Posts: 3,751

Always be honest! Just do it in a loving way, don't beat it down on people.

10-19-2011, 07:12 AM

#62

nancy59

Senior Member

Join Date: Feb 2011

Location: Arvada, Colorado

Posts: 370

I have a friend who is very honest with me, but needs work in diplomancy. Since I love her I just laugh, but honestly I will sit back and think about what she said.

10-19-2011, 07:24 AM

#63

puck116

Senior Member

Join Date: Mar 2010

Location: MA and FL

Posts: 413

There's honesty and then there's honesty that can hurt someone's feelings. If you choose your words carefully, you can be honest about things without hurting their feelings.

There's also lying and the little white lie.
I always compliment a bride at her wedding, whether I like her dress or not. I remember how nice it felt when everyone complimented me at my wedding.

10-19-2011, 08:14 AM

#64

joyce blint

Super Member

Join Date: Jan 2011

Location: SE Iowa

Posts: 1,583

I believe in being truthful. Sometimes it's better to combine some tact with the truth, but always be honest!

10-19-2011, 09:18 AM

#65

mamaw

Super Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Mar 2009

Location: Maine

Posts: 1,914

[quote=rosalia856]I feel if they are a real friend they will tell you things you don't like to hear. But I am sure you have told them more then once

10-19-2011, 09:36 AM

#66

bearisgray

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Join Date: May 2008

Location: MN

Posts: 24,448

[quote=rosalia856]I feel if they are a real friend they will tell you things you don't like to hear. But I am sure you have told them more then once

10-19-2011, 09:57 AM

#67

Ramona Byrd

Super Member

Join Date: May 2009

Location: Merced, CA

Posts: 4,188

say something like, "well, its not my taste, so I don't think it looks all that good on you!"
------------------------------------
BUT that dusty rose you were wearing last week sure did make your complexion glow!!

I don't have to add that the acid green dress she's wearing now makes me want to get out of her way to the bathroom where she'll undoubtedly want to vomit!!!

10-19-2011, 10:09 AM

#68

Phyllis42

Senior Member

Join Date: Dec 2010

Location: high desert of AZ

Posts: 591

Quote:

Originally Posted by sewwhat85

imho there is a difference in honesty and and being cruel i believe that in a friendship you can be honest in a loving and kind way. If i think what I am going to say may damage the friendship I would not say it or would try to say it in a different way. It all depends on the value of the friendship.It just like your mom used to tell you if you cant say something nice dont say anything at all.

I have/had two BFF. One [who has, passed] I could be brutally honest with and her with me ... altho there was still tact. The one who has been my BFF for 50 years, I have to use much more tact. I do not want to ever hurt her feelings. Oops! I don't mean I would intentionally hurt the feelings of deceased BFF. There is just a different 'value' as stated by sewwhat85. Every friend has a special quality and if they are a valued friend, one treats them special. Whoa! This could get deep. Better stop now.

10-19-2011, 10:39 AM

#69

jbj137

Super Member

Join Date: Dec 2009

Location: Duncan, SC, 29334 USA

Posts: 4,580

Tell me the TRUTH always
and especially if I ask.
J J

10-19-2011, 10:45 AM

#70

bearisgray

Power Poster

Join Date: May 2008

Location: MN

Posts: 24,448

Or tell "the truth" as one knows it - one may not have all the information/facts about a situation, one may have biases that we may or may not be aware of.

"My truth" may not be the same as "your truth" - even if I feel I'm being as "honest" as I can be.