On Oct. 1, 2010, my husband and I will celebrate our 27th anniversary. We've known each other since we were 5; first met in Kindergarten. I come from a long line of "divorce-free" marriages: both sets of grandparents were married over 55 years when my grandfathers passed away. Neither grandmother remarried.
My mom & dad have been married 59 years this past May.
And when we got married, I said that I didn't believe in divorce -- I'd kill him first, but I'd never divorce him! Sounds kinda funny, but it goes to the mentality of marriage: if you make that committment, then you should stand by it. Now, I've worked for 18+ years for Attorneys, and I've seen the ravages of divorce, so I know that in some cases it is warranted. But it's not for me.
We were 22 when we married, and I have said it ever since: I knew my mind then, and what I wanted. I figured if I was intending to spend the rest of my life with someone, I had better love him, and there should be laughter. To this day, he can make me laugh until I can't breathe. Yup, sometimes we're just plain goofy, but it's what works for us. I couldn't ask for a more caring, loving, or concerned partner to walk through life with me. He's the best father to our 3 daughters, and incredibly selfless to the 2 grandsons.
And like so many others, "they" said it wouldn't last. His brother has been married, has 4 kids + one his wife had after an affair, and they're divorced. His other brother has been married, divorced, and is married to someone else now. His sister is still married, but hers is a marriage that suits her, so that's all there is. My brother and sister have both only been married the one time, and are still married.
If you've got the desire and admiration to take note of a longstanding marriage, and it's what you want in life, too, then you should do all in your power to make it work. Jobs come and go, housing changes, kids grow up and move away. What's left at the end of the day is your relationship with your spouse. And if you can sit together in a room and enjoy each other's company, whether or not you even have to say a word to each other, you've been blessed.
To all us "old married people", a big pat on the back. To the "less experienced" married people, keep working on it! It's a very worthy project.
Odessa