I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. That being said, I am the world's worst gift giver. It stresses me to no end to try and pick what someone else would like. I don't do surprises mostly too because I don't like surprises.
When it comes to something like a cherished quilt, I would hate to spend the $$, time and effort to make something that wouldn't be fully appreciated. (So my "gift" list is really, really short! :-) )
I'd suggest to make a day of it with your GD if possible. Go fabric shopping, let her show you what she likes. You don't have to buy it then and there but now you have a feel for her tastes. Have lunch together and visit. Let her share an activity or place that holds her interest.
Later, use some of the fabrics she showed you, add some of your own that's similar (?), add a letter recalling the special day you shared to make this one of a kind quilt made especially for her. What memories you'll make. Seems like a win-win for both.
Anyway, that's my spin. :D