I have had to deal wih this subject in my own life and what I tell my kids is that a gift is a gift and once you give it then there are no conditions. I think that itis about the giving part of things and letting go of our own greed and not what the other person is doing...they have to live with themselves and their own deeds....I trust in my instincts and the information that I have...if I feel someone is dishonest or I don't feel the "urge" to give something than I don't....if I need to give then I give.....there is no foll proof way of doing things...so I just feel like I am helping myself more than anyone else.