I've learned that the secret of giving is to have no strings attached.
I used to get really upset by a family member who insisted that gifts be used a certain way or only in certain circumstances. Since I don't want anyone else to feel that way, I just give whatever I give and then forget about it, no need for paybacks, thank yous or anything.
Now a thank you is always appreciated and I prefer that anyone who gets something from me would pass it on rather than try to pay me back, but if they feel the need to payback, then I will accept graciously.