Our first ex daughter in law and I had a terrible relationship for several years. She gave me two wonderful grandchildren, so I was determined to "like" her, for the sake of the kids. At school funtions, we sat near each other, but not together, same at their sporting events. But after the first few times, it got easier and we all started sitting next to each other, her family and ours. When she remarried and was pregnamt, she actually invited me to see how she had decorated the nursery. She lost that baby , the day before she was to have her. My son, his wife and I went to the funeral home, not sure if we would be welcome there or not, but our hearts ached for her. We arrived early, and the family was still having private viewing but her brother saw us waiting and he told her we were there, She actually sent for me to come first, she wanted me to see her baby before other people showed up. All her family treated us as if we were family. we shared in their grief . I was asked to come to the service and the burial, and there I met the family of her husband. They were the ones who seemed uncomfortable and alone, so I introduced myself and they were so glad to meet me. I"ve gone on and on, but what I really wanted to say is for happy and sad events, we all need to put aside personal feelings and share with each other. Ex DIL and I are good friends now, and her mother and I email all the time.