Parents like that are the reason my husband and I have 3 extra kids!! We had three great kids already.
about 7 years ago, my DD was starting high school- she knew a couple of boys that had family issues and needed a place to live. One of them was instant messaging all his friends that the state was coming to take them to foster care and did anyone have a place they could stay instead? and my DD immediately called me at work - I said of course they could come here. They had little parenting growing up - lots of family problems. They were doing poorly in school, had no real friends and would prob not have graduated. They moved in with us and had to toe the line - we had rules - school rules, social rules. Which is why their sister (13 at the time) refused to come here and went into group homes and back and forth with her mom instead. The boys rebelled at times- We set the rules and they had no choice but to follow since there was nowhere to go.
All my daughter's friends came here once the boys moved in.. We were the hangout place.The kids were safe, had fun and kept out of trouble. I t was not unusual to have 15 kids camped out all over the house every weekend. Grocery bills were astronomical (the boys were both 6'4" and one weighed over 300lbs!!)
These boys both went to college- one graduates this year, he joined the army national guard and has gotten married to a really sweet girl. The other one got an academic scholarship to college (after failing his first year in high school before we knew him)- he is involved in a lot of outside activities and supports himself, with a couple years til he is done college.
AND>...Now we have our little munchkin - 3 years old - who is the sister's baby (had her at 16). Her mom is going to jail, has had DHS involved for the past 3 years, and we thank goodness the baby has lived most of her life with us. We are expecting that within the next few months we will adopt and she will be ours forever. Believe it or not, Her mom still thinks she is a wonderful parent.
It hasn't always been easy, and at near-retirement age, it is a little exhausting raising a toddler. But every time we hear about the mom's lifestyle issues, we are so grateful to have our little one here - my avatar...
I guess I agree with whoever said the ones who are the hardest need it the most. We did not go looking for these kids, but when they needed a place, we were happy to help. There have been many problems that needed solving, expenses we hadn't planned on and life changes for all of us. We can't imagine what would have happened to any of them if we hadn't taken them on... We love them all as our own.
SO keep an open mind, be patient, be a good role model for those kids that are struggling, and you never know when you will turn a life around. You don't have to be the best parent - you just have to care enough to want to try....It is worth the effort, for sure.