This thread got me thinking about what has happened with my stepchildren. The oldest was born when my hubby was 20, her mother didn't want her and gave her to him when she was only 2 weeks old. He was living about 1500 miles from his family and just didn't know what to do. So, he moved back home with his parents. Lucky for her, Grandma has been the only mother she has had. Then a few years later hubby met someone else. Again, the grandparents could see what kind of person she was and insisted the child stayed with them. His oldest just finished college and is dating a wonderful guy, has a great job. Hubby married and had 2 other children with the new girlfriend. She was lazy, wouldn't even get a part-time job to help, hubby had to work 2 jobs to make ends meet and didn't spend much time with the kids, as he was always working. Thir mother lied to the kids about everything, told them she never wanted them. This wasn't just hear say, but told to me by the kids. Of couse, they divorced, hubby tried to get the kids, but that was 17 years ago. Their mother re-married and had another child. The new baby was the favorite. I came into their lives when his son was 18 and daughter 15. The son had already been in alot of trouble and dropped out of school. He came to live with us. The daughter stayed with Mom, a state away. She wouldn't come to visit because I knew she was boy-crazy and wouldn't let her run the roads, like she did at home. By the time she was 16, she was pregant. Her mother, not wanting to deal with this, signed the papers, so she could marry the baby's father and then moved 1500 miles away before her grandson was born and has only seen him once. My poor stepdaughter is in a bad abusive marrage, works 2 jobs. We have begged her to leave and offered help. My husband goes and see's her and the baby, now almost 2, when her husband allows it. Since my stepson has been with us, he has gotten his GED, a job and just moved into his own appartment. I never had children of my own and I never tired to take the place of their mother, I demanded respect for my stepson while he was under my roof and expected him to get his GED, a job, and stay out of any kind of trouble. Sorry this got so long, my point is kids need love, stucture, and activies to keep busy. Parents are just that, not the kids best friend. Being a step-parent to these troubled kids has been hard work, but very rewarding, when I have become very close with my stepson and I'm proud of the things he has done.