Long story to short...don't hide this from your husband.
Some day your daughter will leave home and you want them to have a good relationship.
Be there, when SHE tells him, but try not to gang up on DH, bc he gets over the top.
If he is too over the top, well, then you have more going on than a lost ipod.
I am speaking from experience, and still don't know all those answers.
ETA: good for you for going to McDonald's in person.
That is something I learned from DH...face ppl and make them face you. You get more communication and resolution.
You'll be doing your dd a favor to talk to dad, even though he will be justifiably angry. The man is out of work! Of course it will be a downer...
but...they will LEARN how to relate to each other AND, DD won't have the guilt, enabled by you, where her dad is concerned.
I raised three great kids, but have some ponderings about how it could have gone differently in a few spots. Never did hide anything though...as Bellaboo said...bite, bite, bite...even if just in the conscience. Give her some closure mom and a hug. :-D