Been there done that. 45 years ago, hubby #1 chose to step out and have a child outside of marriage. For me that was a deal breaker. Plus when I found out, he blamed me and shoved me against the wall and hit me. Another deal breaker. Back then if you were divorced, oh my. He threatened to kill me and I reminded him who was the better shot. (I was raised in a hunting family, we shot what we ate) A couple years later I remarried to the most wonderful guy a person would ever want. 43 years coming up and we are still crazy about each other. By the way, #1 is on his 5th wife. His relatives live close to me and still claim me as a relative. Humm maybe it WASN'T me? If at all possible hang in there and make it work, if cheating and violence are involved, get out and make a new life.